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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel shaken by this incident and want to leave work?

242 replies

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:22

It’s been non stop raining where I live for days. I don’t drive so on my dinner I walk to a local Sainsbury’s. Today I waited for the rain to stop and then went out, so I didn’t have an umbrella and I don’t have a coat because even though it’s wet, it’s still warm.

I was walking to Sainsbury’s and the road was clear, then I suddenly heard a car speed up. I didn’t have time to wonder what was going on because before I knew it, they drove speeding into a puddle on the side and splashed me. It was a massive puddle so the water has drenched me! It stopped me in my tracks because it was freezing and all my hair and face were wet. As the van drove off, the guy in the passenger seat wound his window down laughing and shouted “slag!” At me. I feel really upset. I know nothing awful happened in the grand scheme of things but it’s just knowing that they sped up to do that on purpose and then laughed about it and called me a name. I am back in work now but my hair is wet and my clothes are so wet they are stuck to me on one side. I feel freezing cold and want to go home so that I can get changed and then just work my last few hours at home.

Would I be unreasonable to ask? Am I being dramatic? I told my boss what happened because I walked back through the door all wet and he was just saying that they’re idiots etc but hasn’t offered to let me go home to change into something dry. So I feel like he would say no. I just feel a bit sad and miserable now.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 16/07/2024 13:59

He's scum, OP. There are cameras everywhere. Report it to the police. They have access to local authority's footage and there's a good chance that they can find this van. Make sure you know the time (as close as you can), the location and anything you remember about the van or driver.

I'm really sorry this happened, it's not you, it's these feeble, inadequate men who do this to women because they can.

I would definitely ask your employer if you can go home, you're not really in a fit state to work and you shouldn't be sitting around in wet clothes. Ask them now. Flowers

rainbowstardrops · 16/07/2024 13:57

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Wow! Really?!
Yes they're absolute arseholes but to wish them to crash and die? You've got issues just like they have!!!

I'm glad you're going home OP. That was a really shitty thing they did to you.

HelpMeGetThrough · 16/07/2024 13:56

HelpMeGetThrough · 16/07/2024 13:54

I wouldn't ask, I would tell your boss you are going home to clean up and get into warm, dry clothes and you'll work the rest of the day at home.

If they say no, remind them it's not school and this is your decision and it's final, or would they like HR to join you both for a further discussion.

Just saw your other post. A sensible boss then.

HelpMeGetThrough · 16/07/2024 13:54

I wouldn't ask, I would tell your boss you are going home to clean up and get into warm, dry clothes and you'll work the rest of the day at home.

If they say no, remind them it's not school and this is your decision and it's final, or would they like HR to join you both for a further discussion.

TallulahBetty · 16/07/2024 13:54

MereDintofPandiculation · 16/07/2024 13:28

It always has been an offence. It comes under "driving without due consideration"

Actually it's even more serious than that - it can also come under common assault and/or battery.

Robotcustard · 16/07/2024 13:53

This happened to me before when I was waiting for a bus to go on a nice day out. I had to walk home to get changed and wait for a later bus. I felt like I’d been assaulted, it’s awful. I felt so so angry about it and frustrated that there was nothing I could do. They must have done it on purpose because there was enough room for them to have gone round the puddle if they had wanted to. Please report it, absolutely disgusting behaviour.

Dentalflossie · 16/07/2024 13:51

The police will be interested.
They did it deliberately.
They shouted slag.
They probably make a habit of doing this and they need reprimanding.

TonTonMacoute · 16/07/2024 13:51

pastaandpesto · 16/07/2024 13:26

I'm so sorry this happened to you OP, and I'm not surprised you feel upset and shaken. It's a really, really horrible thing to happen.

It's also illegal. I think you should report it, it may have been captured on CCTV.

www.rac.co.uk/drive/news/motoring-news/drivers-splashing-pedestrians-face-fines-of-up-to-5000/

This.

Its driving without due care. Was it a company van? I would do everything I could to make that bastard pay.

CookStrait · 16/07/2024 13:49

CUNTS!

Hopefully the press will pick the story up, & go after them. This prick’s probably been doing this to people all day.

In the Road Traffic Act 1988, Section 3, the rules on splashing pedestrians comes under the heading "careless driving", which is a criminal offence.24 Jun 2024

Ponderingwindow · 16/07/2024 13:47

I know it’s largely my job and position, but it wouldn’t occur to me to frame it as a request. You need to go home to change and the only logical thing is to wfh the rest of the day.

