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Original poster

To ask if this would offend you?

247 replies

CobaltQueen · 16/07/2024 15:24

Telling someone they have a strong accent and asking where they are from. Turns out they have always lived in this area and looked really embarrassed when I asked. Was I rude?

OP posts:
CelesteCunningham · 16/07/2024 17:40

KatieCrusoe · 16/07/2024 17:35

I wouldn't be offended. I had people describe me as "having an accent ", as though they don't have one.

I used to work in a telephone based job and occasionally someone would claim not to understand my accent and ask to speak to someone English.

Oh I love the "I don't have an accent" crowd. My absolute favourite kind of idiot.

Mustreadabook · 16/07/2024 17:39

I'm a northener living down south, I don't mind if people ask where I'm from, I am glad I don't have a southern accent after 20 odd years! Though if they said I have a 'strong accent' I might feel it is slightly insulting.

TamzinGrey · 16/07/2024 17:39

I don't think that it's rude if you ask in a polite manner. I was born and brought up in Wales, but have lived in England for all of my adult life. I actually love it when people recognise the faint remnant of my original Welsh accent.

Buddhistretreatwithcrisps · 16/07/2024 17:38

Itstoday · 16/07/2024 17:33

When you ask a question because you want to satisfy your curiosity rather than there being any benefit or care towards the person you are asking then don't ask it.

You may well have wondered about her accent and been curious but that is not enough reason to intrude on someone elses privacy.

Christ.

finallygone · 16/07/2024 17:36

Don't even waste time thinking about this anymore. You have done nothing wrong.

KatieCrusoe · 16/07/2024 17:35

I wouldn't be offended. I had people describe me as "having an accent ", as though they don't have one.

I used to work in a telephone based job and occasionally someone would claim not to understand my accent and ask to speak to someone English.

finallygone · 16/07/2024 17:34

CobaltQueen · 16/07/2024 15:24

Telling someone they have a strong accent and asking where they are from. Turns out they have always lived in this area and looked really embarrassed when I asked. Was I rude?

Not rude at all. Don't worry.

WatermelonMickeys · 16/07/2024 17:34

No, it’s not rude. People are oversensitive and looking for reasons to be offended these days.

Georgethecat1 · 16/07/2024 17:34

I get asked where my accent is from as I don’t sound local. Never been offended.

missmollygreen · 16/07/2024 17:33

There are some really odd people on here!
It is not rude to ask about an accent.
Get a grip people, stop the virtue signalling

Itstoday · 16/07/2024 17:33

When you ask a question because you want to satisfy your curiosity rather than there being any benefit or care towards the person you are asking then don't ask it.

You may well have wondered about her accent and been curious but that is not enough reason to intrude on someone elses privacy.

Linlithgow · 16/07/2024 17:31

protectoroftherealm · 16/07/2024 15:52

No, it wouldn't offend me in the slightest. You've asked a question not shat on their mum.

😂

WickWood · 16/07/2024 17:30

Honestly, this would not offend me in the slightest!

labamba007 · 16/07/2024 17:30

It's not rude. The intent behind it was genuine curiosity and interest. I don't know how people get through the day being so perpetually offended by every little thing, I'm sure this has gotten worse over the last decade.

Linlithgow · 16/07/2024 17:29

Not rude at all just another example of the world going mad!

FangsForTheMemory · 16/07/2024 17:29

If I hear an interesting accent I always ask about it, because I'm interested in linguistics.

WimbyAce · 16/07/2024 17:27

I don't think it's rude at all. Maybe she's putting it on which is why she was was embarrassed 😅

labamba007 · 16/07/2024 17:25

SeeSeeRider · 16/07/2024 15:26

I'm really amazed that you have to ask. Maybe you're not British? if you are, did you get taught 'manners' as a kid?

Because only British people can be polite? What an odd comment.

Isittimeformynapyet · 16/07/2024 17:22

DeanElderberry · 16/07/2024 15:49

Commenting on someone's accent is shorthand for 'I have no interest in what you are saying because I regard you as a species of entertainer, not as a person who is worth listening to'. That is why it is rude.

This suggests you have a problem with different accents, otherwise why on earth would you think it's negative to have one?

Honestly, the touchiness of so many people astounds me!

Carry on being friendly and interested in others, OP.

Buddhistretreatwithcrisps · 16/07/2024 17:20

Honestly it's really not 'rude'. A bit clumsy probably, but not rude.

Maybe she's embarrassed if she went on holiday to Aus and tried to adopt the accent, as I've known people to do! Now that is embarrassing.

Sprinklesandsprinkles · 16/07/2024 17:19

I don't think it's rude at all to ask about an accent. Could she have a speech impediment which , surprised at all the replies on the first page. is why she's be offended and you mistook if as an accent?

LemonLymanDotCom · 16/07/2024 17:17

That’s happened to me before. Mostly old school Londoners who think I’m an Aussie… I didn’t find it rude at all! Just the influence of many antipodes friends possibly. Plus the Aussie accent supposedly developed from a south east England accents, cos there were loads of convicts sent over there who were Londoners.

No idea if that is true or not, but no. Wasn’t being asked wasn’t offensive. Surprising if anything and something to chat about.

Edited to add, I’m white, if you were asking a person of colour, it could totally be offensive.

Bromptotoo · 16/07/2024 17:14

OnTheRoll · 16/07/2024 16:43

"Where are you from" is also rude. It's often feels like othering so best not asked.

Show quote history

Where are you from then posed as an open question is fine and conversational though it can be a trap if you're talking to somebody of non UK heritage.

If they say London the answer is where in London not 'but where are you really from'.

As Lady Hussey found to her cost.

OneTC · 16/07/2024 17:13

OH is English, like proper English, also brown.

People ask her where she's from, despite a very clearly South London accent, she answers with the London hospital she was born in. Then they ask but yeah really?

That's fucking rude, but to me that's very different

Needmorelego · 16/07/2024 17:11

@greenpolarbear I'm not sure what you mean.
If a child's parents speak a different language (ie non English) so the child is bilingual does that mean their parents language is not their "actual language" ?