Peri does not necessarily mean weight gain [Content warning added by MNHQ: mentions eating disorders]

Your options are too complicated before my morning coffee!

I looked for existing research into this and the weight gain is absolutely not a given. Even metabolism apparently doesn’t slow down if people stay active to prevent sarcopenia.

What changes is how we store fat, it starts accumulating on the belly instead of hips so it’s harder to “carry the weight well”.

From the evolutionary perspective automatic weight gain around menopause doesn’t make sense. We are designed to wither and fade away once our reproductive potential is gone, and fat is a difficult to maintain luxury when resources are scarce.

edit: typos

I think you need to be very very focused (to the point of disordered) to not change weight. My sister has but she is incredibly controlled / controlling about what she eats and over exercises.

I also think it’s only fair to say that you’re only 44, you’ve got years left for things to change. My menopausal belly seemed to turn up overnight at the age of 51.

I meant to add, I have many friends around my age, late 40s/early 50s. Many seem to be maintaining slim figures without any kind of serious dieting.

I'm 49, in the past I had a tendency to be a little plump (not fat, just well covered!). However I've maintained my weight very easily for years with 16/8 and doing 10000 steps a day. I hate running and I hate the gym but walking works for me. I also don't diet or count calories - I just eat whatever I want within an 8 hour window. Some days I'm pretty healthy, others days I'm not at all.

You have the peri with no joint pain, clearly.

i don’t think responding about weight matters is going to help the OP who has eating disorders.

My stomach is a bit bigger than it was, but I'm still size 8

I don’t really understand your post. You raise a number of quite serious issues - multiple long-standing eating disorders, excessive exercising, a justifiable fear of passing these behaviours onto your children - but what you are interested in is whether you’re likely to gain weight over the next few years or not? You refer to yourself as :

disordered
crazy
nutter
weirdo

that’s pretty harsh language. I can’t tell if your post is serious or jokey 🤷‍♀️

I don’t think it’s inevitable but I also think it’s really hard! I have changed shape (I’m thicker around my waist and thighs) and put on weight but my mum never did. I exercise a lot and watch what I eat but she never did.

Is this something that is really worrying you @irisetta ?

Well as we age we need less calories, peri or no peri. You don’t have to gain weight if you eat no more than your maintenance calories daily. If you eat what you like, don’t weigh yourself and suddenly announce you’ve gained a stone due to peri then you’re going to gain. As we get older it’s harder to lose weight as our bodies requirements change, so if you don’t want to gain you need to pay close attention to weight without going OTT. I’m 47, have some peri symptoms and have gained this year, as I had a leg injury but now I’m losing it. If I don’t watch what I eat, I gain so easily being so short in height

I am someone who is prone to weight gain, and have noticed no particular difference in peri. I was larger than this postpartum and during the baby / toddler days. I am a fairly effortless size 10 / 12 in my late 40s, which is fine for my height and build, and I don't restrict my eating. I've been slimmer than this, but only by starving myself and exercising a psychotic amount.

I struggle to maintain a bmi of 19 in peri. I weight train but don't do cardio. I read that it is the loss of muscle as we age that causes women to gain weight as we age. Through weight training I have increased the calories I can eat without gaining weight from 1600 to 2000 a day. I eat everything other than ultra processed food (I include added sugar, white flour and white rice) in that category and I limit bread other than rye.

Hormones are also key, I am on hrt which probably helps.

I’m glad this has stabilised- and well done for prioritising your DD’s health/ mh.

I think it's genetic and luck mixed together.. I have insulin resisitance. Apparently very common in peri menapause. I put on 25kg running half and full marathons, and going to the gym. That was calorie counting, clean eating, macro counting and every thing else inbetween to try and get the weight off. It wasn't from lack of trying or eating bad. My bloods were saying i was going to have a heart attack and i was pre-diabetic. On medication and now lost over 26kg, and only do pilates or walk. We don't hyper focus on it in our house as we did have a daughter with an eating disorder, i had to be very careful loosing the weight with her around.

