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AIBU?

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How sick would you have to be to not attend a wedding?

37 replies

hotmammamia · 16/07/2024 21:57

Just that really, very burnt out and stressed recently. Would be signed off work if I could afford it… there’s a family wedding that I’d LOVE to attend next week, outfit picked and everything but I’m not superrrr close to the people getting married. Really not sure that I’ll last all day at a wedding but also don’t want to let anyone down and look weird for not going. Please feel free to tell me to pull myself together and go!

OP posts:
FlumpInSlump · 16/07/2024 22:05

Hey OP, I’ve been where you are and also couldn’t afford to be signed off. I think you should try and go if your symptoms aren’t too bad on the day - it may energise you seeing people / having a distraction. Can you leave early say after the meal if needs be? Also if it does come to it, don’t worry, people get ill there’s always on the day drop outs!

middleagedandinarage · 16/07/2024 22:04

Sorry but pull yourself together and go 🤣 You don't have to stay all day, leave after the meal. If you drive you could go sit in your car for a bit between the ceremony and meal.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 16/07/2024 22:04

I’ve missed one. That was because I was on day 5 of having diarrhoea that no mediation seemed capable of stopping.

in your situation I’d go to the ceremony and beginning of the celebrations then head off at a decent time.

hotmammamia · 16/07/2024 22:03

SummerFeverVenice · 16/07/2024 22:03

Oh just go! It’s the kind of thing you will enjoy once you get there.

You don’t really believe that people only get signed off sick when they can afford not to work do you? Very off thing to say.

Goodness! I really didn’t mean it like that at all was just making reference to my own personal circumstances… sorry if I offended!

OP posts:
Babyboomtastic · 16/07/2024 22:03

I wouldn't go if:

  • I had something obviously highly contagious, being a normal cold. So I wouldn't go if I had the flu, covid etc if I was still feeling unwell with it.
  • broken bones to the extent I wouldn't be able to get there
  • non contagious but frequent D&V
  • a series illness or hospitalisation

I would go if:

  • I had a cold but felt relatively okish with lemsip and affect spluttering over everyone. If I could battle through work, I'd go to the wedding.
  • feeling tired, burnt out, depressed.

So in your situation I'd go. Sorry

macaroniandcheeze · 16/07/2024 22:03

Revolting to see/hear or contagious are the only acceptable sickness reasons

SummerFeverVenice · 16/07/2024 22:03

Oh just go! It’s the kind of thing you will enjoy once you get there.

You don’t really believe that people only get signed off sick when they can afford not to work do you? Very off thing to say.

hotmammamia · 16/07/2024 22:01

Thanks for your responses! I should have added that this stress has manifested itself physically as near constant vertigo and shaking extremities too which is annoying. But I guess the reason I asked is because deep down I agree that I’m being unreasonable🤣

OP posts:
SummaLuvin · 16/07/2024 22:01

Not really the point, but presuming it’s a relatively traditional wedding your food will have been paid for, so pulling out at this stage is not ideal for the couple. Why not go with the aim of seeing the ceremony, speeches, and having the meal which should all be over by 7pm, then leave if you feel burnt out. I often find the idea of going is much more stressful than actually going in these circumstances

TheChosenTwo · 16/07/2024 22:01

You don’t have to last all day, go and show your face during the ceremony and sit down dinner and head off soon after the first dance. I mean this nicely but if you aren’t mega close to the bride and groom they won’t notice (not that you’re not lovely or important to them but because they’ll be seeing and chatting to so many people all day).
you could be done by 7:30. Could even slip away after the dinner.

Starlingexpress · 16/07/2024 21:59

You don’t have to last all day-go for the ceremony and the meal, then leave early. I don’t think it’s reasonable to pull out of a wedding this late in the day.

JustMarriedBecca · 16/07/2024 21:58

I'd be annoyed if you pulled out. Burnt out and stressed aren't a reason for missing something you already committed to.

You can go, celebrate with the couple but not have a late night / not drink and have a hangover etc.

It may do you good.