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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel shaken by this incident and want to leave work?

242 replies

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:22

It’s been non stop raining where I live for days. I don’t drive so on my dinner I walk to a local Sainsbury’s. Today I waited for the rain to stop and then went out, so I didn’t have an umbrella and I don’t have a coat because even though it’s wet, it’s still warm.

I was walking to Sainsbury’s and the road was clear, then I suddenly heard a car speed up. I didn’t have time to wonder what was going on because before I knew it, they drove speeding into a puddle on the side and splashed me. It was a massive puddle so the water has drenched me! It stopped me in my tracks because it was freezing and all my hair and face were wet. As the van drove off, the guy in the passenger seat wound his window down laughing and shouted “slag!” At me. I feel really upset. I know nothing awful happened in the grand scheme of things but it’s just knowing that they sped up to do that on purpose and then laughed about it and called me a name. I am back in work now but my hair is wet and my clothes are so wet they are stuck to me on one side. I feel freezing cold and want to go home so that I can get changed and then just work my last few hours at home.

Would I be unreasonable to ask? Am I being dramatic? I told my boss what happened because I walked back through the door all wet and he was just saying that they’re idiots etc but hasn’t offered to let me go home to change into something dry. So I feel like he would say no. I just feel a bit sad and miserable now.

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Cynthiaramsey · 23/07/2024 15:35

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So then when are you using speech marks if it hasn’t actually been said? 😂

“I don’t get how you went from to warm to wear a coat to freezing” - what on earth is this sentence? What are you trying to say?

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jsterr1 · 23/07/2024 15:23

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ThePerkyDuck · 23/07/2024 14:58

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The op didn’t mention anything about being “traumatised”. Feeling shaken about smth and being traumatised about smth are 2 different things.

Cynthiaramsey · 23/07/2024 14:52

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I agree with you, anyone who gets traumatised by this would be being quite dramatic I think. However, I’ve literally never said I was traumatised… please can you quote where I have said this? Because you keep putting it in speech marks yet I’ve never said that so I’m really unsure where you are getting it from

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jsterr1 · 23/07/2024 12:24

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Tartfulodger · 21/07/2024 16:12

Cynthiaramsey · 21/07/2024 13:10

Thank you ❤️ yes totally fine now thank you, just learnt to be a bit more alert walking past big puddles ha

To be honest I am too. Shouldn't have to but I always avoid big puddles if there's no other way around or I wait until there's nothing coming and run for it.

Fernticket · 21/07/2024 16:10

I had someone drive through a puddle and soak me many years ago. However, I was on duty as a Special Constable at the time
My regular Police colleague who witnessed it, got his car reg and reported him
As far as he was concerned it was done deliberately. Sadly I never got to hear what happened to him. I wasn't as shaken as the OP was, but then I didn't have abuse hurled at me like she did.

OuterSpaceCadet · 21/07/2024 15:11

Mt61 · 21/07/2024 14:23

I posted in an earlier thread about an older chap in his 80s getting soaked, police was a couple cars behind the BMW, they got pulled up, what I didn’t realise that the old gentleman fell & cracked his head, & later died (my mum’s Friend lived nearby & saw the whole thing).The chap was on the floor in the pouring rain for over three hours, waiting for an ambulance. I am now wondering would they be done for manslaughter? She said they have put a memorial bench where the guy fell with 😔 I feel bad I didn’t stop but the police were there.
I absolutely don’t blame this lady for being upset- they are a couple of arse- wipes to say the least.

That is absolutely heartbreaking.

Mt61 · 21/07/2024 14:23

I posted in an earlier thread about an older chap in his 80s getting soaked, police was a couple cars behind the BMW, they got pulled up, what I didn’t realise that the old gentleman fell & cracked his head, & later died (my mum’s Friend lived nearby & saw the whole thing).The chap was on the floor in the pouring rain for over three hours, waiting for an ambulance. I am now wondering would they be done for manslaughter? She said they have put a memorial bench where the guy fell with 😔 I feel bad I didn’t stop but the police were there.
I absolutely don’t blame this lady for being upset- they are a couple of arse- wipes to say the least.

Alltheyearround · 21/07/2024 13:26

@Cynthiaramsey What happened is horrible, never mind posters trying to minimise and victim blame, bloody hell. Most of us get it as we have had similar things happen. Not nice at all to be drenched on purpose and have abuse hurled at you. Shame on those men for doing so.

Hope you have recovered.

Cynthiaramsey · 21/07/2024 13:10

TealPoet · 21/07/2024 13:08

Never mind the trolls, the important thing is are you feeling better now? I hope you’ve had no ill effects! <3

Thank you ❤️ yes totally fine now thank you, just learnt to be a bit more alert walking past big puddles ha

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TealPoet · 21/07/2024 13:08

Never mind the trolls, the important thing is are you feeling better now? I hope you’ve had no ill effects! <3

Cynthiaramsey · 21/07/2024 12:41

jsterr1 · 21/07/2024 01:52

Lolwut? When I read the question, I assumed you totaled your car and somehow escaped near physically unscathed.
But no. You got splashed. By a car driving through a big puddle. Then they said something mean to you. And this has rendered you incapable of working? You were "traumatized"? By a puddle?
I really can't believe how fragile people have become over the past decade or two. It's absolutely ridiculous. You should seek professional help if that's all it takes to make you feel undone.

