Page 2 | To be approaching 40 with no friends

N27 · 2024-07-16T15:08:34+00:00

As the title suggests really, is it common to have no close friends at this stage of life or is it just me? My social media seem to be full of girls weekends away etc and I honestly have no one to do that with. I seem to make friends, for example through uni, work, clubs etc, but they never seem to endure outside of that setting 🤷♀️ is there an art to making and keeping friends that I don’t know about?

candyisdandybutliquorisquicker · 16/07/2024 17:00

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 16/07/2024 16:42

I’m 26 and have no friends apart from my husband. I don’t really have any advice on how to make friends. I haven’t managed it yet. Just know you’re not the only one. Friendship just doesn’t come naturally to some people. It doesn’t mean that people with friends are any ‘better’ than you.

I think this is really important - building relationships is a skill like any other and one that can be "worked on". There isn't anything "wrong" with you, and you're not inferior to those people for whom friendships come easily.

Isittimeformynapyet · 16/07/2024 16:58

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 16/07/2024 16:42

I’m 26 and have no friends apart from my husband. I don’t really have any advice on how to make friends. I haven’t managed it yet. Just know you’re not the only one. Friendship just doesn’t come naturally to some people. It doesn’t mean that people with friends are any ‘better’ than you.

I think my friends are at least preferable to people who are not my friends, if not "better". I haven't got time to be friends with people indiscriminately!

DanielGault · 16/07/2024 16:58

I think social circles can contract quite a bit as people couple up and have kids etc. so I wouldn't say it's particularly abnormal. You do have friends, but you'll just be bottom of the totem pole after family etc.

NeedToChangeName · 16/07/2024 16:52

With friendships, I often think that (1) you get out what you put in, (2) they wax and wane, (3) many are based on proximity and convenience, (4) social media doesn't necessarily show the true picture, (5) MN is full of people who secretly hate their friends and / or cut them off abruptly

Devilsmommy · 16/07/2024 16:52

I'm 38 and have not one friend. Got my DH and DS so that's ok for me

Mary46 · 16/07/2024 16:49

Hi op yes not easy. I find that too. I put up a thread today about nobody making effort and got told they not obliged to make contact)
I think small groups fine. Sometimes its easier to do things alone than wait on others. But I think big groups are big drama and fallouts

FatmanandKnobbin · 16/07/2024 16:45

I'm mid 40s and the same.

I'm a single parent, I have a disability, my dd has a disability I have 2 dogs and I just don't have the energy to bother about anyone else tbh <selfish>.

Any time I've made a friend they require more of me than I have to give so I don't bother, and I'm quite happy that way.

I don't mind chatting to anyone on a superficial level, but the thought of more than that is exhausting to me.

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 16/07/2024 16:42

I’m 26 and have no friends apart from my husband. I don’t really have any advice on how to make friends. I haven’t managed it yet. Just know you’re not the only one. Friendship just doesn’t come naturally to some people. It doesn’t mean that people with friends are any ‘better’ than you.

Potatoewithawonkyeye · 16/07/2024 16:38

I'm 35 and literally do everything on my own. But i have no family left or children. I have acquaintances but not a 'girl group'.

I honestly LOVE IT! I holiday on my own/groups/pubs and clubs/gym. I meet and chat to 50 different people on a day out.

You only have to look at the threads on here and be thankful for none of the drama a group brings!!!! It's not to say I don't enjoy other people's company....its just I only have to consider myself (selfish I know)

This is also why I'm single!!

GiraffeInABath · 16/07/2024 16:24

I’m late 20s and the same- partly I become bored by people and feel that they’re needy? But I sometimes feel like a freak in that I don’t have friends to do stuff with