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Original poster

Help with school

32 replies

StrawberryShortbread2001 · 17/07/2024 12:38

My DD is in Y7 and has ASD. She doesn't have an EHCP as she was refused an EHCNA.

She was having an anxiety attack yesterday as she was scared of performing in Drama. I got her into school but we were late. Her lovely Learning mentor came down assessed the situation through talking to us/observing DD and put a plan into place - she would take her for a walk in the garden to calm her, then she could stay with her LM in her office over Drama. So this was agreed between DD, me and her LM and DD knew exactly what was going to happen. But when she was calm and happy with her LM the attendance officer decided to interfere and kept telling my DD to go to Drama. She made her unsettled and left her crying. Later when DD went to lunch she told her 'don't come back'. When she is meant to be able to go to her LM for support. I've asked to speak to someone about this, this morning as it was making it hard for DD to go in. I just got a message saying no one would call me and if DD didn't go in she would be marked down as unauthorised and referred to the attendance team at the LA!!

How would you respond to this?

[Edited by MNHQ to remove identifying information]

OP posts:
Original poster
StrawberryShortbread2001 · 17/07/2024 13:56

Is that any good?

OP posts:
Original poster
StrawberryShortbread2001 · 17/07/2024 13:29

Just to confirm what we discussed. You told me that despite LM making a plan with E that she could do work in her office for lesson 2 due to E's extreme anxiety about Drama you took it upon yourself to unsettle E by trying to make her go to Drama. You told me that you did that as despite E following the plan made by her Learning Mentor she was going to be suspended.

I have now told you countless times E needs consistency. Plans cannot keep being changed. LM knows this very well and is brilliant with E. My daughter doesn't even know who you are and you think it is appropriate for you to ignore LM's plan and upset and unsettle my daughter and make her cry? It is not appropriate. And it puts more barriers in place for my daughter in accessing her education as it breaks down trust. I would have thought this was blindingly obvious.

This is what I emailed after the attendance officer phoned me this morning to tell me it was her that upset my DD and that her LM's plan was actually to take her to Drama. This is what I mean by they lie.

OP posts:
Original poster
StrawberryShortbread2001 · 17/07/2024 13:23

HOY is useless anyway so the only person I can escalate it to is the Head.

OP posts:
Original poster
StrawberryShortbread2001 · 17/07/2024 13:20

jeaux90 · 17/07/2024 13:14

You escalate it.

Get a meeting with the HOY or whoever is next up the chain from the LM, and her form tutor.

My DD has ASD and ADHD I found face to face meetings useful for this and I would position it as a meeting about trying to avoid DD starting to refuse school.

It's also an opportunity to talk to your DD about sometimes having to do stuff that makes us a bit uncomfortable but finding courage through that fear is something you are really proud of her for.

After the school meeting you reply back on email summarising the discussion and make sure they have agreed to share any conclusions with DDs teachers.

I've had very little luck in escalating anything tbh. They just lie.

I've been asking for 3 weeks for a meeting as soon as we get back from summer and just been ignored.

And yeah, I already talk to her about that all the time as she really struggles.

I will just continue to pursue a meeting. They have Sports day tomorrow. Then it's the last day. I feel like refusing to move from reception until someone gives me a date for a meeting!!

OP posts:
Helpneeded1995 · 17/07/2024 13:19

Absolutely escalate it, email not phone and then you have a track of conversations.
Your daughter is going to have no trust in the school and end up school avoiding.

jeaux90 · 17/07/2024 13:14

You escalate it.

Get a meeting with the HOY or whoever is next up the chain from the LM, and her form tutor.

My DD has ASD and ADHD I found face to face meetings useful for this and I would position it as a meeting about trying to avoid DD starting to refuse school.

It's also an opportunity to talk to your DD about sometimes having to do stuff that makes us a bit uncomfortable but finding courage through that fear is something you are really proud of her for.

After the school meeting you reply back on email summarising the discussion and make sure they have agreed to share any conclusions with DDs teachers.

Original poster
StrawberryShortbread2001 · 17/07/2024 13:09

Bump

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