Edited

I never said I was traumatised so I’m not sure why you’ve put that in speech marks. But I think it’s natural to feel shaken when you know that someone has done something purposefully to hurt or humiliate you. I didn’t want to stop working, I asked if I could go home so that I could get changed and work the rest of the shift from home. Reason being, I only had about 3 hours left of my shift and it takes 30 to 40 mins to get home and then would have to drive back again, so seemed pointless to go all the way home just to come back again for a final couple of hours. As it happens, my boss didn’t think it was unreasonable at all

OP posts:
rebeccasays · 21/07/2024 12:21

It sounds pretty much like a 'hate crime'. Women's rights so often get overlooked.

Calling you a horrible name after is so low, they are trying to make you feel it's you're fault or that you deserve to be bullied.

You're defiantly not being unreasonable to be upset, maybe a little bit dramatic to need the day off. Do you suffer from depression or anxiety? Mental health issues can make dealing with things like this even harder. (Although i don't think it means you have depression/ or anxiety to be upset by it). If so treatment for it might help.

Picklelily99 · 21/07/2024 12:17

My, then teenage, daughter got 'egged' once. All dressed up, off to meet her mates, then SMACK, right on the side of her face, thrown with force from a car. It bloody hurt! She burst into tears and came home, shocked that people could be so cruel. * some people are so far down in the gutter, the only way they can be happy is by trying to bring other people down too! NO, you are not being unreasonable to ask to go home.

ThePerkyDuck · 21/07/2024 10:59

jsterr1 · 21/07/2024 01:52

Lolwut? When I read the question, I assumed you totaled your car and somehow escaped near physically unscathed.
But no. You got splashed. By a car driving through a big puddle. Then they said something mean to you. And this has rendered you incapable of working? You were "traumatized"? By a puddle?
I really can't believe how fragile people have become over the past decade or two. It's absolutely ridiculous. You should seek professional help if that's all it takes to make you feel undone.

Edited

Nah, the person you describe that would not even think about the incident or ruminate on the best course of action would be described a psychopath. Her reaction is quite natural.

PollyPage21 · 21/07/2024 05:22

jsterr1 · 21/07/2024 02:35

Nope. I just don't think it's some day ruining event that merits taking the day off work. Go home, get changed into dry clothes, go back to work and carry on as if nothing of note has happened. Because it hasn't. She got splashed. OOOOOOO THE HORROR!!!

Thing is a few years ago there were groups of young men going round with water pistols spraying people with water laced with acid resulting in people having to have treatment for burns when these idiots were eventually caught they still thought it was funny

PollyPage21 · 21/07/2024 05:14

It's illegal to drive through puddles and deliberately drench people,it's in the highway code if you want to look at it,but the chances of the driver and passenger getting caught is minimal unless you got the reg plate,as for your boss he probably just didn't think you should have just asked him

jsterr1 · 21/07/2024 02:35

Firefly1987 · 21/07/2024 01:57

@jsterr1 you sound nice. Assume you're one of the dudes who does this sort of thing for kicks.

Nope. I just don't think it's some day ruining event that merits taking the day off work. Go home, get changed into dry clothes, go back to work and carry on as if nothing of note has happened. Because it hasn't. She got splashed. OOOOOOO THE HORROR!!!

Firefly1987 · 21/07/2024 01:57

@jsterr1 you sound nice. Assume you're one of the dudes who does this sort of thing for kicks.

jsterr1 · 21/07/2024 01:52

Lolwut? When I read the question, I assumed you totaled your car and somehow escaped near physically unscathed.
But no. You got splashed. By a car driving through a big puddle. Then they said something mean to you. And this has rendered you incapable of working? You were "traumatized"? By a puddle?
I really can't believe how fragile people have become over the past decade or two. It's absolutely ridiculous. You should seek professional help if that's all it takes to make you feel undone.

MrsS424 · 20/07/2024 22:26

Total assholes. U poor thing.

Ive stopped "asking for permission" with my work. Sometimes at work you HAVE to leave or WON'T be in...
Tell your boss you have to go home and change and you'll make the time up or lwop

Dontblameusok · 20/07/2024 20:53

It is actually illegal to splash someone with water when driving. You should see if you can report them

Alexa51 · 20/07/2024 20:03

There are some absolute scumbags around. My partner was cycling down a quiet country lane once and two men in a white van drove past and threw something over him from a bottle and drove off laughing. I've also had someone deliberately drive into a puddle to soak me (honestly, can you just imagine being the sort of person to do that?) Also seen two men in a white van shouting something horrible to a woman jogging past. Also once got a man getting really aggressive towards me as he said he'd stood to the side to let me jog past and I hadn't said thankyou (I did say thankyou - he just had earphones in) Just some of the many examples of violence/misogyny against women.

IamMoodyBlue · 20/07/2024 19:44

So sorry this happened to you. It's horrible.
It has happened to me too, waiting at a bus stop. Drenched from head to toe, going to work. Deliberate.
There are some nasty people out there. Glad you're at home safe & dry now.

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