Friend let son (9) go to shop with no adult

It's not about their maturity. They can be mature and still have an accident.

Will your son have a simple journey to secondary in a couple of years ? If not, I think that this summer is probably a good time to start gently preparing for that as it will be the dark time of year too soon.

On own no I wouldn't be happy friend had let him but with their child I'd be ok with!

Well, I let my two - but they were road savvy and quite sensible. It depends on distance and capability of the child.

We need more info like the actual walk itself and time of day. Most children in year 5 (age 9/10) can do short walks like going to school or the shops but that’s obviously in areas with proper pavements etc

On that basis though you'd never allow your children to do anything, your link doesn't work for me so I don't know what the statistics show

Does the possibility of your child being abducted actually feature on your day to day thinking?

What about road accidents or falling off their bikes or having an accident while doing sport, the list of things that might actually happen more relevant surely, how do you manage day to day to cope with those?

I would let my own 9yo do this I let her go with her sister when she was 9, and alone at 9.

Someone else's 9yo, when I don't know how sensible they are? I wouldn't if I was in charge of them. (But 9yos ay out around here, so they appear in the garden for a bit then disappear)

Seems fine to me, I certainly gave my dc money to go and buy lolly's from the shop plus any friends at our house from about 8

Ds started going to the shop at nearly 8 and by 9 all the kids walk to school here .

Depends how far the shop is but this wouldnt particularly bother me. Have you taught your child dangers of crossing road/speaking to strangers etc?

Depends on the surrounding and traffic. We did but had to stop when massive renovation nearby had lots of trucks turning corners and scaffolding meant you had to walk on the road or cross a busy junction.

YABU

You know the cases that hit the news?

They hit the news because they are not normal.

I have been told I live a couple of streets away where a girl got abducted in the 1950s. Source is a friend of mine from his now deceased grandmother. (To be fair he told me about the case in the 1990s.)

I mean, randomly naming two abduction cases from over 20 years ago is definitely relevant to this thread and really helpful isn't it 🙄That's like me saying I'm never going to go on holiday abroad again because of 9/11.

I agree OP should have been asked but even if she'd been asked and said yes, it doesn't prevent child abduction does it??

What age do you suggest letting children have a bit of freedom @Happygogoat ?

They’re 9, of course it is OK. They should be out playing in the park themselves and going to the shop for ice lollies without coming back to check if it’s ok, so just going to the shop? Yes.

Tbf not everyone has an outside space to play, but for an average kid 9 is fine to go to a corner shop if there aren’t any terrible roads to cross. Plus his friend had obviously been on her own a lot so would know what to do.

Sarah Payne, Holly and Jessica….. Broad daylight and not alone. And those are just the notoriously famous cases that have stuck with me. There will be many more.

Its nice some people have this confidence. Even in nice areas it only takes one weirdo.

www.statista.com/statistics/303536/child-abduction-in-england-and-wales-uk/#:~:text=There%20were%20approximately%201%2C122%20child,compared%20with%20the%20previous%20year.

Either way, OP should have been asked.

DD is 9 and started going to a nearby shop by herself or with a friend this year. It's not particularly young I don't think.

He has never done this before.

Well he has now!

Seriously though, I wouldn't let this bother me. Clearly you trust your friend as a responsible parent, it's not like they're toddlers. I think from 8-9 you need to start letting them have a bit of independence and doing stuff like this. In literally 2 years time he'll probably be going to school / his mates houses / the park on his own all the time... It's good to ease them into it slowly and let them get a bit streetwise!

Mine were doing that at that age. It’s a good way to build independence. They also walked to school by themselves - all pretty normal round here. But it depends on the distance, the roads and the maturity of the child, and I would probably (but not necessarily) have mentioned it to the parent of any visiting child first. I suppose it would depend on how well I knew them.

We’ve recently started letting DS age 9 go to the shop on his own, wouldn’t let him take a friend without talking to the parent first. I literally waited on the doorstep yesterday for him as his air tag wasn’t working and is pointless anyway 😅 still in 2 minds about it clearly, but he loves it.

YABU unless it is in a foreign country

I would be fine with it depending on how far it was, what roads they had to cross, etc

She is probably so used to letting her own daughter do it that it didn't cross her mind it would be something she had to check with you about.

Were there roads to cross?

I would let DDs do that at that age (depending on the location of the shop, roads etc) but would have asked the other parent.

I remember when I was 8 (this was about 1984) we went to a caravan site on holiday and I was desperate to go to the grocers up the road (quite a busy main road but no need to cross) to get a few items on my own. Eventually my mum let me and I loved it. More recently she told me she had followed me but kept out of sight!

DD1 used to walk to and from school ("on her own") with a friend aged 9+ but I was 50 yards behind with DD2.

YABU unless going to the shop involves crossing a main road, or either child has SN that means they function below the expected level of a 9yo.