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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel shaken by this incident and want to leave work?

242 replies

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:22

It’s been non stop raining where I live for days. I don’t drive so on my dinner I walk to a local Sainsbury’s. Today I waited for the rain to stop and then went out, so I didn’t have an umbrella and I don’t have a coat because even though it’s wet, it’s still warm.

I was walking to Sainsbury’s and the road was clear, then I suddenly heard a car speed up. I didn’t have time to wonder what was going on because before I knew it, they drove speeding into a puddle on the side and splashed me. It was a massive puddle so the water has drenched me! It stopped me in my tracks because it was freezing and all my hair and face were wet. As the van drove off, the guy in the passenger seat wound his window down laughing and shouted “slag!” At me. I feel really upset. I know nothing awful happened in the grand scheme of things but it’s just knowing that they sped up to do that on purpose and then laughed about it and called me a name. I am back in work now but my hair is wet and my clothes are so wet they are stuck to me on one side. I feel freezing cold and want to go home so that I can get changed and then just work my last few hours at home.

Would I be unreasonable to ask? Am I being dramatic? I told my boss what happened because I walked back through the door all wet and he was just saying that they’re idiots etc but hasn’t offered to let me go home to change into something dry. So I feel like he would say no. I just feel a bit sad and miserable now.

OP posts:
OneTC · 16/07/2024 14:26

Someone did exactly that to me and OH last night, minus the verbal. Fully deliberate, was a dual carriageway and the lane without the giant puddle was clear but they straddled the lane to get the puddle.

We were on our way home though, I'd be pissed off covered in dirty road water for the day.

Actually just remembered it happened to me once whilst I was at work and I didn't even ask I just rang them and told them I was going home to get changed

Fernticket · 16/07/2024 14:24

Eadfrith · 16/07/2024 13:42

You’re not being unreasonable to want to go home and get showered and changed etc.

Sorry that happened to you, some people get their kicks from doing things like that and it does in fact mean they’re cunts, so the jokes on them really. Don’t take it personally, you won’t be the only person they’ve done it to. When I say ‘they’ I’m saying those men, and often it’s a sexist thing too where they also get their kicks from calling women slags. Feel sorry for the women in their lives.

They probably haven't got any women in their lives (apart from Mother's, sisters etc) because they are complete and utter W⚓s. OP I am so sorry this happened to you. Do something nice for yourself this evening and as PPs have said it wasn't personal ,you were just unfortunate to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.💐

Dabralor · 16/07/2024 14:22

Thats awful op. Definitely go home, have a hot shower, make yourself a cup of tea and listen to the song 'Karma' by Taylor Swift really loudly.

They will have their comeuppance, here's hoping they already have?

ColourMeBlue · 16/07/2024 14:19

I really feel for you, OP.Thats terrible.Ive had abuse shouted at me from a car window,it does leave you shaken up.Funnily enough,when I caught up to them sitting at a red light,they had nothing to say and sped off sharpish.
It's always bloody men doing it to women too-you never hear of a woman doing it to another woman,or even a man doing it to another man-they wouldn't dare.I agree with asking for CCTV and contacting the non emergency police number.You were purposely soaked and name called afterwards.Hope you are doing OK now you are hopefully home and well😊

BarHumbugs · 16/07/2024 14:17

I have reported someone doing this and the police never even bothered to reply but I think the yelling at you afterwards makes it more serious.

ukgot2pot · 16/07/2024 14:17

Report it-100%. There might be CCTV to capture what happened. Sorry this happened. Just remember Karma is a wonderful thing, so these basards will get what's coming I'm sure.

SinnerBoy · 16/07/2024 14:14

Cynthiaramsey · Today 13:36

Thank you everyone for your responses. He has said it’s fine for me to leave and carry on at home.

Hurray for you! And BOOO! to the van wankers.

YouJustDoYou · 16/07/2024 14:13

My car was hit by a guy running the red once, I was shaking when I was trying to deal with him and this absolute motherfucking arsehole drove past slowly, wound his window down and yelled at me "serves you right, stupid fucking cunt", then he threw trash at me. The utter RAGE I felt in that moment, it still make me boil when I think about it. I hope he got a STI and his dick rots off. Dickhead.

RB68 · 16/07/2024 14:10

both the catcalling and the splashing are offenses these days.

timenowplease · 16/07/2024 14:10

I'd call the police and report that as an assault. Yes, they do take it seriously.

YouJustDoYou · 16/07/2024 14:09

Men can be such fucking dickheads. I've had similar happen to me before, with them gleefully yelling nasty things out the window at me (I got spat on once too. Delightful). So sorry that fuckstain did that to you op, fuck him. May he shit hedgehogs.

AddictedToBooks · 16/07/2024 14:09

I'm really sorry this happened to you OP. It's a horrible thing to happen by some nasty individuals who didn't even know you and thought it was an easy laugh.
They wouldn't like it if someone did this to their sister/mum/gran/partner but they're wimps with the brains of little boys.
Although it feels personal, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time and they would have done it to anyone who was there - I've seen men do it to other men, because they're already driving and can make a quick getaway.
Hopefully you'll see a logo that you recognise and can then call the company and they might trace these horrible wastes of space.
I know that if something like this was reported to my husband's company, he'd be investigating and if there was evidence, it would be dismissal.

Make sure you do something nice especially for you - you deserve it x

Divasaurus · 16/07/2024 14:08

This happened to me a few years ago when I was walking to the local train station to go to work. Worse, it was two professional looking men dressed in expensive suits and they were laughing their heads off. I don’t think they banked on me striding up to their car and letting loose on them (unknown to me at the time I was pregnant and hormonal). I just wish I had the presence of mind to take a photo of their number plate and report them.

