Feeling pressured to take DS' girlfriend on holiday

Yep, I stand corrected.

It's legal to marry at 16 in Scotland, hence Gretna Green.

You don't have to invite your son's girlfriend on holiday, it won't hurt them to be apart for a short while. You can say that you only booked for three and are now not able to add someone. It probably would be difficult actually. Say that next year you can book somewhere to include her.

They are very young, still at school, and going away with parents is sort of making a statement. I wouldn't be comfortable with it, there's time enough for that later on. However, I hope he enjoys his time in Italy.

Completely agree

Don't invite her. It's your holiday. Plus it's also precious time to spend with your 17 yo. I'm on holiday right now, with my 18 yo son. He's left his very sweet girlfriend for 2 weeks to come with us . At home I'm lucky if I see him for 20 mins a day. On hols I get to hang out with him. And I'm very aware that it might be the last time it's just the four of us on hols. 14 yo daughter here too. So it's also special sibling time too. Your twins will appreciate his company and remember it much more. Its very precious family time.

Invite her next year, they're already getting one holiday this year.

Does your ds want to invite her?

But if they're in a committed relationship I think it is better to treat her as though she is his partner. It's respectful to how they feel at that moment in time? I'm not saying get her added to the family tree/pass down heirlooms! But I think best to be as welcoming as you would be in 10 years with a serious girlfriend who does qualify for partner status in your mind.

It's setting a bit of a precedent for how future holidays will go so I'd think carefully about it.

I don't think you need to invite her at all. And I see why you might prefer not to -- for your own relaxation and also hoping to spend time with your son as part of your family unit vs him being with his gf all the time.

But I think I probably would (well assuming he wants her to come). Just because thinking of my own friends - the families I know that are still closest are the ones where the parents have always been totally welcoming to partners through the years - and obviously lots of those bfs/gfs have come and gone. I also think he'll probably enjoy the holiday more with her there and be more inclined to keep coming over the next few years.

Nobody's married at 16 in this country any more. Not legal now.

Ughhh do teenagers these days not embarrassed and why do the parents put up with it.

lucky to have a gf at 17? There are people married at 16. Some even stay married unlike many who marry much older.

I made a typo writing partner instead of girl/boyfriend in second reply (tired), ignore that.

My initial point was that for teenagers it tends to be a girl/boyfriend and not a partner, but didn't say older folk couldn't also have a boy/girlfriend. It's just that partner tends not to be the word teenagers would use.

I don’t understand what you mean. You said a teenager tends to have a boyfriend or girlfriend and so I asked at what point does that automatically become a partner.

Does your other half become a partner as soon as you turn 20 because then you’re not a teenager anymore?

Did I say only teenagers can have partners? I don't think I did.

If you turn 20 is an automatically a partner?

Oh for goodness sake are you bored this evening?

Yes, it matters.
A teenager tends to have a boy or girlfriend not a partner.

MrsClownland..

Girlfriend, partner.. does it really matter? The person he's with at the moment? I'm sure you get my drift.

You're not calling a 17 year old's girlfriend a partner, surely?

I wouldn’t be agreeing to my children going on holiday with another family unless either they or I was paying for their flights and at least a portion of the accommodation costs. I wouldn’t want another family footing the bill for my child. As for the noisy sex I’d have had words long before now and had firm boundaries in place. So many parents encourage almost marriage like relationships at this age, my DD’s BF’s parents did this and it was an ongoing battle until she eventually found the strength to get out age 23 because of the guilt she felt. I wouldn’t be taking her to Greece tbh. He can survive for 2 weeks.

This will
likely be one of the last family holidays you have with just the parents and kids. You don’t have to offer as it’s so close to the holiday now.
do you trust them not to be doing activities noisily while they are meant to be babysitting.

I would have a word about the noise if they are not quiet at home. Ask him how he would feel if he could hear his mum and dad going at it 😜

Of course a 17 yo is going to be happier with his girlfriend there..

@ohthejoys21

why couldn’t he be happy without her? They’re not joined at the hip !

We take our kid's partners away all the time, it's normal as far as I'm concerned. He's hardly going to be happy without her is he? Unless he gets on really well with his siblings. You don't even have to pay for her hotel room as it's an air b&b. You'll have a nicer time if he's happy and so will he.