I was a 6/ 24 jeans size pre pregnancies and I’m not at all short, just naturally fine boned in my youth. There is no way I could maintain that now ( mid 40’s) without a) obsessing and b) looking drawn and haggard!

Opposite of weight gain for me....So far Ive lost 7 and a half stone during peri (half a stone to go!).
I spent my whole adult life with depression, mood swings and binge eating disorder, thinking that it was just my personality. Turned out I had PMDD and now my hormones are settling I have a completely different and much happier personality!
I do eat very healthy and exercise alot but TBH its just what I like to do now so no real effort involved. Although I think your body shape does change (at least for most people). My waist has def gotten thicker, but I was very curvy to start with so I still do have some waist left!

How I feel too.

And I know several women who have made themselves ill trying - mentally and physically. I guess that has really put me off. One is so thin ( probably no different from her teens/ twenties but it no longer looks natural/appropriate) and she just looks so sad and miserable.

I‘m sure it can be done. But frankly, I don’t want to obsess about every morsel that passes my lips and I don’t want to spend all my spare time exercising.

This is true from my observations too. I do believe nature intends a slight gain.

I haven’t gained weight at all but I still measure bigger. It’s annoying. My ankles have thickened and I look awful in shoes - butt it’s not fat so there’s nothing I can do about it.

Well you already have disordered eating, so you will presumably continue to do that and that will control your weight. Your body shape will change (although again all your exercise will help) but you probably won't gain much, because you have an eating disorder.

The only women I know who haven't gained weight in their 40s are those who were already obsessive about food and exercise, or who started being obsessive to lose the peri weight gain.

Sorry to hear this @WeneedSamVimesonthecase . It’s awful to get stuck fixating. I really don’t think you are alone though. I think the women who go through menopause and keep their pre-menopausal figure really do have you obsess from what I observe.

Myself I have to wonder if it really is worth it, given we don’t actually look 25 ( or even 35) forever no matter what we do. It’s not honestly like at 55 you are going to be smoking even if a size 8. You can be thin, but that’s it. In fact it seems to me the women who age fastest in some ways are the ones who don’t “ soften up” a little. They can look quite wizened, I’d say be a bit kind and realistic to yourself. Joining in with family meals etc is such a joy. I was really struck by Michael Moseley’s death. I know his focus was health not vanity which is a bit different, but it did throw into perspective to me that eating ( aka dieting) because we imagine it will see us live to a grand old age is a flawed philosophy. The trick has to be live to the full and be happy. There’s no point being a size 8 in your coffin after spending the years obsessing about your waist. I mean this kindly as we all have to reset perspective at times. If it’s interfering with you just getting on with life, it’s time to loosen up. Of course there is a balance. There’s also nothing gained by ballooning to a huge size.

I don't think weight gain is inevitable. There's got to be some measure of genetics involved as well. Perhaps I am biased as none of the women in my family gained weight at that point, nor did I. What did put weight on me was getting hypothyroidism at 60 yrs old, but now that is better managed I've lost the weight again. I have never been into exercise or calorie counting, but do have a small appetite. Looking around me though I do see many women put weight on as they reach menopause, so I expect I'm an outlier.

Im nearly 50 and the same size I was in my 20s, possibly thinner - weigh 10 stone exactly and am 5’10. It can be done, I still eat quite a lot but it’s all really healthy and i don’t drink. I exercise a lot too (daily, without fail - running, spinning, weights) , but I really enjoy it and I love the feeling of throwing on whatever clothes I like and they always fit well and look good. I refuse to give in and lose my waist. I just eat well (and normally Eg toast for breakfast, nothing fancy) but don’t really eat any cakes, biscuits, etc - basically junk that makes you fat. I get annoyed when people say ‘but that’s boring’ - not as boring as no clothes fitting and feeling crap, surely?

That’s a lot of exercise. Do you have an FT job? I agree that exercise is a big part of staying in control without giving up everything you enjoy eating/drinking but I have only been able to do that after massively changing my job and hours, and it’s less that you - 5k run 3 or 4 x per week and/or weights at the same or 500m swim. Meno weight I gained during sedentary, stressful job in my 40s still not gone but I definitely notice the difference. How do you manage that much?