I’m so sorry this happened to you OP - I would definitely ask to go home, report the fuckers (as others have have said there is bound to be CCTV footage) and then be kind to yourself for the rest of the day 💐🍰🍷

JMSA · 16/07/2024 14:08

Fucking prick. I hope he smashes into a tree, and that the tree isn't badly harmed.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 16/07/2024 14:07

alittlequinnie, I'm so sorry to hear about both of those incidents. They have nothing whatsoever to do with you, everything to do with being a twat.

I'm not at all surprised that you were upset and shocked, I would have been too.

I know it's not all men who behave like this but it really is always a man doing this when it happens. Angry

Staringatthewalljustmeagain · 16/07/2024 14:07

What sort of an inadequate piece of shit do you have to be to actively seek to soak a woman with a puddle, and then shout ‘slag’ at her out of the window? I don’t know if they are just thick as shit or mentally damaged individuals, but that is horrific.

I got soaked deliberately by some blokes in a car when I was walking along the road when I was nearly nine months pregnant. They wouldn’t have known that from the back but as they went past would have done. They had been laughing out of the window but they drove off really fucking quickly afterwards. I got their plate and reported them but I never heard anything. They were only young and I hope to fuck they felt bad about it.

Greenlittecat · 16/07/2024 14:06

God I'm sorry ❤️ that would ruin my day.

Hopefully you are home and dry now xx

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 16/07/2024 14:06

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:22

It’s been non stop raining where I live for days. I don’t drive so on my dinner I walk to a local Sainsbury’s. Today I waited for the rain to stop and then went out, so I didn’t have an umbrella and I don’t have a coat because even though it’s wet, it’s still warm.

I was walking to Sainsbury’s and the road was clear, then I suddenly heard a car speed up. I didn’t have time to wonder what was going on because before I knew it, they drove speeding into a puddle on the side and splashed me. It was a massive puddle so the water has drenched me! It stopped me in my tracks because it was freezing and all my hair and face were wet. As the van drove off, the guy in the passenger seat wound his window down laughing and shouted “slag!” At me. I feel really upset. I know nothing awful happened in the grand scheme of things but it’s just knowing that they sped up to do that on purpose and then laughed about it and called me a name. I am back in work now but my hair is wet and my clothes are so wet they are stuck to me on one side. I feel freezing cold and want to go home so that I can get changed and then just work my last few hours at home.

Would I be unreasonable to ask? Am I being dramatic? I told my boss what happened because I walked back through the door all wet and he was just saying that they’re idiots etc but hasn’t offered to let me go home to change into something dry. So I feel like he would say no. I just feel a bit sad and miserable now.

Perfectly reasonable to go home and get dry if you are wet and cold and cannot get warm and dry at work!

Sorry this happened to you OP. You seem to have met more of those women-hating men.

They should suffer consequences for this. (Throwing a milk-shake can get you in court. Using a van to throw dirty water seems worse.) If they don't get these- they will do it again to someone.

Is it possible that there is any CCTV on that street and (even if their action against you isn't shown on camera) that you could identify the van - and the time it is there?

As you say - reporting them to their employer would be something and wouldn't need the level of proof required for a court.

oOiluvfriendsOo · 16/07/2024 14:03

Def report it to police, it's assault.

They'll just keep on doing it otherwise.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 16/07/2024 14:02

OuterSpaceCadet · 16/07/2024 13:59

If I'm passing a huge puddle, I always stare behind me at any traffic so they can see I'm clocking their number plate (never mind that I have a shit memory).

It's terrible that this even needs to be in your thoughts, OuterSpaceCadet but it's a real issue.

I'm always so careful driving through puddles, I crawl through at snail's pace but, if I hadn't spotted a pedestrian and accidentally splashed them, I would stop and I would apologise and offer a lift to where they're going.

SummerDays2020 · 16/07/2024 14:01

I hope you are soon in warm, dry clothes. That is horrible what happened. It would have shaken me up too, you were not being dramatic in the slightest.

Wheredidileavemycarkeys · 16/07/2024 14:01

Would I be unreasonable to ask? Am I being dramatic? I told my boss what happened because I walked back through the door all wet and he was just saying that they’re idiots etc but hasn’t offered to let me go home to change into something dry. So I feel like he would say no. I just feel a bit sad and miserable now.

They can’t force you to sit there in wet clothes.

alittlequinnie · 16/07/2024 14:01

Oh OP - I feel so sorry for you.

I was cycling home about 18 years ago and two lads in an ADT van kept pulling up to me and playing "who let the dogs out" and laughing their heads off.

It was crystal clear they were telling me I was a dog.

It never occurred to me at the time - but I should have reported it to ADT.

I proper cried when I got home and I still feel awful every time I think of it now - 18 years later!

About a year after that I was cycling home and there was a bus behind me and I was coming up to a bus stop - the bus was waiting for me to pull in and a man at the bus stop shouted at me "get off the road you stupid bitch" - I cried at that one too.

I just don't understand where men get off with this sort of thing - they are just total idiots! :(

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 16/07/2024 13:59

I also didn't see your update, I'm glad that you can be at home.

OuterSpaceCadet · 16/07/2024 13:59

If I'm passing a huge puddle, I always stare behind me at any traffic so they can see I'm clocking their number plate (never mind that I have a shit memory).