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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

sharing a bedroom as as 2 girls?

29 replies

sparklywines · 17/07/2024 11:49

We have a big enough house at the moment for a bedroom each but it's not a very big house in general, lounge is small and it's not a very nice area, by that I don't mean rough just there's not a lot here in terms of shops, parks, places to go, school.
We can afford a house in the nearby town which would be near school, town centre and lovely access to parks and things, it also has a bigger lounge and garden, however only a 2 bedroom.

Aibu to swap the girls having a bedroom each and expecting them to be happy sharing a room possibly forever for a bigger house with more going for it.
At the moment the girls are 6 and 8 and are happy to share but I don't know if they'll always be happy with this.
They often stay in each others rooms at the moment, they pretend it's a sleepover and will always be playing together in one or others bedroom.
I don't know which is best for them, their own rooms or a more spacious living area and more local amenities?

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JC03745 · 20/09/2024 20:23

Does the other house have scope for extension, loft conversion or garage conversion?
Would a room divider like this work?

sharing a bedroom as as 2 girls?
FreshStart2025 · 20/09/2024 20:13

I have 4 children and am going from them having their own rooms to sharing 2 and 2 following a divorce. Nervous but am hoping for the best! Nothing I can do about it so we’ll all just have to adjust. I think area is very important, I’d rather be in a nicer area, closer to amenities and green spaces.

ThirstyThursday · 20/09/2024 20:12

If move, but thoughtfully!

either huge bedrooms so dividing not such an issue, or a loft able to be extended or ground space for a conversion.

live for now, but plan for the future!

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 20/09/2024 20:08

Move now, enjoy the area and only take action about the sharing when it becomes a problem. By then you could save up a bit and look at a small ground floor extension or loft room or dividing the larger bedroom in two. Even a summer house or garden office could be used during the day.

CantConfessWontConfess · 20/09/2024 20:05

Own rooms!
My sister and I hated each other until we left home and I am convinced it's because we couldn't get away from each other, it didn't help that she was a night owl and I was up at the crack of dawn (we are still the same, it's just the way our body clocks work)
We actually decided we got along when we were 18 & 20 after I left home and we actually got some space from each other.

Vettrianofan · 20/09/2024 19:58

Mine are 17yo 14yo (both share) and 9yo and 7yo (share). All same sex. They enjoy sharing as they have company at nights.

SpanThatWorld · 20/09/2024 19:54

Two of my boys shared until 6 and 8 with no real issues. We were then able to give them a room each. Thank goodness.

Within a couple of years they grew into very different people and absolutely hated each other. Now they are in their 20s and still hate one another. It was hard enough when they were in separate rooms. The thought of having them in the same room as angry teens...

MimiGC · 20/09/2024 19:52

I shared a room with my sister until I left for university at 18. It was perfectly harmonious, neither of us suffered in the slightest. Would I have liked my own room? Yes. Did I need it? No.

Serriadh · 20/09/2024 19:18

How much bigger is the bigger living space? What would be your plan when they both have homework to do - would they have separate working spaces they could retreat to a bit? Does your current place have more bathrooms? Those would be my two main considerations for two teenage girls!

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 20/09/2024 18:59

What is the room plan? There might be options to divide the room up. I would probably aim for them to have separate rooms when they are 10/12.

Bohoboo · 20/09/2024 18:48

Daughters 17 and 14 and they argue all the time. Separate rooms keeps us all sane

Scottishdreams1991 · 20/09/2024 18:48

We had a choice between a 4 bed but crap area or 3 bed in a nice area. We chose the 3 bed but will give our bedroom up eventually when our boys can't share anymore. Could that be a option?

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 20/09/2024 18:47

A long, long time ago, most siblings did share rooms till they left home. You just got on with it - we even shared bath water once (yes once) a week! Better area and facilities beats own room imo.

Autumn38 · 20/09/2024 18:43

Own rooms. Teenage years will hit and they will be much better with their own space

JLou08 · 20/09/2024 18:39

I'd move. I'd rather be close to amenities and the children will likely appreciate that when they get older and want to go out alone/with friends.

sunsetsandboardwalks · 20/09/2024 18:36

Definitely their own rooms.

Stompythedinosaur · 20/09/2024 18:34

I'd go for having their own rooms. Privacy is so important for teens.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 20/09/2024 18:32

Own rooms

Comedycook · 20/09/2024 18:29

Tough choice but I think I'd opt for own rooms

HoHoHoliday · 20/09/2024 18:24

I would move. Quality of life over bedrooms. They are easily young enough to share and are happy to do so. Your life will be much happier!

Lindy2 · 20/09/2024 18:11

Any scope for a future extension or loft conversion to add an extra bedroom?

If the house and location was perfect in every other way I'd do it. Plenty of kids never have their own room.

There might be some teenage battles but, as a mum of 2 teenage girls, you're likely to get that anyway. If they're not arguing over their bedroom they'll find something else to disagree on.

I imagine they'll be happy sharing up until early teens. It actually then wouldn't be that long until the eldest potentially goes to uni. Obviously depending on long term plans.

I'd not turn down the option of a house that suits your needs for 4 - 5 years of the kids being a little cramped.

Dollshousedolly · 20/09/2024 18:09

What happens in a few years when they want to have their individual friends in, need somewhere yo do homework/study without the distraction of others, etc.

You’ll have posters saying I/my kids shared and never an issue - but when you don’t have to, it makes life more comfortable for everyone.

Aligirlbear · 20/09/2024 18:08

Their own rooms - they might be “besties” now but just wait until they hit their teens / different friends / homework / revision - it won’t be quite so harmonious a battlefield of teenage angst and rows.

I shared a bedroom with my DS and we fought like cat and dog as soon as we hit 11 / 12 and it didn’t subside until my older sis went to Uni. For family dynamics and harmony would keep separate rooms if you can

Differentstarts · 20/09/2024 18:08

I don't know what their called but iv seen on tiktok lately bedrooms divided by bunk bed divider wall things not ideal but seems to work. I would pick area over space

Hadalifeonce · 20/09/2024 18:07

My sister and I shared a room until she left home. We had no problem with it.
It really was the norm when I was growing up, (in the dark ages).