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Original poster

DH annoyed "I didn't notice his tidying"

39 replies

Battenbergcoconutice · 16/07/2024 18:20

I'm five months pregnant and have an 18 month old. Been running around all day after toddler not even had time to make myself a cup of tea this afternoon and also had to walk the dog plus the usual (have changed about 6 poo nappies today's DS a bit I'll). Husband asked me if I'd noticed the tidying he did after he finished work and got annoyed that I hadn't just now saying he spent 45 minutes on it! I'm so annoyed this is so typically male! I don't ask for brownie points for all the things I've done today including growing a child in my uterus! 🤣 #men!

OP posts:
Catza · 16/07/2024 20:06

ToxicChristmas · 16/07/2024 18:52

I couldn't be married to someone who needed an infantilising pat on the head for carrying out a necessary task in their own house. My teens don't even expect that. Even worse to sulk and refuse to do anything again because he didn't get a round of applause. Yuck.

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Well, my partner is taken anyway so not sure what difference it makes whether you want to be married to someone like that or not.
I am sure he would hate to be married to someone without sense of humour… looks like it’s not meant to be for the two of you.

DadJoke · 16/07/2024 19:16

Either you thank each other for doing routine stuff or you don't. It shouldn't be based on gender. Occasional appreciation in general is always welcome.

BroadbeanMama · 16/07/2024 18:55

The more I read posts such as this (and about problematic mama’s boys who side with their mothers instead of their wives) the more I’m convinced that women need to kick off more. As in, lose their fucking shit and go apoplectic when their DH acts like a fool. If your DH viewed taking you for granted as akin to poking a dragon, he probably wouldn’t do it. And I’m only half joking.

35Emma · 16/07/2024 18:54

My DP has this same habit of announcing when he’s done any household chores eg ‘I’ve put the dishwasher on’ or ‘I’ve put the bin out’. I used to automatically say thank you but now it gets on my nerves as if I should be grateful that he has done a basic task. I just say ‘ok’ now or ‘yeah I saw that’.
He doesn’t acknowledge all the household stuff I do, probably because I don’t announce it to him. It is tempting to be sarcastic and offer him a round of applause but I don’t want him to stop doing the little that he does (without being asked) 😂

ToxicChristmas · 16/07/2024 18:52

Catza · 16/07/2024 18:41

Yes, it's ridiculous BUT you need to have your long-term planning hat on. When mine tells me this, I always say "thank you, love" because I WANT him to do it again...and again. If I choose to prove a point by getting into an argument about medals and temples and who does what, there is no way he is going to do it again.
So I go with the path of least resistance and keep him happy by telling him he is a good boy.

I couldn't be married to someone who needed an infantilising pat on the head for carrying out a necessary task in their own house. My teens don't even expect that. Even worse to sulk and refuse to do anything again because he didn't get a round of applause. Yuck.

kittybiscuits · 16/07/2024 18:50

Would some 'good boy' stickers help for such occasions? I'd find it nigh on impossible to respond without sarcasm.

auntpanty · 16/07/2024 18:49

I normally say oh sorry do you want your party now or later?

Daleksatemyshed · 16/07/2024 18:48

@Catza I loved your post, I imagine you talking to your DH the way I talk to dogs - Oh, whose a good boy, did you use a duster, did you, good boy 😂

RobinHood19 · 16/07/2024 18:45

Does he notice your work? If not, ask him why.

Felch · 16/07/2024 18:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

nationalsausagefund · 16/07/2024 18:44

Catza · 16/07/2024 18:41

Yes, it's ridiculous BUT you need to have your long-term planning hat on. When mine tells me this, I always say "thank you, love" because I WANT him to do it again...and again. If I choose to prove a point by getting into an argument about medals and temples and who does what, there is no way he is going to do it again.
So I go with the path of least resistance and keep him happy by telling him he is a good boy.

keep him happy by telling him he is a good boy.
Sorry, your husband or your puppy?

Catza · 16/07/2024 18:41

Yes, it's ridiculous BUT you need to have your long-term planning hat on. When mine tells me this, I always say "thank you, love" because I WANT him to do it again...and again. If I choose to prove a point by getting into an argument about medals and temples and who does what, there is no way he is going to do it again.
So I go with the path of least resistance and keep him happy by telling him he is a good boy.

DementedPanda · 16/07/2024 18:41

Buy some plastic medals and give him one 😂 my husband can be a bit like this... I hoovered for you, did the dishes for you etc. I usually just reply do you float? Oh, did you not enjoy the meal I've just cooked?

SaveMeASeatOnTheBusToHell · 16/07/2024 18:27

Amazing how they expect you to say ‘thank you’ or ‘well done’ but they don’t notice what you spend each and every day doing isn’t it?

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