Baby monitors/smart tech and anxiety

How big is the house you live in?

I stopped using my baby monitor, because I was so stressed with it (was it on, was it charged/plugged in/working) waking at all times if the night as our baby turned over.

Then I realised...I can hear him when he needs me…I don't live in a mansion, he is in the next room/ top of the stairs with the door open. He makes a noise, I hear him, without any monitor.

Getting rid of the monitor was a real breakthrough.

I have a standard Vtec that has a separate video monitor. I didn't want a WiFi camera as there's a risk those types can be hacked. My baby has napped in her cot since she was around 3 months. I've never stayed in the room with her when she's sleeping unless I'm sleeping too.

I’ve been a nanny for over 15 years, ime video monitor is imperative. Seeing if baby is stirring, resettling, playing etc is SO helpful. And being able to check in when they’re bigger and more independent is so useful!

jury’s out on the more breathing related smart options though, like anything- some love it and some hate it!

being able to talk through it has helped with a few of mine, and being able to move the camera remotely too would be other ‘musts’ for me.

I wasn't a fan, I was given one secondhand. My view was that whilst they're really tiny, they're basically on/next to you all the time anyway. I used it a bit, but I noticed I kept checking it so it was making me anxious. It was easier just to go in and check if they cried out.

If you do get one, don't bother with getting any sort of intercom where you can talk to them - the sound isn't clear and it seems to unnerve them.

@MereDintofPandiculation that's what we did, she was in the living room with us until about 10pm when we went to bed. She didn't start with a 'normal' bedtime until around 5 months and at that point we just went to bed with her, then started leaving her with a simple monitor after 6 months.

Everyone I know has a camera monitor but we have an old audio-only one and we've stopped using it. We can hear when she's awake. Perhaps not a popular opinion these days, but works for us.

Dont bother buying one yet. Baby won’t be aware from you for at least the 1st few months and will just sleep in the muses basket which you can carry up to bed when you go up.

once baby outgrows the noses basket and is at the stage of being in a cot instead and more easily disturbed by you / the TV and therefore you take them up to bed earlier than you go up. Then but one, save your mo ey for now.

but ultimately no I didn’t need anything more than a video one with sound.

We got a video one but as others said it was pretty redundant for the first six months! But after that it was handy when DD was in her own room for naps and night time - if she cried out I could check to see if she was actually awake or settling herself back to sleep (which they often do - babies are noiser than you think when asleep!)

Owlet is awesome. Has helped my DC numerous times when they needed hospital stays due to low SATs, without the owlet I'd imagine most parents would either not seek treatment or have it delayed, resulting in potentially worse outcomes.

Yes but that doesn't mean she can't spit up and choke on it or choke on some sick or whatever else might stop her breathing.

I also worried about her suffocating if she managed to wriggle under the blanket when she was still too small for a sleeping bag even though the blanket was well tucked in following safe sleep guidelines.

Anyway whether its SIDS suffocation or choking it made me feel better and sleep easier knowing if my baby stopped breathing I would be alerted immediately.

I wouldn't say that's ideal at all really.

We got one with a camera once the baby went in his own room at 8 months. I also didn’t want an owlet because I knew I’d become obsessed with it.

I like being able to see him in the night and if he stirs I can see whether it’s just a bit of a whinge in his sleep or a proper cry where he’s sitting up looking for us. We use this one.

www.mamasandpapas.com/products/vtech-vm5463-video-baby-monitor-white-297302700?utm_term=40360014872741&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADsD1Fbpb4CcY43U1ant_f7dqZYnm&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0pSa0LGuhwMVwotQBh36MwlFEAQYBCABEgL5SfD_BwE

She just sleeps in the moses basket in the lounge with us in the evening then we carry her up to the bedside crib when we go to bed.

I have a Nanit. I like the various features combined in to one and had no problem stopping using the breathing bands when they were outgrown. It's not totally necessary but I find it useful.

We had the angelcare breathing monitor with DS1 and will do the same with our second. It reassured us once we were going to sleep. We never had any false alarms either. Once he was 6 months and in his own room, we had a camera too just so we could see if he was stirring etc. I guess it all depends on the type of person you are if it'll reassure you or make you more anxious.

We have a basic camera, Hello Baby from Amazon, works well and does the job. Sound is rather low on it though. We also have an audio monitor and I actually prefer that! Don't worry about buying it before baby is born though as at first they will sleep in the pram carrycot or Moses basket etc downstairs with you until you go up to bed in the evening. We didn't start putting our baby to bed in our bedroom (slightly before us) till they were about 3 months old. The guidance is 6 months I know but by 3 months they just didn't settle as easily with background noise, but baby was obviously still with us overnight. (Still is now at 11 months but we do put her to bed by herself for the start of the evening. Now she's older I prefer just an audio monitor as I relax more without noticing her every tiny twitch, weirdly!)

Remember the people marketing this tech is creating a market through fear. We didn't have a monitor at all, they stayed with us until they went into toddler beds around 18 months

My friends had one that beeped with baby's breathing and having spent a lot of time in ICU with a relative on a monitor it seriously triggered my anxiety. For that reason I avoided all the fancy ones. We had a camera one but also a basic £20 audio one for when we stayed with my Mum or holidays. In the end we just used the audio one almost all the time and it was very freeing.

SIDS isn't prevented by these fancy monitors and the evidence of even sleeping in the same room being necessary beyond 4 months isn't strong. I read Emily Oster's book Cribsheet and decided to try not to let the anxiety get to me.

Just get a basic listening only one though two way can be helpful to say "go back to bed" once older!

We got a CUBO AI for DS - love it! Still using now as a toddler and works well for us. Would recommend 👍

@MereDintofPandiculation Yes, the liklihood of SIDS dramatically reduces when the parents sleep in the same room as the baby, as you said the baby picks up the parents rhythm of breathing.

SIDS can't be entirely prevented anyway, including with the use of a monitor, just reduced.

Just to say, there is absolutely 0 evidence that any of these devices prevent SIDS, because unfortunately, it is always too late. It is just to monitor and to attempt to ease the parent.

I'm pregnant and undecided, my logical head is saying the above, that having one cannot prevent SIDS, however my emotional side is saying well, what if?

Same here.

We have a smart sock on our baby while we sleep even though she's in our room with us so we know that if she stops breathing in the night for any reason the alarm will wake us up Isn’t the theory that they won’t stop breathing if they’re in the same room because they take their rhythm from your breathing?

I love my camera monitor but never used other tech. We needed to nap ours alone from about 3mo as they would not sleep downstairs and I don’t really want to sit in the dark in silence for 2 hours! The camera is also useful for the 2yo to see what mischief he’s up to now he’s free range 😂