I want to be as tidy as my friend but it seems impossible!

I'm tidy, but I clean as I go, and try never to handle things more than once. For instance, if I take washing off the line, I fold it as I go, and immediately put it away. When preparing food, I have the food waste bin in the sink, and the peelings go straight in as they are generated. Shopping gets put away almost before I take my coat off.
I do it like this because I'm fundamentally lazy, and doing a thing in the moment removes it from my to do list!

Declutter declutter declutter!

Its the only way I promise, otherwise you’re fighting a losing battle.

So many great videos on YT and I also recommend The Minimalists podcast.

Bit defensive? Each to their own. Also

I don’t tend to come on these threads to say things like this as it’s not fair on people who it doesn’t come naturally to, I just do it

Why is it not fair..? You obviously think there's a superiority in living this way. Everyone's different, I wouldn't choose to spend my evenings the way you do.

I know a couple like this. Their secret is to do everything that needs doing straight away. Everything has a place. The children help to keep their rooms tidy. They never leave the house without making sure it's tidy and clean. I'm nothing like them.

Having less stuff is always the answer.

I’d be like that if I lived alone.

Between DH and the kids, it feels almost pointless because the cleaning doesn’t even last a full day. My dream if we won the lottery is to buy a house where I have my own wing
and no one can go in it.

When I had kids I did a ten-minute cleaning blitzes with my partner on a timer after the kids went to bed.

I limited the number of toys by removing those they weren't using and putting them in the attic - if they noticed, I'd bring them out again.

And as horribly painful as it is to enforce, and depending on age, putting away becomes an essential part of play.

Toys go in containers out of sight at the end of the day. Life is too short to sort them by colour.

It sounds like she just keeps on top of things. I find when I do this I can fly around and have a pretty clean house in a couple of hours, there's 7 of us here so that's good for me and I clean all my bathrooms daily. If I leave things for a few days it builds up, I get to the stage then of not knowing where to start.

Clutter makes a place look untidy dust makes it look dirty. Dishes left in/on sink makes a kitchen look messy.

Less stuff. Tidy as you go

For example Ds bath toys all fit in a lidded plastic basket with drainage at end of bath. He takes toys out bath whilst the water is being let out, so all toys out, and lid on tidy before he’s even out the bath.

I store shampoo etc in Bathroom drawer under sink. I take out, use bubble bath when running and back in drawer. Use the shampoo on his hair and then back. Only the soap live on view in dish.

It’s from having small spaces. I can’t above clutter so do have much, and use and away straight after. If I have to return and tidy it won’t get done as then I have other distractions.

Every drawer from clothes to toys to kitchen I only ever fill at 50% capacity. It’s it’s fuller stuff gets rammed in and a mess

Reducing clutter makes an enormous impact. If it takes more than a minute or so to put things away in a room, there’s too much in there.

When there’s less, it’s easier to find the will time to line it up prettily. It’s also easier to arrange things nicely if you’ve been ruthless and thrown away the empty shampoo bottle and paintbrush your toddler loves in the bath, and only kept the stylish toys.

I’m bad at the second one and allow my dh and dc to accumulate too much sentimental nonsense so my house is doomed to eternal messiness.

I don’t know why people say this. If it’s someone’s choice to do it and it’s important to them or they don’t mind then what does it matter? Once the kids are in bed often it’s too late to start watching a film and I would fall asleep in front of TV anyway so a clear up, bed, read a bit of a book, get a good nights sleep. What’s dull, what is it I should be doing? Out partying or watching love island? Obviously people do other things have a full time job. I like it because then the next morning is easier

It might not look like that all the time. My house is always pretty immaculate for visitors but much more chaotic the rest of the time.

Or maybe she has a completely fulfilling and busy, fun life but simply doesn’t leave shit lying all over her house behind her?

What’s this obsession with trying to put everything down all the time?

You need to have places to out the stuff or it will always be cluttered. If you don’t have a place for everything then get rid of some stuff.

OP my friends always comment on how immaculate my house is but I make a special effort when I'm expecting visitors. Its generally clean and tidy but day to day I don't worry about a few dishes left on the side, a bit of mail gathering before I sort it or a basket of laundry waiting to be ironed or put away. I don't think many people have a show home 24/7 without constantly being on the go.

I'm a bit like your friend but the thing is, I don't want to be. I don't enjoy cleaning. I just find mess (or what I perceive as mess) as anxiety inducing. I go to friends homes, see they're messier and would prefer that. Just food for thought.

My house is always clean and tidy, once you're on top of things it's easy to keep up. Small jobs every day are way quicker and easier than trying to do everything at once.
I do plenty of other things than cleaning.

I used to be very untidy and house was overflowing with clutter.

Be ruthless and reduce the amount of stuff. Charity shop all toys they don't play with or are too young, bin anything broken or missing bits. I have a Kallax box for each type of toy (Puzzles, Small World, Dress Up, Musical, Crafts, Dolls, Dinosaurs, Sensory etc)

Only allow one box out at a time and make them tidy it up before a new one comes out. My toddler will empty boxes in one huge heap if given chance so they live on top of wardrobe in guestroom (labelled).

Maybe she never does anything other than cleaning?

Do you really want to live like that? Sounds dull to me.

I have a friend like this. You can never catch her out, her house is always tidy.

I asked her and she said that she does jobs as she sees them, puts away etc.

I tried it myself and was knackered by the end of the day. I felt like I'd never stopped. So back to the mess and blitz cycle as it works for me.

Ask her?

Say I'm always impressed how lovely your home looks, would you please share how I can get mine like it?

She probably has less stuff or more storage. That's a huge thing with kids.

Where do you put your washing when it comes in dry? Where do you put your plates once they've dried? On the side to go somewhere or immediately in the right place? I think that's another failing of mine, I always procrastinate.

I think you've answered your own question there. She has less stuff than you.

Kids drawings etc are lovely to keep, but there are only so many that need to be kept hold of. Same with general "stuff".

If you ruthlessly declutter, it then becomes easier to clean and stay on top of things. Dana K White/A Slob Comes Clean has some good videos on youtube about the layers of cleaning. Doing dishes, a daily 5 minute pick up and not having clutter about makes the odd cleaning session actually far more productive.

Do you ACTUALLY want to be like that though, in reality, or do you just want your house to be like that? There is so much fun stuff I prioritise above cleaning, that my house could definitely be tidier. But I don’t want to spend my time that way .

(To add, I feel like I clean ALL the time, I wipe the kitchen surfaces all day for example but while I’m doing that mess is being made elsewhere - whether the kids do it or the washing machine ends so I have to sort the washing for example). I just keep on top of it to a normal level and have no desire or need to do more)