Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Brown haired white kids never in photos

191 replies

StevieChicks · 16/07/2024 12:00

Just that really.
Seen the new school prospectus. Beautiful blond children everywhere, front cover and throughout, a few mixed race children, fewer black and Asian students (because racism) but without a doubt the least photographed children are kids like mine. Children with naturally brown, mousey or dark brown hair.
It's not the same as racism and I would not for a second think that this trivial matter is in any way similar to other discourses around representation. And maybe I have a chip on my shoulder from the eighties when I was never a Disney princess and had to be the evil witch. It doesn't feel like much has changed.
My son's hair is thick and dark brown/ black. He has very pale skin. I just don't see this as the desired aesthetic. The world still goes mad for blonde children.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
EndOfTheDayItGetsDark · 18/07/2024 12:59

Biffbaff · 16/07/2024 18:59

No one is nasty about blonde babies though. I was on the receiving end of a group of mums at a baby group talking about how worried they were that their babies would be ginger. Both me and my then weeks-old son have red hair and we were sitting right there. People are openly cruel and discriminatory towards redheads in a way they just aren't towards blondes although I do see that the "blondes are stupid" discourse is tiresome and should also be got rid of.

Tell that to my friend, whose blonde baby was referred to as Boris! 😨

Biffbaff · 16/07/2024 18:59

Allmyfavouritepeople · 16/07/2024 18:14

To be fair I don't so I can only speak from my experience. My point was that it's widely considered unacceptable to ask if ginger people have souls (example from pp) but it is acceptable to say 'I'm having a blonde moment" even in a work environment. Some people might still say the former but it's not as embedded as the latter (IMO).

The discourse that followed on from man Vs bear was really interesting. Examples I saw said that in a work environment a white man would be preferable to a white woman and a blonde woman would be the worst of all.

No one is nasty about blonde babies though. I was on the receiving end of a group of mums at a baby group talking about how worried they were that their babies would be ginger. Both me and my then weeks-old son have red hair and we were sitting right there. People are openly cruel and discriminatory towards redheads in a way they just aren't towards blondes although I do see that the "blondes are stupid" discourse is tiresome and should also be got rid of.

Mostlycarbon · 16/07/2024 18:43

There are plenty of brown haired white kids modelling for all the major retailers.

Next: Buy Grey Regular Pull-On Waist School Formal Straight Trousers (3-17yrs) from the Next UK online shop

Boden: Cotton Linen Shirt - Sapphire Blue Seashore | Boden UK

M&S: Pure Cotton Floral Dress (2-8 Yrs) | M&S Collection | M&S (marksandspencer.com)

I personally wouldn't want my kids' photos in the school prospectus, though. As a teacher I've seen kids' photos used on the back of a school minibus, blown up to several times larger than lifesized and the kids were really embarrassed. So I don't tick the box that lets schools use my children's photos for advertising. I don't want them on social media etc.

I've also worked in boarding schools with predominantly Chinese boarders and this is really played down in the prospectus, because the schools don't want to advertise the fact that boarders are 90% Chinese. So they use the one white boarder in all the pictures. Pretty toxic.

Buy Grey Regular Pull-On Waist School Formal Straight Trousers (3-17yrs) from the Next UK online shop

Shop for Grey Regular Pull-On Waist School Formal Straight Trousers (3-17yrs) at Next.co.uk. Next day delivery and free returns to store. 1000s of products online. Buy Grey Regular Pull-On Waist School Formal Straight Trousers (3-17yrs) now!

https://www.next.co.uk/style/st179631/600620#600620

Bournetilly · 16/07/2024 18:24

Just went on my child’s school website, on the homepage there are 5 photos which include 6 children with brown hair and pale skin. There are no other photos. I think this is something you are sensitive about, don’t make your children feel this way. I have brown hair and pale skin (unless been on holiday and I have a tan) and I never felt this way as a child.

Allmyfavouritepeople · 16/07/2024 18:14

alldayeveryday247 · 16/07/2024 17:56

@Allmyfavouritepeople

As a blonde it seems like we are the last hair colour it's acceptable to openly dislike.

As someone with lots of redheads in the family, you must be joking right?!

The endless jokes and the 'come on, it's only a joke' attitude towards people with ginger hair is truly alive and kicking.

I'm not saying nobody else gets it either but if you think mocking or bullying of ginger people has stopped then you must not know any!

To be fair I don't so I can only speak from my experience. My point was that it's widely considered unacceptable to ask if ginger people have souls (example from pp) but it is acceptable to say 'I'm having a blonde moment" even in a work environment. Some people might still say the former but it's not as embedded as the latter (IMO).

The discourse that followed on from man Vs bear was really interesting. Examples I saw said that in a work environment a white man would be preferable to a white woman and a blonde woman would be the worst of all.

alldayeveryday247 · 16/07/2024 17:56

@Allmyfavouritepeople

As a blonde it seems like we are the last hair colour it's acceptable to openly dislike.

As someone with lots of redheads in the family, you must be joking right?!

The endless jokes and the 'come on, it's only a joke' attitude towards people with ginger hair is truly alive and kicking.

I'm not saying nobody else gets it either but if you think mocking or bullying of ginger people has stopped then you must not know any!

KintheCottage · 16/07/2024 17:49

I have dark brown hair and am pale, my son also has dark hair and I’ve never noticed this. Just checked the website of the two local schools and both of them have lots of photos of brown haired white children.

