Anyone else noticing the uptick in open hostility towards people with ASD?

I have a diagnosis as do my children. Neither my parents or I did gentle parenting.

Can we stop blaming parents for better diagnostics please.

I’ve heard it all now. You are getting into behavioural therapy territory here and ABA, and that is controversial to say the least. I will say that parents like it because on the surface it makes their children behave more like NT people, but it doesn’t ‘get rid’ of the autism. You just end up with a traumatised child / adult. Maybe it could be helpful in cases of severe self harming behaviour and the benefit outweighs the risk. If you’re truly doing the whole gentle parenting thing, you parent with empathy, you’re not a pushover.

@Morph22010
But how would a similar child have been parented, and eventually behaved, a 100 years ago?

Is there a vicious circle with gentle parenting nowadays, that it makes it such that the child never modifies their behaviour ?

And it can't be all due to the lack of corporal punishment - surely, if you say that the behaviour is driven by brain features that are unchangeable, that wouldn't work either??

It’s not peculiar. In 25+ years of teaching and 10 of being a SENCo across several LAs, it’s always been a paediatrician who diagnoses as part of a MDA. Psychiatrists have next to no involvement with primary schools round here.

As I said earlier, it clearly varies by area.

https://petcheckurgentcare.com/signs-of-autism-in-dogs/

@Laughingoverspiltmilk we follow best practice and NiCE guidelines. There are clinics out there private and NHS who don't unfortunately. We have about a 60% diagnosis rate.

Similar (but not identical) in the second clinic I went to. First psychiatrist just did Connors and diagnosed!

As I said, I don't know the detail of UK private assessments: is your clinic the norm? I've certainly heard suggestions otherwise, but if that is the standard process private or not in the UK then I withdraw my comments on possible over diagnosis of ADHD in the UK (still definitely applies in the country I'm in and I've heard it raised as a concern by professionals because if a child has attention/hyperactivity/behavioral issues it's not actually helpful for them to be slapped with an ADHD diagnosis if they don't have ADHD).

For dla, high rate mobility (severe mental impairment) diagnosis is important as an autism diagnosis satisfies the incomplete development of the brain or state of arrested development of inteligenge or social functioning criteria and is shown via case law.

https://contact.org.uk/help-for-families/information-advice-services/benefits-financial-help/disability-living-allowance/claiming-dla-higher-rate-mobility/

However, I would expect that the majority of the children that qualify for this under smi are profoundly/ severely impacted by their autism

My ds has had dla (care) since two, blue badge/ high rate care and mobility since three and I would expect claim high rate of pip in a few years.

Autism I'd a disability which I would cure for my ds in a heartbeat given the chance, I don't see it as a neurotype or lifestyle choice as previous poster who compared to their sexuality. I see the comparison as quite an insult as you'd never compare someone who is I a wheelchair and the impact on their life in the same way.

There does need to be different diagnoses given

(Ds isn't diagnosed with learning disability before that gets raised - if that is an issue someone wants to raise then mh needs should also be a separate dx).

I think the difference between you and me, is that without an external party diagnosing me, I didn't have confidence that this wasn't all just an 'excuse'. I know people who don't feel they need a diagnosis and I can understand that approach. As I said in my post, I've never known an adult who strongly believes they're autistic not to be diagnosed - you know yourself.

I'm not so sure that's the case for ADHD as I think a lot of the online tests/content doesn't really go into enough detail and can lead to people self-diagnosing when actually they don't meeting the diagnostic criteria. Eg there was a previous poster who said she scored highly on an online ADHD test (and believes this is the result of trauma in adulthood) but she didn't have symptoms as a child - one of the diagnostic criteria for ADHD is symptoms have to have been present in childhood (<8?) and so that test clearly has a major flaw (to that PP - I'm not saying you're part of the problem (and I know that you said you don't think you have ADHD): the online test is! It's not helpful for online tests to incorrectly suggest ADHD, which might then stop someone looking more broadly (eg at PTSD)).

