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Original poster

3yo DD keeps saying something really weird

183 replies

Pancakepipsqueak · 16/07/2024 21:13

I have a 3 year old (4 in sept) who I shared 50:50 custody with my ex.
she’s started a weird exchange a few times that goes
“hey mummy, guess what”
”what”
”AIDs” then she’ll giggle.
my response is always “that’s an odd thing to say?” Or something similar. Tonight I texted my ex about it and he said “yeah 😂”
turns out he’s been saying it to her? I’ve said I don’t find it appropriate and wouldn’t want her saying it to the childminder or other children. He called me “moral high ground grand wizard” and attacked me basically.
I will say, he’s a teacher, we’re 33. It just seems like such a juvenile joke that isn’t appropriate and is offensive?
was I BU bringing it up? Am I overreacting and this is hilarious?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pancakepipsqueak · 16/07/2024 21:44

ChampagneLassie · 16/07/2024 21:39

I feel so embarrassed for him. And you. And your poor DD. Agree with gently explaining why it isn’t funny. I mean couldn’t he have stuck with poo or bum or something?

i wish. I call her a trumpaloompa when she trumps so she’s started saying that which I do find funny (I mean, i might be immature for laughing at a trump joke but hey ho) but at least it’s not downright offensive?

OP posts:
JockTamsonsBairns · 16/07/2024 21:43

I don't think I get it? AIDS, as in the terminal illness prevalent in the 80s/90s?

How is saying "AIDS" funny?

Original poster
Pancakepipsqueak · 16/07/2024 21:42

Combattingthemoaners · 16/07/2024 21:38

How is that remotely funny? Would he do the same thing for cancer? Are there undertones of homophobia as to why he finds AIDs in particular to be a “funny” disease?

I did basically say to him I wouldn’t find it funny with any other illness or condition so I’m not sure why it’s funny with AIDS. He’s never seemed homophobic; I wouldn’t stand for it one of my best friends is a gay man. I think it’s more teenage boy level immaturity. But it did cross my mind

OP posts:
ChampagneLassie · 16/07/2024 21:39

I feel so embarrassed for him. And you. And your poor DD. Agree with gently explaining why it isn’t funny. I mean couldn’t he have stuck with poo or bum or something?

WhatMe123 · 16/07/2024 21:39

Eh? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Combattingthemoaners · 16/07/2024 21:38

How is that remotely funny? Would he do the same thing for cancer? Are there undertones of homophobia as to why he finds AIDs in particular to be a “funny” disease?

roundspongecake · 16/07/2024 21:31

MounjaroUser · 16/07/2024 21:24

You say he's a teacher - how's he doing 50:50?

As for the so-called joke, I'd be furious at that. If her childminder brought it up then I'd be happy for her to speak to him about it and I'd hope she'd come down on him like a ton of bricks.

Same as any other working parent??

SummerDays2020 · 16/07/2024 21:31

Oh god. Must be a rubbish school if they'd employ the likes of him. Poor students.

GonnaBeYoniThisChristmas · 16/07/2024 21:30

It’s disgusting of him to use your daughter as his proxy wind-up merchant for a sick joke. I am so pleased for you that you’ve separated.

WittyFatball · 16/07/2024 21:28

MounjaroUser · 16/07/2024 21:24

You say he's a teacher - how's he doing 50:50?

As for the so-called joke, I'd be furious at that. If her childminder brought it up then I'd be happy for her to speak to him about it and I'd hope she'd come down on him like a ton of bricks.

Are teachers not allowed to be single parents?

MounjaroUser · 16/07/2024 21:28

Pancakepipsqueak · 16/07/2024 21:25

Sorry I don’t understand your question about 50:50? We do Saturday to Saturday - she had childcare when we’re at work?

Show quote history

OK sorry, I was just wondering.

Your ex is an immature idiot. I can't imagine that's gone unnoticed at his school.

Beth216 · 16/07/2024 21:27

My god how offensive to teach your little kid that Aids is funny. What a dick.

purplecheesecat · 16/07/2024 21:26

Not appropriate at all and even less funny. A grown adult man should know much better and not treat his toddler daughter this way!

roundspongecake · 16/07/2024 21:25

How is that even funny?

I'd buy your kid a joke book - they are going to need educating in proper humour

Original poster
Pancakepipsqueak · 16/07/2024 21:25

MounjaroUser · 16/07/2024 21:24

You say he's a teacher - how's he doing 50:50?

As for the so-called joke, I'd be furious at that. If her childminder brought it up then I'd be happy for her to speak to him about it and I'd hope she'd come down on him like a ton of bricks.

Sorry I don’t understand your question about 50:50? We do Saturday to Saturday - she had childcare when we’re at work?

OP posts:
Sev3nWonders · 16/07/2024 21:25

I don’t get what’s funny about it at all? I’ve read his wee “joke” about 6 times now in your op and still don’t get the punch line??? How does that even come into his head in the first place as being remotely funny?!

Original poster
Pancakepipsqueak · 16/07/2024 21:24

IglooLists · 16/07/2024 21:21

I have a 4yo. If he came home repeating this "joke", regardless of where he'd picked it up, I would ask him what he thinks AIDS is, and explain to him that it's a really horrible illness that many people have died from, and tell him that I think it's really strange and unkind that [whoever] thinks it's funny.
Depends on your DDs temperament and understanding but that would be enough to take the humour out of it for DS. A long lecture, or getting cross, would probably make him do it more.
And yes, your ex sounds incredibly juvenile. 33 years old FFS 🙄

good idea, I’ll go for that approach in the future. She’s a sensitive soul so I think it would work going for the more softly “this is why I don’t find it funny”. An annoyed lecture or getting cross wouldn’t sink in.

OP posts:
MounjaroUser · 16/07/2024 21:24

You say he's a teacher - how's he doing 50:50?

As for the so-called joke, I'd be furious at that. If her childminder brought it up then I'd be happy for her to speak to him about it and I'd hope she'd come down on him like a ton of bricks.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 16/07/2024 21:23

There's being down with the kids and then there's being less mature than the kids...

Temporaryname158 · 16/07/2024 21:23

I’d sit DD down and explain AIDS is an illness that killed lots of people and that it isn’t funny and that she could get in trouble for saying it. She may not understand but at least you’ve tried.

when she tells you this ‘joke’ just remain deadpan. Your ex obviously laughs when she says it.

Original poster
Pancakepipsqueak · 16/07/2024 21:22

Needmorelego · 16/07/2024 21:21

@Pancakepipsqueak ok so that is weird.
Why on earth is he doing that?

He finds it funny? That’s it.

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 16/07/2024 21:21

@Pancakepipsqueak ok so that is weird.
Why on earth is he doing that?

Seas164 · 16/07/2024 21:21

Jesus Christ alive. What a weirdo. That is so disturbing.

IglooLists · 16/07/2024 21:21

I have a 4yo. If he came home repeating this "joke", regardless of where he'd picked it up, I would ask him what he thinks AIDS is, and explain to him that it's a really horrible illness that many people have died from, and tell him that I think it's really strange and unkind that [whoever] thinks it's funny.
Depends on your DDs temperament and understanding but that would be enough to take the humour out of it for DS. A long lecture, or getting cross, would probably make him do it more.
And yes, your ex sounds incredibly juvenile. 33 years old FFS 🙄

WittyFatball · 16/07/2024 21:20

It's the kind of thing 13 year old boys find hilarious.