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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Summer students disrespectful of my home.

268 replies

CleanCityBird · 17/07/2024 18:56

Hi everyone,
ive 2 students staying with me, both 15 from France. They’re doing a 3 week language course.
Cleaning their room I found old stale sandwiches, partially rotted, yogurts, pastries. The thing is, apart from the yogurt. This isn’t the food I’ve prepared for them.Its someone else’s.
they’ve been here 2 weeks now, & all in all, they’re great kids. Up & out in the morning ( one has said she’s sick 2 out of 10days tho). They’re polite, sweet Girls.

Im annoyed that they left food to rot, it can cause all sort of problems. Im annoyed they have someone else’s food, and im annoyed because it’s disrespectful to my home.
I’ve cut them some slack because they are so young, taking more of a caring role, doing their laundry, cleaning their bathroom.
they’ll be home around 9ish tonight & I have to have a word with them.
i don’t want to upset them but I do want to get the message across that it’s not on.
I’m so annoyed I’m afraid I will over react with them. Any guidance from seasoned student host Mums might have would be greatly appreciated! ❤️

OP posts:
KindleLindle · 17/07/2024 19:16

YABU - they definitely need showing/telling where the bins are but a) why are you in their rooms and b) why does it matter where the food is from?

Is this your first time hosting students of this age?

Badbadbunny · 17/07/2024 19:15

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 17/07/2024 19:12

They’re 15 - they probably don’t know how to tell a stranger the don’t like the food and anyway, you shouldn’t have been in their private space - your house or not!

Utter tosh. It's the OPs own house, and OP has every right to go into "their" room. Especially when it's a matter of something like rotting food waste which causes smells and potentially flies/rodents etc.

JazbayGrapes · 17/07/2024 19:15

Just gently mention to them to bin leftovers because rotting food will attract mice or insects.
As for someone else's food - like from outside, or from your fridge that was reserved for your other family members?

Andwegoroundagain · 17/07/2024 19:15

Just ask that they dispose of food items properly. Forget the issue with the fact the food is not food you recognise/provided. Nowt to do with you. They should absolutely put it in the bin though

Stoptherideiwanttogetoff24 · 17/07/2024 19:14

You are massively overreacting to a bit of mess. They sound lovely just ask them to bring rubbish firm to the bin.

seagullible · 17/07/2024 19:13

CleanCityBird · 17/07/2024 19:07

I definitely will not suck it up. Wrong wrong wrong. Terrible advice.
My food is fabulouso. Absolutely fabulous.

Show quote history

So you are more upset that they might not like your food? What sort of food do you make?

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 17/07/2024 19:12

They’re 15 - they probably don’t know how to tell a stranger the don’t like the food and anyway, you shouldn’t have been in their private space - your house or not!

OperationPushkin · 17/07/2024 19:11

Just remind them where to throw away any unwanted/uneaten food. I definitely wouldn't say anything to them about food from elsewhere. Surely that is their choice? Though perhaps it indicates that they don't particularly care for what you are providing. You may think you cook "absolutely fabulous" food, but they might not. So I would broach the subject of their preferences, but just as a general topic, not in an accusatory way.

Josette77 · 17/07/2024 19:10

I would just remind them to bin the food.

I see no issue with them bringing in other food? That sounds like a control issue on your end.

Original poster
CleanCityBird · 17/07/2024 19:07

Footbull · 17/07/2024 19:04

It's 3 weeks. Just suck it up and learn next time either not to host or lay clearer ground rules.

Don't have a go about them eating other food .maybe they hate your food and are starving!

I definitely will not suck it up. Wrong wrong wrong. Terrible advice.
My food is fabulouso. Absolutely fabulous.

OP posts:
Footbull · 17/07/2024 19:04

It's 3 weeks. Just suck it up and learn next time either not to host or lay clearer ground rules.

Don't have a go about them eating other food .maybe they hate your food and are starving!

Original poster
CleanCityBird · 17/07/2024 19:03

They have a big bin in their room & bathroom.

OP posts:
Original poster
CleanCityBird · 17/07/2024 19:02

It’s other peoples packed lunches. If they swapping because they don’t like the lunch I provide, it would be better if I knew and change it up.

OP posts:
Lorelaigilmore88 · 17/07/2024 19:01

Tbf i wouldn't make a big deal of it, 15 year old kids can be thoughtless... i would mention to them to put food and rubbish in the bins and then leave it at that. Also agree with pps that them having food from elsewhere isn't an issue.

Octavia64 · 17/07/2024 19:01

Someone else's food is standard.

They may have been given a packed lunch on a trip or bought food to have in.

You just need to show them where to put it.

I put a biggish bin in each room and pointed it out to them.

KeirSpoutsTwaddle · 17/07/2024 18:59

They may be buying food elsewhere, or getting food on their course, and not finishing it.

Failing to bin it properly is a fairly minor thing- just show them where the food waste goes.

WindowViper · 17/07/2024 18:57

I get why rotting food is a problem. Do pull them up on that.

But don’t make a fuss about them having food from elsewhere, that’s totally fine for them to do.

Meowzabub · 17/07/2024 18:57

Why is them having food from somewhere else an issue?