Equally for my DD, it's early days so I don't know how it will pan out (and she has taken diagnosis in her stride) but I know that without a diagnosis I had no chance of getting extra support for her and also I wouldn't have fully believed it myself. I know it will still be a struggle and I will still have lots of teachers who don't believe it (I know this because I have had the same with a lack of acceptance of 'an Ed Psyc assessment would find something on every child' for DS). Having a diagnosis for DD allows me to push harder without the worry of being 'that parent' who is making up diagnoses. For her, I hope it helps her to understand herself and accept herself better (although to be honest she's doing better than I was at the same age) and might help her recognize future crises earlier in the future.

I agree (I'm also from an ND family).

@Laughingoverspiltmilk in our clinic ADHD assessment is as rigorous as ASD. It includes

• pre screener
• Conner's forms from parent, school and self report (depending on age). We often get Conner's from at least 2 members of school, especially if secondary age or if they're just moved year groups
• end of school reports, especially if over years we're looking at symptoms pre 12
• full Neuro history
• review of other professional reports (EP, SALT etc)
• QB test
• full medical with paediatrician
• MDT between paediatrician and EP

We always send a pre screener which is reviewed by the EP. I've seen quite a few parents insisting their child has ADHD, even though the information in the screener is showing more likely ASD. They insist on ADHD (we're a private clinic) and their could doesn't meet criteria. Ime, especially recently ADHD is the 'preferred' explanation for their child's presentation. I think there may be 'less stigma' associated with ADHD but also they're often seeking medication, which cannot be provided for AsD symptoms.

People don’t automatically. Some disabled people, with any condition, may be eligible for DLA/PIP but there are no guarantees, it’s a negligible amount and really doesn’t compensate for the disability at all.

Unfortunately a lot of people are not qualified (although they think they are via Google) but very judgemental, usually because they are privileged enough to have no idea of the realities that so many others go through.

Just because someone knows someone who is assumed or diagnosed to be neurodivergent does not mean that anyone else is similar.

I've seen it all too. On some subs the only 'positive' way they speak about ASD/ADHD is in regards to those with it being "forced" to be trans. ND people are allowed to feel offended when people are being offensive to us, that's so obvious.

Anyone who uses phrases like "everyone and their dog has it" or "buying their diagnosis" is immediately showing themselves to be ableist.

Disability benefits are needs based, not diagnosis based. Quite rightly. Diagnosis makes no difference to eligibility other than the fact that a diagnostic report can be used as evidence of need. That is equally true of a report that doesn’t diagnose.

@Againlosinghope The stress can be horrendous all round! I am saying from my friend's point of view that it has been horrific being in a situation she has very little control over and parents not understanding there is only so much she can do.

She has had parents demand she pay for assessments out of her own pocket because they don't understand she doesn't have control over wait times and the limitations in budget i.e. one to one TAs, specialist staff etc she has been screamed at, threatened, abused online, followed in supermarkets, had to change where she shops, eats out etc because of various parents behaviour which has led to her having a breakdown.

Her role has been advertised three times and it has not been filled so is now being shared with another school until they can find a replacement. This will heighten more stress and frustration with families who are still waiting and the person who takes on the role. It's an all round awful situation for all involved.

The system is a complete mess and more needs to be done to support individuals, families but also schools and other organisations that are overwhelmed and under funded.

I claim PIP at enhanced rate. My dc get DLA. No apologies for that, we are eligible and it is a statutory entitlement, not a handout.

Those who have children with extreme autism do get disability benefit and rightly so. No hate here, I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for parents.

I can only speak of my own experience so I'm not saying that the things you talk of don't happen, just that they haven't happened to me.

I'm quite open about my diagnosis and find people are very accepting of it. I've never once had anyone mention benefits to me (I've never claimed any), or question the credibility of my diagnosis. Some people are curious and ask questions, and some just accept.

