To be confused by DH’s bedside manner

DH is the same but as long as DD is cared for and the house keeps running I'm happy to wallow alone.

When you're healthier, it might be fun to do the "love languages" test with him. You might just have very different ways and priorities around expressing love and sympathy, and knowing will help you both adapt and compromise.

Ouch! He definitely no loss to the nursing profession? And you say he's brusque?!
So did he have bad practice? Put people's lives at risk? Or just not Florence Nightingale enough?
Does he know you have such a low opinion of him?

Healthcare workers I think can sometimes struggle a bit more with the gushy sympathy role I think. I get somewhat sympathied-out at times for coughs/colds or general stressing at things (like the old couple whining their heads off at delays in an airport queue to a lovely holiday when I'd spent most of the day doing cpr on a small child). Nearly everything I see at work as an anaesthetist/icu Dr is far worse than I encounter in my home life thankfully so I probably am a little less tolerant than I should be. I force myself to cope with illness though beyond covid isolation I've only had 2 sick days in 10y with actual flu that floored me to barely walking upstairs. Sorry v much a ramble but my first suggestions will always be practical on what meds have you taken to help?
Hugs it's crap being ill. I'd recommend just asking outright for what you want like a hug^^

You both sound very similar to me and my DH... we both work and communicate differently, and that neither is wrong, its just a different way of functioning!

When one of us is down about something, we now ask each other "do you want comfort, or solutions?"

Mine is generally 'comfort' - I am practical enough and can always logically find a solution, I just need some TLC to put a smile on my face and give me the enthusiasm to work it through. DH is generally 'solutions' - he doesn't associate sympathy to giving a cuddle or anything like that, and finds sharing ideas to solve the issue much more useful.

Again... neither wrong, just different personalities!

🤯 most of us don’t qualify for flu jabs this year, or last.

of course we then get flu.

and same with covid

its 2 years since I was given my last Covid jab-had Covid twice since then and last time it was bloody awful

I don’t know where you live or your age , but if in England do inform yourself of just who does get these vaccines currently and stop being so judgy

Many people see a problem and want to fix it. Particularly men, but many women to , me included!

he’s seeing you have a problem. You’re poorly. The normal way things are done at home is disrupted. You’re disrupted! He’s stepping up and doing what’s needed, but he wants to fix the root cause too. That’s trying to prevent it happening agian. And all jolly good ideas they are too. Well done him 🙄

you need to explain to him, thanks for all the sugg stiobs n how to prevent it in future, or what he thinks you should do. But right now you need a little bit of love, not a root cause analysis and solutions to prevent it happening again. Right now you feel shit, and you’d just like him to give you the space to be ill, and acknowledge it’s not nice for you. Reassure him a bit of empathy (its empathy not sympathy you need) won’t turn you into a martyr or hypochondriac in the future. But right now you just want a bit of simple love - words, touch and hugs 🤗

It sounds like he doesn't like a lot of fuss and bother when he's ill and so he treats you the same! At least he does all the practical stuff 😊

If my DH got the flu after not getting a flu jab I can’t say I would be overly impressed.

I think YABU slightly.
You have said he has stepped up which is what you need.
I have noticed I'm not overly sympathetic when someone is ill, it's not that I don't believe them or think they are not ill it's just I go into to practical mode, like your husband.
I get that it may come across as being unsympathetic but it really isn't intended to be like that

I've had what I assume is Covid since Friday and I'm glad dh was at work from Sunday!! He leaves at 5 and returns at 7pm so it's a long day but I'm better alone.

I really understood my DHs approach to me being ill when I asked him and mil about how he was treated when he was ill as a child: it was very much a get on with it approach.

I'm the same, although it's probably linked to work, if I've been dealing with death and very unwell/incapacitated people all day, I don't have much space for a cold bug.

I'm not particularly sympathetic when people are unwell. I help in practical ways but other than saying get well soon, I don't know what else people would need in terms of emotional support for a basic illness. I dont want a fuss when I'm unwell and prefer to be left alone.

It's not a lot different to how I'd treat DP: I'll keep you alive, along with anything else that requires it in the house, but when it was something that could have been avoided through vaccination, there's a distinct shortage of sympathy or brow mopping. I'm in my element with injuries, tbh.

Fortunately, he's from farming stock, so being fussed over isn't an expectation - as he puts it 'we can all tell if it's something serious, you know - you start being nice and then an ambulance appears outside'.

YABU and very needy. He is picking up the slack, you’ve not had to worry about the DC, he’s still been going to work, he’s asked you how you are, he’s suggested medicine to you. Sounds like he’s being very helpful and doing everything he can so you can get plenty of rest. Unless you want him to stop doing all those things and sit at your bedside stroking your hair lol

My family was like @user1471453601 We were looked after, if ill, in a caring (though distant) & practical way, but strongly discouraged from time off school (parents worked full time in NHS). If DH is ill I am practical but not much for ‘TLC’. If DC are ill I’ll similarly focus on practicalities, but with more soothing & hugs!

Agree, he's done nothing wrong but you are looking for an issue.
Also , if he doesn't even bother about him self then you shouldn't take it so personally. It's how he is.

Is he checking on you sometimes, bringing you medication, drinks, food (if you want it)? accepting that you feel so unwell you need to be off sick & rest in bed?

If so then YABU.

It depends on what you mean by TLC and sympathy really. When me or husband have a lurgy it's arms length don't come near me. I like to be left alone to get on with it. If everything needed to run the house is taken care of them it's happy days.

If he wanted to sit by my bed and hold my hand I think I'd want to clunk him one

Do you make it very obvious what you’re looking for from him or do you kind of hide it and expect him to just know what to do? If you’re feeling a bit needy then express that, tell him what you need (in a gentle way).

I'm very much the same as your DH. More than happy to provide practical advice and the odd drink/snack and take on all the housework. I don't particularly want to snuggle up to someone sick, and I can't stand anyone near me when I'm feeling ill.

Attitudes to ill health are, I think, formed pretty early.

I had a conversation with a dear friend about this. She's what I would say someone who enjoys ill health. I'm the opposite. The conversation was around why we had very different attitudes to illness. I'm very much like your husband. If I'm ill I want, indeed, need to be left alone. My friend wants, needs, people to demonstrate their caring.

We decided it was to do with our childhood. If I were ill as a child, the answer was, go to bed, if you're too ill to go to school, you're too ill to have any form of entertainment. My friends family, on the other hand, was all poor you, let me coddle you.

Neither of us thought either approach was wrong.
Both of us carried our family a attitude into later life. If your partner is usually kind and thoughtful, maybe he's just mirroring what he learned?