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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel shaken by this incident and want to leave work?

242 replies

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:22

It’s been non stop raining where I live for days. I don’t drive so on my dinner I walk to a local Sainsbury’s. Today I waited for the rain to stop and then went out, so I didn’t have an umbrella and I don’t have a coat because even though it’s wet, it’s still warm.

I was walking to Sainsbury’s and the road was clear, then I suddenly heard a car speed up. I didn’t have time to wonder what was going on because before I knew it, they drove speeding into a puddle on the side and splashed me. It was a massive puddle so the water has drenched me! It stopped me in my tracks because it was freezing and all my hair and face were wet. As the van drove off, the guy in the passenger seat wound his window down laughing and shouted “slag!” At me. I feel really upset. I know nothing awful happened in the grand scheme of things but it’s just knowing that they sped up to do that on purpose and then laughed about it and called me a name. I am back in work now but my hair is wet and my clothes are so wet they are stuck to me on one side. I feel freezing cold and want to go home so that I can get changed and then just work my last few hours at home.

Would I be unreasonable to ask? Am I being dramatic? I told my boss what happened because I walked back through the door all wet and he was just saying that they’re idiots etc but hasn’t offered to let me go home to change into something dry. So I feel like he would say no. I just feel a bit sad and miserable now.

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 16/07/2024 16:49

Bulkypeepants · 16/07/2024 16:12

Some people are like this because they have shit lives with little money, no education, no skills, poor health and parents that don't love/never loved them. Just remember that and smile at how tragic their shitty little lives are.

Men who have self respect would never shout something like that out at a woman.

It's always the creeps, the dim , badly educated ones who can never find a girlfriend, {Because of their shite personality} who are nasty like this.

Tabitha005 · 16/07/2024 16:45

Those men are absolute scumbags. And it's ALWAYS men doing this sort of thing with clear intent, isn't it?

Fernticket · 16/07/2024 16:45

ToWonderWhyIBother · 16/07/2024 15:18

This happened to my mum in the 80's in Glasgow town centre, she was out shopping and going for some lunch with her friend and two guys in a van did this. My mum was so angry she chased him up the street, where he had got stopped at a red light, she opened the passenger door and battered the bloke with her hand bag whilst calling him all manner of names in true glaswegian style.

Once she was finished she shut the door and advised him to think twice the next time he did this and walked back to her friend whilst the puddle was dripping down her hair and face, and trying to look ladylike.

40 years later at my mums funeral her friend relayed this story to everyone at the meal and the whole place was in stitches, it was such a lovely way to remember the fiesty lady that my mum was.

Bloody good for your Mum👍

oakleaffy · 16/07/2024 16:44

@Cynthiaramsey That is a really pathetic, vile thing to have happened- those little twats are probably impotent and have to get their kicks putting down women.

It's always a shock to get sprayed like that- I've had it happen a few times, but luckily no one had shouted anything-

It's a horrible shock to be sprayed with filthy cold gutter water.

The drains around here are really silted up and just don't drain surface water away.

I do now keep an eye out for puddles on narrow pavements- there are a couple of notorious spots around here.

One, a male friend got drenched at.

SleepEatSnoozeRepeat · 16/07/2024 16:29

Glad you’re at home, warm and dry. Those men are scum and I hope you feel better for reporting it. If you happen to have a local Facebook group for your area, it may be worth posting for possible dash cam or doorbell videos, it’s surprising what will come out that way.
This happened to DD and I walking to school one morning after a big storm. She went in front of me on a narrow bit of pavement and a bus for a large private school came thundering past us, we were both drenched. I made sure I took photos of us both and emailed the school. Got an apology and they said they would speak with the driver. Don’t know what then happened but the drivers do seem to have been a bit better since. We go the same way every day so you get to know the regular traffic!
I am very careful past big puddles now, and have been known to have my phone ready for video/photo taking just in case. It’s assault, pure and simple.

HolyPeaches · 16/07/2024 16:26

Omg what a bastard!😡

Hope you’re feeling okay now, and I’m glad to read you were allowed to go home.

When I was 14/15 I remember walking to meet a friend one afternoon after school, a guy in a van sped past me and launched a full McDonald’s milkshake at me and he screamed with laughter as he drove off. I’m early 30’s now and I still think about it whenever a van speeds past.

Boomer55 · 16/07/2024 16:16

Take unpaid leave for a couple of hours.

Naunet · 16/07/2024 16:14

SannaK · 16/07/2024 14:55

So is shouting In the street that a woman is a slag even with evidence a criminal offence?

Is that slander?

Even with evidence? Sorry, what evidence are you suggesting proves a woman to be a ‘slag’, and why does it only apply to women?

Bulkypeepants · 16/07/2024 16:12

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 14:45

Omg this is horrible! Not going to lie, I would be in tears over that too. I’m sorry that those things happened to you 😔 why are people like this?!

Some people are like this because they have shit lives with little money, no education, no skills, poor health and parents that don't love/never loved them. Just remember that and smile at how tragic their shitty little lives are.

Itiswhysofew · 16/07/2024 16:10

Apart from it being a disgusting thing to do to someone; you have to wonder if those dickheads have the brains to realise that they could be fined or sacked for doing it?

The mind boggles.

Glad you're now warm and with your furry friendBrew

Wheresthebeach · 16/07/2024 16:07

Horrible thing to happen. Please do report it, if there is cctv they will get held accountable and hopefully not do it to anyone else.

bakail · 16/07/2024 16:04

I had a half empty milk shake carton chucked at me, a car full of youngish men all laughing.