The only thing I find incredibly irritating and quite offensive is when people say things like everyone's on the spectrum.

However, it is true that higher needs children do require more resource than other children. It isn't a criticism of the child, but rather of a woefully underfunded education system I think.

OP, your own thread has proved your point. It’s so full of ableist comments that are upsetting to read as a neurodivergent person and parent of ND young people.

@Purplebiscuitwithsprinkles
A friend works in a Primary school and it appears every person and its dog wants a diagnosis for something. There is a huge shortage of Educational Psychologists and a lot of them won't do a diagnosis until children get to Secondary but parents still push and push.

My friend has decided that this is her final term as a SENDCO (going to start up her own business in nothing to do with Education) the stress has made her very ill. The behaviour of parents is abhorrent and the constant wanting EVERYTHING diagnosed and not understanding that things take time and in a lot of cases money the school doesn't have has broken her.

Of course we push and push. In our case the ALNCo was pushing and pushing as well. DS was having frequent violent meltdowns at home, I had three trips to A&E because of them, as well as being covered in bruises and scratches. We'd had police called out by a neighbour. DS was refusing to attend school, we ended up with the Engagement Team involved, social services involved, a Parenting Support worker, a TAF worker, OT assessment, CAMHS assessment. We needed the diagnosis so DS could be put forward for a place at a specialist ASD Unit in secondary school. No diagnosis, no place.

I was told by one of my son's teacher that I was being too polite, that I needed to push more. So I did. Spent hours on the phone to so many services and organisations trying to get help and support for DS. Had sheets and sheets listing who I'd spoken to, what they'd said, what we needed to do next. It was having the ALNCo on board that made the difference though, thanks to her work DS was seen in a year, rather than two, and has his place for September in the Autism Base. It's still going to be tough, but if we were still waiting for assessment now and he was having to go into mainstream secondary - where I couldn't even get a commitment for them to be flexible over uniform - we'd be looking at definite refusal to attend school, and more trips to A&E/ police being called out.

Diagnosis was done by a paediatrician, not an Ed Psy, don't think we ever saw an Ed Psy, though they might have been involved at one point.

Totally agree OP.

And the whole 'bought a diagnosis' narrative is so offensive. If you have a private GP and get a diagnosis of depression or diabetes have you 'bought a diagnosis'?! Or is it only not ok for neurodivergent people who've struggled all their lives?
Makes me very cross!

For me, the reason it doesn’t need a diagnosis is because it isn’t an illness, it’s a neurotype.

I’m autistic. Diagnosed. I’m also gay. I didn’t need to be diagnosed as gay. I didn’t need an assessment to prove that my apparent gayness wasn’t a result of something else. I didn’t need a professional to tell me what I knew about myself.

Being gay is a protected characteristic, it is a minority group who are discriminated against and disadvantaged in many circles. But it isn’t a problem or a deficit.

I do identify as having a hidden disability, but i don’t see autism as a deficit, and i wouldn’t change it. Both things can be true at the same time.

Access to diagnosis is an issue. The wait for children in my local area is now over five years. They still need accommodations and support, and to be able to understand themselves, in that time. Not having a diagnosis doesn’t make someone less autistic.

Yes. A lot of people, especially on here, are profoundly ignorant and just plain horrible towards autistic people. They dress it up as ‘discussion’ to enable them to spout their ignorant, nasty views and MN always allow it. Even on another thread, we’re not allowed to be offended or respond in an offended way because now apparently we’re the same as trans activists. 🙄. Discussion does NOT need to offend someone. It can be respectful and inoffensive if people want it to be…..but they don’t.

This is incredibly ableist. Unfortunately I have people in my family who’d probably say the same about me.

No official credentials but I am (late diagnosed) AuDHD, and have DC diagnosed in their teens with AuDHD/ADHD as well as a partner with (late diagnosed) ADHD. All private diagnoses (because I'm not in the UK and that's the only option).