OuterSpaceCadet · 16/07/2024 13:47

You're so not unreasonable.

It's horrible to be out / at work in wet clothes.

But more than that, it was done by men, to a woman walking alone, with a misogynist slur thrown in too (just in case you hadn't guessed they were pathetic little pricks).

All these little "nothing terrible in the grand scheme of things" incidents add up. They serve to remind women of our position in our deeply unfair patriarchal society. If you're one of the many women who've already experienced male violence, incidents like this are retraumatising.

If misogyny wasn't so entrenched it would be classified a hate crime.

I don't wish crash and death on them though. I'll settle for some horrific necrotising knob disease.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 16/07/2024 13:47

I feel for you OP Flowers definitely see if you can go home

JohnofWessex · 16/07/2024 13:44

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:39

Would the police take this kind of thing seriously?

Well you wont know until you report it.

If you get the CCTV you can also complain to the company and make an insurance claim against them

LoveBluey · 16/07/2024 13:43

How horrible for you, I'm glad you're going home to get dried and hopefully a nice cup of tea and a few biscuits.

The trouble is when something like this happens you go in to shock and it takes a moment to register what has happened so you often can't note the vehicle description/registration in time. But yes it is worth reporting and seeing if there is CCTV.

Eadfrith · 16/07/2024 13:42

You’re not being unreasonable to want to go home and get showered and changed etc.

Sorry that happened to you, some people get their kicks from doing things like that and it does in fact mean they’re cunts, so the jokes on them really. Don’t take it personally, you won’t be the only person they’ve done it to. When I say ‘they’ I’m saying those men, and often it’s a sexist thing too where they also get their kicks from calling women slags. Feel sorry for the women in their lives.

Tartfulodger · 16/07/2024 13:42

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:39

Would the police take this kind of thing seriously?

Drivers can actually get in serious trouble for purposely speeding up to splash a pedestrian, including a fine or points on your license.

flexed.co.uk/blog/ever-driven-through-a-puddle-and-splashed-a-few-pedestrians-maybe-even-on-purpose/#:~:text=However%2C%20what%20many%20people%20don,hefty%20fine%20and%20penalty%20points!

myusernamewastakenbyme · 16/07/2024 13:39

This is awful and i would be distressed and shaken too....i have had things shouted at me from cars and vans etc and that was bad enough.

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:39

SeeSeeRider · 16/07/2024 13:37

You could report it to the police, they might look at CCTV footage, a long shot I know, but maybe worth a go?

Would the police take this kind of thing seriously?

OP posts:
Ginnnny · 16/07/2024 13:39

You're soaked through, email your boss to say you can't sit comfortably in the office so plan to leave to go home and dry off and will work the rest of the day. Don't ask permission. It's not good for you to sit in wet clothes x

SeeSeeRider · 16/07/2024 13:37

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:27

Thank you, I wish I got the number plate because it was a work van, it had some sort of signage on it so they must have worked for a company and I’d like to tell them. But I didn’t even think to look properly at the time

You could report it to the police, they might look at CCTV footage, a long shot I know, but maybe worth a go?

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:36

Thank you everyone for your responses. He has said it’s fine for me to leave and carry on at home. I can’t believe I even hesitated asking tbh, but it’s just one of those things where I don’t know if other people would know how something like that feels if it’s never happened to them, and would think it’s an overreaction.

I feel completely embarrassed and upset. But thank you for the nice replies I appreciate it x

OP posts:
TheCosyRain · 16/07/2024 13:35

Ask to go home OP, it’s completely reasonable. And please report it too. It is an offence.

happypickle · 16/07/2024 13:34

So sorry this happened to you, I honestly don't know what would make a man do this to a innocent women minding her own business. Take comfort in the fact they must be very miserable deep inside. Try and leave work early and do something to make yourself feel better tonight.

celadora · 16/07/2024 13:33

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MissUltraViolet · 16/07/2024 13:32

Are there any businesses along the road that may have CCTV or houses with doorbell cameras? I'd have to go look/ask so I could find out the name of the company.

Sorry it happened to you. Some people are just pathetic creatures. Imagine going out of your way to do that to a person, then the added 'slag' afterwards. How fucking embarassing for them, absolute scum.

As for work, if you feel really uncomfortable then yes - ask to go home and change at least.

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