DD 4 and a half constantly repeating her desires on holiday

Maybe attention seeking or needing a reaction (any reaction) as she's in a new place, new routine, perhaps a bit anxious?

I'd answer once then just ignore her. When she stops repeating it, reward her with attention and do one of her activities with her?

I believe it's important to instill discipline early on, before age 5, or it gets much harder. If you give in to repeated nagging or whining they use it every time they don't get their own way. Tell her no when she tries to get you out of the pool to buy goggles! Reinforce being appreciative and grateful, eg over breakfast talk about the plan and how she is to have such nice things to do. If she's anxious perhaps draw the plan on paper with her so she knows what's happening when each day?

I'm with your dh on this. Nothing empowering about her being vocal and knowing what she wants, do people really see it that way?
So when do you teach them to have patience, doesn't it start with the little things like this?
Or do you say on holiday you don't need to have patience but as soon as we get home it's back to that? I think 4 is the perfect age to start teaching her, although the responses here seem to think she's a baby who isn't capable of understanding a thing.

Grim, isn't it.

OP has said this is exactly what she's doing.

She's four years old.

I have a four year old (and older children). This is normal behaviour. They're somewhere new; somewhere exciting and still have very little concept of time.

Yes, it's frustrating, and yes, sometimes things need to be done before you can do other things, but getting cross, adding extra time etc is a bit unfair on a small child who is just excited.

Making the getting ready part of the fun is how we do it. Getting them to help do breakfast and find the swimming clothes, talking about what you're going to play in the pool, putting a timer on so she has a visual of what time she can go in and so on.

And...just putting up with it and ignoring it.

Yeah but OP probably needs to sort swimsuits, suncream, toys etc first 🙄

@JFDIYOLO

by that token then what about what op wants? Sounds like she wants half an hour or whatever getting herself and stuff together before heading down to do what daughter wants - pool. Surely it’s ok for children to see that others peoples needs and wants matter too and that compromise can be had?

I'm reading a selection of posts here on Mumsnet at the moment by women who don't feel they can state their desires and needs around how they're being treated, wanting to marry, wanting to end relationships, having difficult conversations with relatives and colleagues.

But here's a little girl who knows what she wants, is stating clearly what she wants, and is standing her ground and repeating it.

This is fantastic. Bloody hard work, yes - but fantastic.

Set the timer on her iPad so she can see the time counting down. Tell her to not ask again because you won't answer her. Ignore it from there and point to the iPad. She will get the message. It sounds like attention seeking behaviour.

Op might wanna put on a bit of makeup first - like a spf primer or waterproof mascara before going down the pool. I know what will blow some minds on here…

@WilfredDidNotStealYourSausages

lol where has op said she’s not gonna take her kid to the pool? She is, she probably just doesn’t wanna be in there the second she wakes up as some of you are suggesting!

It’s not unusual. Just ignore all the preachy liars, they’re out in force this morning. Some posters like to get their jollies and feel better about their own failings by being arseholes to posters who put their heads above the parapet and ask for a bit of help. It’s their problem, it’s not you.

The stupid fucking comments like this are hilarious.

iPad: useful for flights and travel, and educational games to occupy children for short times while essential activities have to take place.

Mumsnet mad posters: “seriously, throw that £1,000 electronic demon brain killer into the pool. Now. Take all your clothes off and make memories, not breakfast, you parental failure…”

Posted from iPhones and laptops at 11am in the morning from people who clearly don’t adhere to their own admonishments.

She is after yr attention, iPad etc isn’t a substitute for parents attention.

😂😂😂

Thinking now about family holidays I most remember - and so much involved water. The pool at the caravan site. In the sea with little brother and grandparents. The beach with parents and friends. Paddling in the river at Laleham. Water, water everywhere.

Stop worrying about her expressing her yearning for the water - and celebrate it.

Chuck your bathers on and get in there.

You'll tire her out so she and you sleep well. And she'll be learning confidence, strength and skill to be able to swim to safety if she should ever fall in.

You might find she starts to settle down. We went away recently and my 5yo started as a Duracell bunny and by the second half needed to be woken up from sleeping in so we wouldn’t miss breakfast. Can you shift her to staying up a bit later so she’s a bit more chill in the morning?

when we’ve done villa holidays, we’ve always done breakfast and then a long morning session in the pool. Mine have generally been willing to be much more chilled out in the afternoon than they ever have in the morning and they need to get out into the pool pretty quickly in the morning to avoid the nagging. We’d generally do breakfast, long pool, lunch and a bit of chill, pool again and then time to relax/quiet time before going out to dinner.

OP the pool and the swimming are the centre of her world during this holiday and it's great that she likes the water and swimming because if she didn't that would be a real problem for you to deal with and spend most of your holiday in the pool trying to get past with her, for her future safety and well being. If you didn't want her to be on about swimming every morning and prefer to do other things then why did you get a place with a pool?! 🤔

I'd advise getting yourself organised ASAP in the mornings, packed to go the night before, and get on with the swimming for goodness' sake. In the meantime while you really are doing the minimum to get ready, just give an autopilot response over and again without getting upset about it, while using the more sensible techniques such as the drawn plan to tick off.

(Afterthought: Why do you want a 4 year old to be on an iPad on holiday?!? Bonkers.)

@Moonshiners said

I don't tolerate whining. My kids are now teens and obviously it's impossible to get them out of bed

So you spoilt their childhoods with draconian anti-whine rules on holidays when they wanted to get up and out and doing things but now can't even get them out of bed when you want them to get up and out and doing things? That's worked well then? Hilarious. 😂

I'd either go to the pool or I'd tell her that there's a crocodile in there so it's a no go unless she wants to get death rolled.

This is why DH and I used to get different reactions from ds.
In your pool example I would've been , yes! I want to go to the pool too , come on let's get showered and dressed quickly, do you want to choose which trunks you're wearing? We'll have to have breakfast first so we've got energy for swimming, I think I'm going to have poached eggs what do you think you'll choose? Right mummy's getting in the shower can you get your clothes on and when I come out we'll brush teeth. Have a think about if you want to go on the rest slide out blue slide first. Etc. Cue excited 4 year old dashing about getting ready.

DH would sit with a cup of tea and say not yet, we'll go after breakfast, you're not even dressed yet, cue DS ohhhh but I want to go to the pool...... Whine etc , DH - stop moaning we won't get there any quicker, DS it's not fair I want to go swimming ad infinitum.

Both scenarios result in the same outcome everyone gets ready goes for breakfast and then to the pool, one ends up with a happy excited child the other with a whingey moany one, I know which makes my holiday easier. Buy into the excitement and show them you are moving towards the goal of being in the pool, it makes all the difference.

Also don't you get that feeling of waking up on holiday sun shining and being raring to go for the day? I don't go away to sit in hotel rooms.

To me that would be highly annoying, she needs to learn a bit of patience. I mean she can't wake up every day and whine about this when you need to get ready, or actually do stuff.
I would just say that we need to do X, Y before we go and any more whining means less time in the pool. Not sure why people find it so hard to set some boundaries with kids. Yes it's a holiday but that doesn't mean bad behaviour is ok.