First, "autism is a superpower" drives me completely and absolutely nuts. I haven't met anyone diagnosed with autism who considers it a superpower. These people must exist I'm sure but they're not people I now.

Second, I just don't believe you can buy an autism diagnosis unless we're talking about medical professionals who allow themselves to be bought (i.e. malpractice) which is a different thing entirely. I also haven't yet met an adult who is reasonably certain they're autistic who hasn't had that confirmed on a diagnosis (they must exist but I think rare). I think when you're talking about yourself you do know. It took me 10 years to go for diagnosis and the push was being in autistic burnout following the end of covid working from home (i.e. similar to the impact of return to school post covid on ND children a previous poster mentioned). Parents can be wrong though (they're working on observed behavior and don't actually know how their child thinks/feels), and I suspect it's fairly common that a parent thinks their child has autism, but actually they don't. I say this because I myself was that parent! I thought both my children were autistic, but I was 90% certain on DS, and on the fence on DD. DS isn't autistic: ultimately he doesn't have social communication issues (diagnosis was primarily 'he's a teenage boy' :)). DD is autistic. Ultimately, as someone who is autistic myself, I don't know what not-autistic really looks like. Stands to reason that someone non-autistic doesn't know what autistic looks like (absent professional training). Interestingly, my DS himself was strongly resistant to the idea he was autistic - i.e. he knows himself better than I know him (shock horror). Also interestingly, the psychologist said that they had never seen a better set of teacher feedback than they got for DD i.e. school not just missed it but completely and utterly missed it.

Third, personally, I do think that an ADHD diagnosis can be manipulated. There's not the same cross-functional approach to assessment as for autism. I can't comment for sure on the UK private assessment protocols, but my son's first ADHD diagnosis was made by simply asking him the questions on the questionnaire. Parents weren't asked to complete and there was no assessment by an independent party (eg school). Given that both children and parents don't know what 'normal' really is for an age, I do believe that I could easily have gotten the first psychiatrist to diagnose even if DS was NT (he was diagnosed again through an more intensive process when we assessed for autism). As I said, I don't know how it works in the UK, but I do personally believe there is over diagnosis of ADHD. I'm not even convinced I have it myself rather than having sub-consciously known what to say on the questions.

Fourth, bullshit an autism diagnosis doesn't help anyone. It's not magic but understanding yourself and knowing that your reactions aren't just because you're a bad person who is failing at life is massively valuable. The big things for me were stopping the obsession about whether I was or not, and helping me to recognize that I needed to allow myself leniency when recovering from a meltdown or similar. It's brought it's own problems in some ways as I'm working on accepting that I may have actual limits in reality that I can't force myself through by just working harder, but overall it has definitely helped. Obviously being autistic isn't an excuse for being a horrible person.

Fifth, I don't think I'd say autism is being diagnosed instead of mental health disorders. If anything it seems more common for adults with a long history of (diagnosed) mental health issues to be late diagnosed with autism, which often is a triggering factor for anxiety and depression in particular.

And finally, to go back to the original question - I think that the potential over-diagnosis of ADHD/uptick in people self-diagnosing as ADHD or other ND (or the trend that will hopefully die a death that you can somehow identify as ND) is fueling the fire that all ND is over diagnosed and that includes autism. People who have talked to friends/family about ADHD assessments don't realize how much more involved an autism assessment is. Even on this thread we've had people think that their experience of an ADHD assessment is somehow relevant to an autism assessment. Parents holding out that their kids are autistic without any form of assessment (and I do understand the waitlist issues) is also problematic because some of these kids have other issues or it actually is (shock horror) a parenting issue, particularly with over reliance on screens for children under 2. Again we've seen on this thread people refusing to believe that it is actually common for parents to be wrong. I hate the fact that all ND tends to get lumped into one bundle as if it's somehow all the same. And then we get back to the stupid 'superpower' type language! And don't get me started on 'neurospicy'...