Not surprisingly they usually pick on lone women. Can't imagine why.

Naunet · 16/07/2024 16:03

Nasty little misogynist pricks. I had the same happen to me, I was 16 walking home after a 10 hour shift at work and a car full of young men intentionally splashed me, followed by their mates(?) in the car behind them doing exactly the same. Such lols.

AlexaAdventuress · 16/07/2024 16:00

It's well worth reporting, even if they can't identify the men concerned. It lets the authorities know there's a problem. It's a sufficiently serious issue that our elected representatives and senior public officials have made it into an offence, by Act of Parliament. So infrastructure has been put in place to help the unfortunate pedestrian.

Hope your groceries weren't anointed with puddle water at the same time!

MaryMack · 16/07/2024 15:59

You must report this incident, those wankers deserve it. Plus if they were driving a work van, then their employers will take a dim view of their behaviour. Phone 101 or report it online, location, approximate time, description of van and occupants will all be useful.

Glad you're feeling better. I cycle to and from work and frequently get comments shouted at me from car windows - usually someone trying to be funny and yelling 'get off that thing and milk it!' and other such crap. It always makes me jump and that in itself is a danger, not just to me but to other vehicles on the road.

Cello60 · 16/07/2024 15:58

Something very similar happened to
me and I felt the same - it’s the sheer unnecessary spite towards a complete stranger that shakes you. 😞. Hope the OP feels better after a clean up and cup
of tea.

PrincessofWells · 16/07/2024 15:42

It's a criminal offence, actual bodily harm. Probably on cctv. Make a complaint to the police . . . please.

oneniltothem · 16/07/2024 15:30

They are vile !!!!!! If I ever thought one of my sons, brothers or husband behaved like this I would be absolutely livid 🤬 it is so important to teach little boys that this is not ok ! Let's face it I've not come across women doing this. I'm so angry on your behalf please report them

ALovelyCupOfNameChange · 16/07/2024 15:25

glad you are home and warm

had this happen to me, I went home and cried. It was really scuzzy road water that drenched me, with bits in it. It was grim.
I also had this on the way to work once, went home and changed, work were arsey about it.

Zebedee999 · 16/07/2024 15:21

I had this exact same thing happen to me. I was walking along a quiet road that was flooded. As I was part way along the flooded section I heard a car coming from behind so I started to run knowing what would happen. But he sped up and came as close to me as possible and I was soaked head to toe in muddy water.
I got his registration number and reported it to the police as anto social behaviour. They visited the adress but both parties named on the insurance denied it was them so it went no where... but I am glad they got a visit.
I'd encourage anyone that anti social behaviour happens to to report it. In the case of cars, take the registration number.

ToWonderWhyIBother · 16/07/2024 15:18

This happened to my mum in the 80's in Glasgow town centre, she was out shopping and going for some lunch with her friend and two guys in a van did this. My mum was so angry she chased him up the street, where he had got stopped at a red light, she opened the passenger door and battered the bloke with her hand bag whilst calling him all manner of names in true glaswegian style.

Once she was finished she shut the door and advised him to think twice the next time he did this and walked back to her friend whilst the puddle was dripping down her hair and face, and trying to look ladylike.

40 years later at my mums funeral her friend relayed this story to everyone at the meal and the whole place was in stitches, it was such a lovely way to remember the fiesty lady that my mum was.

StitchVic · 16/07/2024 15:16

Sorry this happened to you OP. It’s appalling. I was mildly splashed (to thigh height) a few months ago and I was seriously peeved (although in my case the driver didn’t do it on purpose- it still stung!). As others have already said it is an offence and I remember reading (I think on BBC news website several years ago) about a mum who had successfully got a driver prosecuted when he purposely splashed her & her toddler.
I appreciate though it’s not a route you can go down if you didn’t get their number plate. You might see the same van again if you walk that route regularly, so fingers crossed you can get the plate then.

Keenovay · 16/07/2024 15:15

@Cynthiaramsey Just wanted to chime in with my sympathies, that's a horrible and shocking thing to happen out of the blue on your lunch-hour. As a cyclist, when random sadistic things like this happened to me, it was often guys in a white work van (obligatory #notallwhitevanmen disclaimer). I assume pack mentality + the elevated seating play a part, though I don't understand the desire to hurt someone you perceive as smaller and weaker. I do hope you get the bastards, but as another poster said, your own state of mind comes first. Quite right you went home, it's not good for knee joints etc sitting in wet clothes, not to mention you have been assaulted.

ChangeEmailAddress · 16/07/2024 15:11

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:39

Would the police take this kind of thing seriously?

They absolutely do. I was driving a tiny tractor on the road and a van overtook me and threw a cup of warm liquid (that I initially thought was piss but thankfully was flat coke) over me. Unfortunately for them they had to stop in traffic and I managed to get their registration and reported it. I made a statement and a couple of months later got a call saying that they had been arrested for something completely unrelated, and they thanked me for the report as it helped build a picture of what they were like.

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 15:09

Thanks everyone. I am warm and dry now at home, with a fluffy cat on my lap. I’ve had some chocolate and I feel a bit better. I think I will report it, even if it’s just to make myself feel like I’ve done something. The thought of them just getting away with it makes me really angry. Kicking myself for not paying attention to the company name on the van

OP posts:
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