Anyone else noticing the uptick in open hostility towards people with ASD?

Some ND children need a low demand approach, which people who don’t get it tend to see as permissive or being spoilt.

Wow. I have no words for what a vile comment that is.

This is a challenge for sure, and it’s even difficult within one family of ND people who have conflicting needs.

They absolutely do, because it absolves them of any responsibility for the childs behaviour in their eyes! I don't understand why people refuse to grasp the fact that many parents do this!

I understand wanting some respite as I don't get any either. But I wouldn't mind having something to do with my DC as they can't access any of the holiday clubs/activities but if I was there they could maybe be able to access something.

@Morph22010 because paying a DR to say whatever they want him to say is far easier than taking a long hard look in the mirror and facing up to the fact that they are shitty, selfish parents! They had him diagnosed because he was constantly misbehaving at school ( still is but now their answer to the teachers is " well its his ADHD"). Child has now cottoned on to this and his behaviour and general rudeness is far worse because he doesn't think anything is his fault!

That's a weird take, as medical professionals specialising in ADHD care emphasise the need for very clear and strict boundaries and how important routine is for children with ADHD.

Poor or neglectful parenting does def cause behavioural difficulties in children. But I just don't believe that the same neglectful parents then spend thousands of pounds to get their child diagnosed as autistic/ASD. The parents who do that on the most part are responsible parents of struggling children who are doing their best for them.

But noone is going to make them parent with boundaries anyway?

It is very sad. The number of students with ADHD, anxiety, ASD, mental health assessments certainly significantly increased in my last school. The SEN department was under siege, parents all wanted extra support/allowances for their child but there was no more funding and allowances did lead to accusations of favouritism towards some pupils ‘just because they have special needs’.

many parents pushed for diagnosis to support exam considerations for GCSE or A level. I know a few who ‘gamed the system’ and a couple who did it for a Merlin pass.

The same is happening with therapy dogs. Plenty of idiots claiming their dog is a support dog but it is untrained and not an official therapy dog.

People see some people having an ‘advantage ‘ so they want it too. For some it is envy without true understanding

in the end ‘no-one will be special’

Every child has the right to an education. What are people proposing; kids with ASD just don't go to school? They're too inconvenient?

You wouldn't say 'oh, it's going to cost too much to make physical adaptations to a building so tough'.

Many many adaptations are no cost or easy to do. In DD's previous school they were obsessed with 'weaning her off' her noise canceling headphones. I mean why? Just let her wear them. Why does it matter, apart from your discomfort it looks a bit odd?

When she moved schools she actually needed to use them much less because the teacher had a good grip on behaviour and classroom noise levels. The school leadership was much better and they had a behaviour strategy that worked, despite it, on paper, being a more challenging school. Good leadership and teaching benefits all kids. Both the non-ND 'naughty' kids and the kids with ND who need a calmer environment.

I work with lots of ND people and am really happy to make small adaptations in how I work and communicate to work together effectively. They are making enormous adaptations every minute of every day, I can draft my emails a bit differently.

I've always been pretty open with other parents about her diagnosis; this thread makes me wish I hadn't. I guess I thought people would act like the adults I work with in a professional environment, but no. Clearly not.

Ah, I see, thanks. My DD would never be able to access anything like this, anyway. That was a shame for your son it was after his bedtime - seems an odd time for a group!

Just to be clear - you are saying that there are a number of private providers who diagnose autism based on scant information? I find that interesting, it's not something I've heard before about autism assessments.

Depends where you are, unfortunately. My local authority say the short breaks are for the family, which means I don’t get any respite over the summer holidays.

Because for some parents, paying 2k for an adhd diagnosis is easier than putting the life long commitment into parenting with boundaries.

I guess that's because of where I experience the hostility and I agree it is because there isn't enough to go around. In my experience it's easier for services to provide access for those who don't need much to accommodate them and then they can tick the box.

Now my ds is older is is clearly disabled most people are very kind/ pleasant to him (meaning general nt people). It's those who aren't as impacted who want x,y,z accommodation because they see he has it not always because its needed or those who class autism with severe mental health needs as severe autism.

My ds can't access short breaks either however we do have a pb to cover 2:1 support so he can go out while we have some rest.

As part of my job, I have seen hundreds of private reports. There are some private providers who diagnose based on scant information. However, they’re a minority. I recognise this is problematic but in the grand scheme of things, it isn’t the cause of the rise of diagnosis. It was rising anyway, it would rise without these unethical private professionals who prey on vulnerabilities of others to line their pockets. People use the minority of bad professionals to pass comment on an entire group. Plus, many of those shitty “pay on the day and get your diagnosis” professionals will reach the same conclusion as ones who do the thorough assessment process.

It's things like clubs for children with disabilities. So they get play/leisure opportunities. It might be a once a week after-school club in a special environment with carers, or one day in the summer they put on a sensory play day.
Bit like respite.
We were offered a club that was after my sons bedtime.

How was it obvious from my initial post she had been sexually assaulted?

A sexual assault is different from a dx and lack of support. Without the assault she would have got to the end of year 2, despite her dx and lack of support. The nature of the assault would have a ND student back at home. She is back home because of the assault not because of her dx. Would she have coped if she had not been ND? She wasn't given a chance to. Uni sent her home, didn't suspend him mid way through her academic year. For 6 weeks of an 8 week term. Denied her access to seminars online etc. She wasn't given a chance.

How do you know this? I'm curious how you can be so certain given ADHD is highly genetic and a dysfunctional home life can actually be caused by a parent with undiagnosed ADHD themselves. I'm guessing you're a professional clinician in the diagnostic space to be able to be so sure the diagnosis was 'bought'.

Also - I really wish people would stop talking about ADHD and ASD as if they're inter changeable. Yes some people have both but they are in fact very different disorders. Those 'these are symptoms of ADHD' TikTok videos describing traits that are not any part of an ADHD diagnosis have a lot to answer for.

If they are such awful parents why are they shelling out hundreds if not thousands for a diagnosis, why don’t they just spend it all on fags and beer

The problem is when people have competing needs its difficult to accommodate them all equally and fairly. For example, in my small office of 5 staff we had one person who wanted the lights dimmed but another with poor eyesight that needed the lights on full. One person had Raynauds and needed a heater while another was going through menopause and sat with a fan! I can't imagine trying to organise this in an environment with thousands of people.

What even is a LA short break offer??

It's an interesting take. Most of the thread has been about why NT people feel hostile towards people with asd. But your examples are mainly why people with other disabilities or impacted differently by the same disability feel hostile.

That really has to stem from fighting over meagre resources.

My ds couldn't access a theme park or the la short break offer so I've been oblivious to all that.

👏👏👏