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Original poster

To be paranoid/puzzled when unfriended on facebook

30 replies

ihateminecraft · 16/07/2024 07:50

Yes, I know I'm being unreasonable and Facebook is crap really but it still hurts sometimes.

I don't get unfriended often & I know I'm not annoying on fb. I don't post that often, average 2-3 times a month, don't share crap memes, political rants etc, just an occasional post of what I've been up to. Usually when it happens it's understandable. For example, ex-husband of friend who deleted most of "her" friends when they split or someone who was never more than an acquaintance & I haven't seen or interacted with for years. I've never unfriended anyone, if I find someone annoying or boring I unfollow them instead.

However, sometimes I feel puzzled & a little paranoid. A friend of DH's unfriended me. We don't see him often but there are still occasions when we'll be together as a crowd. Tbh I've never liked him much, he has zero sense of humour, can be a bit standoffish & takes offence easily. Chances are I've done something minor, such as not liked one of his rants or not wished him happy birthday, so not too worried about him really but a bit irked iyswim.

However, I just noticed a mum I knew at DC's primary has unfriended me. Our DC's are all post high school now. I bump into her locally from time to time and & we interact occasionally on fb (we have ASD kids in common). I wouldn't be offended if I saw she'd unfriended everyone from the primary days but she hasn't (we have at least a dozen mutual friends). My dad died a few weeks ago and she offered condolences which I thanked her for but she must have unfriended shortly after. I've only posted a couple of time since. I did go on a preplanned holiday between dad's death & funeral so perhaps she thought it was inappropriate? (her mother died a few years ago & she still posts about it sometimes so maybe I hit a raw nerve). Only thing I can think of, unless of course she unfriended me in error? No loss as not a close friend but still can't help wondering.....

OP posts:
cupcaske123 · 16/07/2024 07:58

I'm sorry to hear about your dad OP.

Why do you think it bothers you that two people, one you don't like and one you barely know, have unfriended you? Why is the approval of relative strangers important?

You're putting quite a bit of time into this. Worrying over what you think you might have done, looking to see if they've unfriended other people. You're even wondering if you're being judged following a bereavement.

We can't control how other people act and there may be many reasons behind someone else's behaviour. Do you think you're currently suffering from anxiety? Have you had any bereavement counselling? There's an organisation called Cruse who might be able to help.

I would try to put it out of your mind and focus on positive relationships in your life.

gamerchick · 16/07/2024 07:58

Sorry for your loss OP Flowers

You're overthinking it though. She's probably just done a cull of the people she doesn't really see anymore.

I can never figure out who's unfriended me so they couldn't be that important in my life. Blocked, I wonder what meme it was that tipped them over the edge but that's all.

Jujubeez · 16/07/2024 07:57

You're overthinking it. I only keep people on FB that use messenger to contact me. I wouldn't have FB otherwise.

It's not personal.

GeneralMusings · 16/07/2024 07:56

I still have a fb account but never post and have hidden everyone. I just use it to access groups!

GeneralMusings · 16/07/2024 07:55

I think you're overthinking it. I regularly used to cut back anyone I didn't see regularly as I didn't see the point of sharing my activity with people I've not seen in years that aren't actually friends. And none of the people you mention sound like actual friends?

People use Facebook differently to each other and especially now. When it came out I remember posting a holiday pick or job news and now it feels crazy that I shared that with someone I worked with 5 years ago or a school mum from 4 years ago!!!

I think social medias changing for a lot of people. I'd only share things with actual family and friends now.

So it maybe many of your acquaintances are doing the same and aren't wanting to play the game anymore?

I very much dou t it's because you took a holiday or whatever that's mind reading and you'll never know what they're thinking. But most likely it will be just that you're not someone they'd normally meet up with/text.

Short version. Many people now use social media differently and it's unlikely anything you said!