Teenage food

As others said can you do it a few days a week? A carbonara by your mum and sitting chatting to your mum will always beat one you do yourself at that age and it would beat a McDonald’s (even for a teen). Since Christmas means she’s had 15 and a half years of certain foods and now it’s all been changed. (I’ll be honest a carbonara would sound a lot nicer to me than your dinner today but I get a lot would love it and you want to lose weight. Sorry!!)

Give her two choices

Eat what you cook for her, or she cooks for herself 🤷‍♀️

It's that simple. It was that simple when I was growing up, it was that simple when my 3 DS were growing up and it's that simple now.

Then you need to be harsh but firm. Sorry there’s no easy answer but she just needs to learn how to be independent and that includes cooking, cleaning, washing, gardening etc, to be honest she should have been learning these basic things by age 13

OP why are you not addressing the fact you’re allowing your 16 year old to act like an entitled brat? In 2 years she will be an adult yet doesn’t know how to cook a basic meal…..

She sounds really bratty. I bet she wants other perks of being 'grown up', like staying out late, having a phone, setting her own bedtime etc. Not your fault of course OP, you sound like you're doing great. Well done on your weight loss so far!

You're cooking healthy balanced meals and if she doesn't want to eat that, at 16 she can cook something herself! You're not her servant or her personal chef! Can you buy a few pasta ready meals and stick them in the fridge for her to microwave as a compromise? Tesco Finest have a few nice ones!

It's not great that she has gotten to 16 years old and can't look after herself or others. You are pretty much leaving her to fend for herself now without having given her the skills or knowledge to be able to do so. That is what people are criticising.

Yeah at 16 if they don't want to eat what you are cooking then they can cook themselves. She's not 'being left to feed for herself' at all ffs.. she has the option to eat what's being cooked for her.. or she has the option to cook something with other food you have bought her.. she is chosing not to do either of those things and instead cook frozen pizzas and or order takeaway.
Sorry but I don't even cook my primary aged kids meals I'm not eating myself. Unless she is ASD or has some serious food issue then you are well within your rights to say she needs to cook her own food if she doesn't like the things you cook. You aren't a restaurant. And even if you were you'd only have what was on the menu!
I don't get people who wait on their teenagers hand and foot. What's she gonna do when she leaves home? Craziness.

Ah that’s an important detail. In that case yanbu.

I used to prepare family meals from about 13; DM was working.
if she doesn't want what you're preparing she can go hungry or learn to cook.

It's not so much that opinion is divided. Nobody thinks you should be her maid. But it's unfortunate she was never made to cook or participate in cooking before, as part of a joint family enterprise, rather than just suddenly at 16 being told to sink or swim.

I love the sound of your meals btw.

Make a big six portion lasagna and freeze 5 portions, grill burgers which she has with a bun and cheese, you without plus salad and roasted vegetables for you and oven chips for her?

I'm guessing prior to Christmas you ate a less healthy diet and she is rebelling

One meal here, you eat it or get your own. At 16 I was away at college and lived on porridge as it was all I could afford. Luckily it was chef school so I ate a bit ther

Jeez.
My DD and I share the cooking, me doing it on get college days (she's just left). I cook normal meals for dinner, and only eat one other meal. You can have pasta if you watch your portion size.
But she can cook gif herself if she doesn't like what you are cooking - tell her about time she did her fair share and good practice for when she goes to uni or moves out!

She’s not left to her own devices. She can eat the food that’s cooked for her or make her own. No wonder young people come into the job market thinking everyone needs to do their work for them when near adults are treated like little kids.

Was she expected to cook for herself 4/7 days before your diet started?

I feel sorry for your DD. Yes, it's good to learn to cook- but much nicer to learn when she wants to rather than because she has to. It's not her fault you are on a strict calorie controlled diet which isn't suitable for a teenager. I would be meeting her halfway. Cook healthy balanced meals which are tasty and healthy which she likes- then if you need to reduce calories adapt the meals for you by having smaller portions of the carbs, larger portion of the veg, miss out the sauce etc. rather than expecting her to eat your diet.

Your parental responsibility is to provide access to healthy, nutritious food. You are doing that. If she chooses not to eat it, that's her choice.

Your food sounds ok but you are obviously focused on it being low calorie and that might not be ideal for a growing teenager.

I think there has to be a compromise. Its good for a teen to learn some cookery skills but you are still her parent - can you not manage to have one or two more relaxed/less restrictive meals a week that you prep and eat together? Being extremely rigid about it doesn't send very healthy messages about food/eating.