Summer students disrespectful of my home.

Sorry? I never said those things?

@eggplant16

You are a liar, trying to backtrack now that you've been rightly piled on.
Are you this inflammatory irl?

You could just nicely ask if they would prefer different things in their packed lunch.

Food waste in bedroom is a flat no for me because of damn fruit flies! In this heat?? Its a recipe for disaster. All food waste goes in an outside bin.

I used to have Japanese students (had them for 6 years) and found them to be unfailingly polite, they ate everything they were given (but I only have small portions of proper home cooked food and then offered seconds) and kept their room tidy. The only issue I had was with the amount of time they spent in the bathroom, as we only had one bathroom at the time. I have heard that European and American students are less likely to be polite, more likely to be entitled etc. that is a generalisation but is what put me off.

I think it is important to set out house rules or expectations at the beginning of their stay - obviously it is a little late for you to do that now, but I think you should tell them that you are going to change their sheets/clean their room tomorrow and ask them to make sure that all rubbish is in the bin, laundry is in a pile/in the laundry bin ready for you to take away, and all personal belongings put away beforehand to enable you to do that. Then you can point out that if they put their rubbish in their bin and put the bin outside their room every day/when it is full, and same with their laundry, you can deal with it as you go.

Yes I have, I just don't care about the squabbles on here.

Making packed lunches was a waste of time, they binned them. If young people are in my home, I think its reasonable to do a quick clean and check of the rooms.

Yes.
Have you? Why do you ask?

Have you ever hosted foreign students ?

I think sometimes a standard pack lunch everyday is constricting when you are in a foreign country - sometimes teens want to try other things.

I remember our exchange student telling us not to bother with the pack lunch one day as he and some friends were going out at lunchtime to try the famous Swedish "doner kebab and fries" pizza. He seemed worried that I would be offended whereas I was fine - one less job to do.

I cannot believe you think going into their rooms is somthing you should do.

I have two spanish students. I leave their rooms alone as they are as entitled to their privacy as my own teen kids. It is,in my case, for a month. I wil deal with the room then. I am here to provide food and shelter not be in ther rooms.

How are they greedy when they are telling the OP she is giving them too much food? They are asking her to stop giving them all her 'fabulous' food. My guess is they're not keen on the food but are trying to be polite and asking her to give them less. Maybe other teens aren't keen on the food either and hence trying to palm it off on each other!! It's probably very different food than they are used to. Compare UK school meals to French school meals!

😉

It really has lost its meaning. My aunt worked with children and offered respite for short periods in her home. She was paid and I guarantee you nothing went to waste. They didn't have secret stashes of rotten food around the house or other people's food that's nasty. The girls sound greedy and entitled they are struggling to eat it all. Who leaves rotten food around their living space unless their nasty.

The irony! Mums are supposed to give you a right telling off if you do something wrong. 'Gentle' wtf

The gentle name of this site, Mumsnet, infers this is a supportive community. It’s the complete opposite and you’re contributing to it.

On the irony. Mumsnet has talk guidelines. You have had a comment removed for breaking them. On a thread where everyone else managed to converse without needing a moderator to intervene. That's your contribution.

(Not this thread, before you start a full caps rebuttal.)

ETA: Oops! Also on this thread. Perhaps refresh your understanding of the Talk Guidelines

I would talk to whoever their leader/student liaison is, about both the swapped food and norms for room cleaning. My SIL hosted summer language students for about 20 years, and is still in touch with some of them, years on, and I’m pretty sure they had to bring out their laundry for her to do, and she cleaned their room, changed bedlinen etc, weekly.

(For the last few years, though, she’s only accommodated the adult group leaders, who need less input — leaving aside homesickness, communication about food, cleaning etc , she had to deal with 14/15 year olds getting drunk and, on one or two occasions, being caught shoplifting. It got a bit much.)

Edited because 👺 doesn’t understand accents.

‘Si vous voudriez manger, mangez dans la cuisine ou la salle à manger, s’il vous plaît’. Nous ne voudrions pas encourager les insectes ou les souris!’

What am I reading, telling folks they are an awful bunch for putting you right whilst you start a thread about these girls and calling them disrespectful

yes they shouldn’t leave food out , tell them that, but they can eat what the fuck they please.

@lemonmeringueno3 exactly

@CleanCityBird nobody has invented things you didn't say. It's right there in the OP. You literally said.

"I'm annoyed that they left food to rot, it can cause all sort of problems. Im annoyed they have someone else’s food, and im annoyed because it’s disrespectful to my home. "

Maybe you should use proper punctuation if that wasn't your intention but since you complained about them not eating your fabulous food and generally being very huffy. I'll wager your initial post was correct.

You are a liar, trying to backtrack now that you've been rightly piled on.

I will repeat once again, since you're hard of reading and writing.

Rotting food = your concern. Rude. Causes issues. Must be stopped.
Other food = not your concern. Their right. Not disrespect. Keep your beak out.

Simples.

If they are part of the family should they not be cleaning their rooms? You wouldn't usually expect a 14 or 15yo's mum to go in their room to clean. Just a thought.

My mother was a homestay mum, I’ve been a student in homestays and I’ve coordinated them. Going into the rooms is fine. It’s part of your duties in fact. My mother would tidy the rooms, make the beds - basically everything. And provide 2-3 meals per day.

"Im annoyed that they left food to rot, it can cause all sort of problems. Im annoyed they have someone else’s food, and im annoyed because it’s disrespectful to my home."

I think these sorts of comments at the beginning of the thread are what prompted the critical replies.

Even though you are now saying that you are just curious about where the food came from, and concerned about eating disorders, and need to know if they don't like your food, you were initially annoyed and felt disrespected. That is an odd response to the situation I think, and the reason you've collected some harsh replies.

Presumably you've spoken to them about this by now. What did they say?

I personally feel that you should not be going into their bedroom while they are staying with you unless you've given advance notice and asked permission. If you are checking under their beds, that feels like an unusually thorough clean.

I have hosted students too and I did not go into their rooms without asking first. I would ask if they had laundry, or to bring out cups/glasses. I would offer to change the beds, or to give them fresh bedding. I would offer to clean their room once each week, or ask whether they'd prefer to do it themselves and then leave the vacuum cleaner and cleaning items by the door.

I don't know why they have food. It is rather odd because they haven't bought it or eaten it. If it belongs to another student, who doesn't want it, why didn't that student just put it in the bin? Presumably you have asked them by now. I would ask without judgment. Who does this belong to? Please put food waste in this bin.

You are saying now that you are just concerned about them, but that isn't the tone of your title or op. Initially your tone was cross, with talk of them disrespecting you. I think you would have got different replies if you'd started with 'I am worried about these children' instead of 'these children are disrespecting me.'

You’re called a “homestay mum” in my country. It really is essentially just boarding but with a more family feel. In the ultimate end, you’re getting paid to provide this service.

Do you know anything about billeting? The op is being paid to provide board including meals. She’s not doing it for free. If the children prefer each other’s lunches, nothing is being wasted. So yes, it is controlling of the op.