TheFormidableMrsC · 16/07/2024 17:24

This is not my experience.

CarrLodgeDonny · 16/07/2024 17:24

I know an academy in Doncaster where their website only shows white, blonde boys and girls. No other race or hair colour but they had black, Asian and brown/black- haired white kids in the school. On one page, the only black kid in a group of students (probably a class group) is behind a blonde-haired child. You can barely see him.

The school was contacted about this years ago but they didn't respond. It would have been great for them to show that they have some diversity in their school - at least to encourage more people who may not know other ethnicities are there and welcome - but it seems they're sending a message through their website. Some other subtle racist incidents have gone on there by those in authority, so it tracks.

EricHebbornInItaly · 16/07/2024 17:24

Interesting thread. I have a blonde blue eyed daughter, no idea how with my Mediterranean dark colouring, but she gets SUCH a fuss about her hair and eyes everywhere she goes. However as an artist who has worked in photography, I don’t think the designer will be thinking about this, he or she will be just trying to find images that show the classroom/activities to the best advantage as well as the children, they will also be limited in which parents gave permission narrowing the choice further.

I love brunettes with fair skin, I married one!

SamW98 · 16/07/2024 17:17

My DS is an adult now but he was often used for school photos online. Hes got dark curly hair, very dark brown eyes and olive skin.

StitchVic · 16/07/2024 17:15

LutonBeds · 16/07/2024 12:21

I wasn’t allowed to be an angel in my nativity play because I had dark hair. The school only
chose blond children.

Same at my primary school! They also only ever chose an older blond haired child to play the Angel Gabriel. Not that I’m bitter, honestly 😆😆

Zanatdy · 16/07/2024 17:15

I’ve got dark brown hair and very pale skin and can’t say I’ve ever felt like this or noticed

Legomania · 16/07/2024 17:13

My mousey-haired white kids both made it into their prospectus on the basis that the member of admin staff could remember that we'd signed the photo release form

Summertimeinschool · 16/07/2024 17:12

I know this is not the point of your thread but both Snow white and Belle are brunette white disney princesses, so you could have been one of them as a child instead of an evil witch.

Legomania · 16/07/2024 17:09

LadyFeatheringt0n · 16/07/2024 16:35

Our school is in a rather white area with few ethnically diverse families. You would not know this from the school website as the few children from ethnic minorities are always the ones included in the photos. They even keep up really old photos .

The school I went to in the 90s had lots of white and Asian kids but only three black kids, reflecting the local demographic at that time. The black girl in my year was asked to be in practically every photo in the school prospectus. It was very cringey (of the photographer) and I can still hear the girl in question taking the mick about it now

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 16/07/2024 17:01

I'm a teacher. I just checked on our prospectus and there are loads of brown-haired white students, and on the website.

DoAClassicCamel · 16/07/2024 16:56

I’ve just looked at the websites for the schools my children went to and there’s plenty of dark haired pale girls and boys.
You are looking for a problem that isn’t there.

Moonshiners · 16/07/2024 16:45

Allmyfavouritepeople · 16/07/2024 12:17

As a blonde it seems like we are the last hair colour it's acceptable to openly dislike.
I've experienced white privilege throughout my life but received hatred not privilege for my hair colour.

Erm every red head in the country is rolling their eyes so far back right now...

Sorenlorrenson · 16/07/2024 16:42

Will someone think of the poor gingers!

LadyFeatheringt0n · 16/07/2024 16:35

Our school is in a rather white area with few ethnically diverse families. You would not know this from the school website as the few children from ethnic minorities are always the ones included in the photos. They even keep up really old photos .

zingally · 16/07/2024 16:32

I think you're massively over-thinking it!

A brown haired white person is (I'm sorry to say) common as muck. And I say that as someone who comes from a whole long line of brown haired white people! I'd say they were up there as the least discriminated against group in history.

BrioNotBiro · 16/07/2024 16:31

I've just looked at my old school's website. Four Asian girls, a black girl, one redhead and a blonde (I wouldn't have thought that reflects the demographic of the locality).

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 16/07/2024 15:44

I'm white with dark hair and have never felt underrepresented. But I do also have two young children, one brown/mousy and the other white blond and I have been consistently surprised (and a bit 🙄) at the absolute fuss people make about the blond one, right from babyhood. It is really noticeable how much more attention, fawning over and comments he has got at every stage compared to his brother at the same age.

HappySonHappyMum · 16/07/2024 15:43

I'm a graphic designer - I have done School prospectuses ALOT. You should consider this:

  • not every parent gives permission for photos of their children to appear in publication
  • photographers go into schools to take images maybe once or twice and they can only take shots of activities that they see on the day - they try not to take staged photos as they never look realistic
  • photos have to be professionally taken to fit print requirements so photos are not quick snaps off camera phones
  • Schools with marketing departments that produce high end prospectuses have corporate identities and style guidelines all of which have to be manipulated to fit supplied images to the design of the document, I try to create a balanced representation of what I am supplied with but it's not always possible
  • Schools supply copy and they always want the highest achieving students and their art/sports/drama featured. Skin and hair colour isn't even considered at that point.

At not one point do I count hair/skin/eye colour - it's always what looks best, what fits the design, what puts the school in the best light. Schools tend to focus on what the thing says.