Summer students disrespectful of my home.

Honestly op if this gets you “so annoyed you may overact” I’m sorry I don’t think you are in the headspace to be hosting teens.

@CleanCityBird
Look, YOU are the one who has said things that have led many people to think you are over reacting. Then you have come back and called people awful and that they shouldn't be on the internet and that they need to calm down.

You need to realise that the reason people have taken this view is because what YOU have posted.

You have said you are annoyed with them bringing in or having food from elsewhere. You have later said this is because of some concern about them not liking your food. So why would you think it off when people comment that it's not weird to have food from elsewhere and that you seem weirdly precious about them liking your food.

Those comments are based on what YOU have written

You also said

I’m so annoyed I’m afraid I will over react with them.

You are SO ANNOYED that you fear you may over react.

That's some high level of annoyance you've described. To fear you will over react. So again. Why would you find it odd that others have said you are being peculiar and over reacting to the whole situation.

It's you who have created this image of yourself with your choice if language

You seriously sound a bit unhinged and very reactional.

A whole bunch of strangers from all over the country, different backgrounds, religions, beliefs, social classes etc... are not all somehow reading the same conclusion about your rants accidentally.

We are saying this because its how you are acting, we are reading it because its what you are writing/saying, no one is pulling this out of thin air we are going off what YOU say, there is no conspiracy against you.

Anecdotally the Russian girls were the nicest. Dont know how they are bringing up their girls but it works.

What’s with the wrong wrong wrong? It only needs saying once. You sound slightly unhinged too.

You live and learn with hosting! We often got repeat ones or others asking to be transferred to us <preens>. I was quite low key always had tea with them asked them about their day but otherwise left them to it unless they needed me. Food you get what you’re given but always ensured food quite teen friendly not elaborate dishes.

We learned over the years the vast majority are absolutely fine and lovely and normal a small minority are extremely special amazing people and another small minority are a bloody nightmare!

You LITERALLY say

'Im annoyed they have someone else’s food and im annoyed because it’s disrespectful to my home.'

You have absoloutly no right to be annoyed though that they are eating other food, its frankly utterly bizarre that it even crossed your mind never mind mentioning it several times and being 'annoyed' and 'talking to them about it'.

You have no right to a say in anyone else's diet. Its absoloutly NOT disrespectful to eat other food.

You said it several times so it clearly is a big issue that you thought was acceptable to be annoyed by but are now backpedaling because everyone has told you its controlling.

They are clearly already feeling they have to hide this food from you so you actually haven't been very accommodating, you could cause disordered eating if you keep pushing this control on kids.

The language school probably won't rate you (well, none of the providers I worked for did.) We may have placed a value on those whose accommodation had a particular advantage - i.e en-suite, private annex, proximity to our school etc but we never rated the hosts themselves.

What we did do, however, is very "judiciously" use hosts in the future who were difficult to deal with, had unreasonable expectations or who were transactional in their approach to hosting.

The hosts who really provided a home away from home, who were warm, made students truly part of their family life and who we knew the students were happy with tended to reap the most benefits. Students do talk, and you'd be amazed how many students in subsequent years would asked to be placed with Mr and Mr X because their friend had a good time three years ago and felt like one of the family.

And likewise, if it's anything like the place I last worked if the students came into the office and said "I want to move host families because my host mother told me off for leaving rotting food in my bedroom," we'd have explained gently why that wasn't acceptable and attempted to resolve sensibly.

"fancy French pastries"? Do you mean an Aldi croissant? 😂

Ahhh French kids are going to be used to a VERY different diet.

Ask them what they'd like, better yet, take them to a supermarket. Buy a baguette, not even joking.

A lot of them will be used to French school meals which are a million miles from UK ones. Everything is going to taste a bit weird and different for them.

They do rate you though whether you like it or not!

This is a bit of a non-issue. Shock-horror - teenagers can be slobs if left to their own devices! It's not 'disrespect' any more than a bear is disrespecting the woods when he shits there. It's just par for the course and what they do - a blind spot in the teenage brain.

So tell them to put their rubbish in the bin and not leave it to fester, cos it's gross. Job done.

All the rest is over-thinking and projection - we don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are, as the saying goes.

I have hosted, some nice and some very unpleasant. Rate me? i don't think so.

Also they rate you you know. They are your clients. So if you are too difficult/ strict / ranty you quietly won’t get booked by the language school.

Are you always this ranty and odd? You will be the talk of the summer school 😂

Also stop making so much effort! I hosted for 8 years ask about dislikes allergies on arrival otherwise then they get what they are given ie what we are eating. When hosting teens I kept it simple not curries etc.

Never hosted a teen that didn’t like toad in the hole.

Youre being abit bonkers op. Hosted for years my tips

list of clear rules for them on arrival.

have extremely low standards as to teen behaviour. Only kicked a group out once for smoking in the room after explicitly being told they weren’t allowed to smoke

put food in middle of table and let them help themselves. Plating up mounds of food and plonking it in front of them is stressful for some teen girls remember that myself.

They didn't like the food they swapped it for either - seeing as it was rotting in their rooms.

What a load of nonsense, buy fancy French pastries? I don't think so. They fit into your life not the other way round.
A reminder to use a bin is all that is required here .

you nailed it!

You're massively overstepping.

Don't go on in their rooms! You can lightly tell them not to leave food in there, bit otherwise give them clean sheets and leave them to it. FFS give them some privacy.

They're not going to tell you they don't like the food because they're 15 and they don't have that kind of confidence. They see it as only being 3 weeks of putting up with it. No teenager is going to tell someone they don't know well they don't like the food.

And instead of getting arsey with replies, I think you should maybe take a look at your first post - it does sound unhinged.

I think the thing here is that they are French.

They are not going to tell you they don't like the food, or that they have swapped food.

I had a French girl stay with me and I cooked traditional English food, I said leave anything you don't like and I was told that not finishing the food was disrespectful to the 'cooker' as she called me.

Just tell them to bin any food they have not eaten, that you don't mind them bringing food into the house but that you do mind them hiding things in their room(s).

I'd also add a few snacks they can eat later, some French people don't eat until gone 9pm.

I meant why are you being so arsey with us? But i can see by your later replies to others that you just want a fight and think you are being funny or clever. I feel sorry for those poor kids now.

I’d be incredibly embarrassed if my children left a host’s room with leftover food. Rotting or not. I’d be embarrassed if they left the room in a state where their host had to tidy it. I’m not sure why people are piling on the OP, notwithstanding that it’s a kind of sport in here.

I don’t have any issues. I’m simply pointing out that a) not everyone here is a mother and b) no one owes you a particular answer just because they’re a parent.