DD 4 and a half constantly repeating her desires on holiday

We set Alexa for the grandkids when that alarm goes then so do we 😂

She’s little and excited, she’s also out of routine. They don’t work to times or understand time and they want it immediately. My youngest was like this, a proper water baby. We started making a big deal of getting up and packing our day bag with his help, bigged up eating a good breakfast with all of his favourites so he had lots of energy to swim and play in the pool. This worked well to slow it all down and make him think about the other things we had to do before pool time. It wasn’t easy but it put a sketchy routine of sorts in place which relaxed him a little. The breakfast thing was great because after a few hours in the pool, he would crash for 2 hours and we had a break. When he woke up he could have pool time then we’d go for dinner. It’s finding a balance they understand and it is hard when they are little and excited. It’s also important to keep boundaries in place when they become demanding from their lack of understanding. Plenty of distraction as tiring and repetitive as it is. My youngest is now 9 and won’t do anything until he’s eaten and will leave out his pool bits the night before so he can literally get up and out for breakfast.

Presumably OP would have to supervise her young DD in the pool. Which she can't do while making breakfast.

Fully agree that they have to learn, but taking away a half day in the pool (i.e. the greatest thing in the world to a 4yo) for very normal if annoying behaviour is a huge overreaction.

@CelesteCunningham lots of experience with young children. A 4yr old with no SEN is perfectly capable of understanding that if she keeps repeating, despite being asked not to, that there will be consequences for that. Then the consequences have to be real and visual. I'm not saying no pool at all for the rest of the holiday, but incessantly asking and not listening to a request to stop asking is enough to warrant a delay of half a day. We do our kids a disservice by not providing boundaries, and helping them to understand how to behave in polite society. They understand much more than people give them credit for.

Ah you say that now @Maraudingmarauders , how old is your DC? If you have one younger DC then 4yos probably seem practically grown but really they're very young, and very much in that preschooler frame of mind.

As many of us have said, it's developmentally normal for a 4yo to carry on like this. Not fun to listen to, and yes as parents it's our job to train them out of it, but that's not the work of a moment.

Threatening taking away such a big thing as going in the swimming pool on holiday for very normal if annoying behaviour would be wildly overreacting. Other consequences are available.

My parents wouldn't have tolerated it, and I won't tolerate it with my son once he's old enough to understand. They can ask once, maybe twice but after that it's "you've already asked and been told we are going after breakfast. Now please wait patiently or play one of your games. I don't want to hear it again". If she keeps doing it, either she's ignored for the first few times and after that it would be cancellation. "Because you wouldn't stop asking even when I politely told you to stop, unfortunately we can't go to the pool anymore this morning. If you can behave nicely this morning we may be able fo go this afternoon instead".
Go and do a different activity, like wandering around the local area or having quiet time in the gardens. It's not nice on holiday, everyone wants to have a good time but it's the only way she will learn and also YOU aren't having a good time with the constant moaning.

'its very worrying that you can't see the difference' 😄. oh come on with the judgey silly comments.

It’s not unreasonable to make her wait half an hour, or longer tbh if that’s what it takes/you need. She’s just excited and small children aren’t exactly known for their patience and good grasp on the concept of time! My son does this too, albeit he is younger. I just go into repeat mode too ‘I know darling, you’re very excited but we have to do xyz first. When we’ve done xyz, we can do abc’… it’s repetitive and a bit irritating but y’know they’re learning all the time and I don’t think an excited, enthusiastic child is a bad thing.

Heaven forbid a child should have to wait for an hour. Honestly what kind of people are we raising here.

Frustrating but normal kids behaviour on holidays. Also difficult if you've another child who doesn't like the pool & you trying to keep everyone happy.
Op explain & her to wait & try to ignore until a reasonable time -she'll probably calm down as week goes on!
Dh n I used to take turns getting up with young kids on hols least got some break tho often on my turn to lie in I'd just head out for a morning walk for peace!

Exactly. I'm really surprised to see so many people saying it's mean to make a 4yo to wait half an hour to get organised before spending all day doing what they want.

@sashh

op could and then daughter would have to wait while she packed up a picnic. Whichever way op does it , it’s gonna involve some amount of waiting. And that’s ok, that’s life, daughter will be fine!

She literally had to wait 30 minutes, if that, until we wanted to go to the pool. It's not unreasonable for her to start learning to be patient / impulse control etc. she's going to school in September. She's 4 and a half.

But that feels like hours to a 4 year old. I swear time speeds up when you get older.

Could you take breakfast to the pool? I don't mean in the pool obviously but a picnic while she paddles if there is a paddly bit.

As she was later diagnosed with AuDHD, I was smugly super efficient (having ADHD myself probably helped) - I organised everything the night before knowing that the moment her eyes snapped open, she'd be raring to go, so in this situation, she'd be up, doused in suncream, dressed in swimming costume, shorts, hat and swim shoes, goggles and water in her bag and ready to go by the time I'd necked a coffee and picked up my prepacked bag with everything I needed. Neither of us feel hunger in the mornings, so it always suited us to get on with the massive, exciting thing early (and before the sun got too strong) and then come out for food and shade/aircon later. I didn't think much of it at the time, but I was fairly impervious to the stream of consciousness that she emitted throughout her waking hours, too. It just didn't bother me to have her chattering away with her thoughts, plans, ideas and questions.

She was doing all the boring and necessary shit parents have to do in the morning. FFS. You people… 😂

Ad homininem argument does not a refutation make.

My ds waits.

I just think there's a time and a place and also a way to respond.

At home ds gets 3 strokes and your out.

Ask once - get your answer - usually "yes at this time"

Ask twice - get your answer "remember is said"

Ask a third time "no". When he says "but you said yes". I answer "but you asked again and gave me a chance to change my mind".

Not so much on holiday though because feelings are running higher and emotions are harder to contain.

@napkinbear you might find that school and having to follow stricter routine helps, DS is definitely different now than he was last September when he started reception. If you've tried every which way, she knows what the plan is, you just have to tune her out (easier said than done I know). Alternatively get up early sneak down to the pool with your book and let her dad deal with her!

So you're with flat out just saying no, doing what you want to do, without any consideration for how anyone else feels and just expecting them to 'stop it' because you say so? I don't want to be cooped up waiting around on a bright sunny morning on holiday so I understand why a 4 year old doesn't. Breaking down what needs to be done to get to the fun bit, involving them and engaging in what's exciting them doesn't seem like a bad thing to do to me.
DS has good boundaries and I'm often complimented on his behaviour.

Really?
My teens are ace. They are just typical teens who love a lie in. Even the one that liked waking up at 5am for the first 8 years of her life now will merrily sleep until 10am. We now have them around us all night. My telling them to not whine without talking it through other than a quick "enough or it will be longer" has resulted in 4 fabulous teenagers/adults who we get on brilliantly with.