To be paranoid/puzzled when unfriended on facebook

This has happened before quite a few times with people I know. It happened with me and my Mum for no reason at all.

There could be any number of reasons. In the past I’ve deleted people who I hadn’t seen for literally decades and who I wouldn’t say hello to if I passed in the street; people who’ve posted racist/sexist etc. content; people who massively overshare and think everyone needs to read their dirty linen in public.

I deleted one person who I knew quite well because her daughter did a poo in the bath, so she posted a photo of it. I don’t need to see a kid’s shit in a bath. I actually bump into her occasionally and we have a chat. She’s never mentioned getting deleted, I assume she hasn’t noticed.

I just want to say this may be a Facebook glitch, recently discovered a friend from work had blocked me, thought it was really odd obviously played on my mind trying to figure out what I may have done, I asked a mutual friend who thought it was odd, they then asked/made a joke about blocking me and they were equally confused and checked their blocked list and ended up mortified that I was block they also found another 3 friends and a family member blocked - they apologised to me I then checked my block list and found I was also blocking people 🤷🏻‍♀️ I did do a Google search of this ‘glitch’ it apparently exists amongst users but fb have made no official statement regarding it.

so before driving yourself mad ask the person yourself or get a mutual friend to drop a hint on your behalf

i took a year off facebook.. deleted the whole thing, then became a Nana, and wanted to access the selling sites and hubby was fed up of random women messaging asking if i was still interested in random things... breast pump? cot? etc so he made me make a new account.

i have it simply for the groups. i might occasionally post something.

several years ago someone unfriended me on christmas day! christmas day... really? have you nothing better to do than go through your facebook contacts on christmas day and unfriend someone... i didn't care, it made me giggle

I only have relatives on FB, I removed everyone else. The relatives are folk I'm not really likely to see much, due to location, but it's good to be in touch. I also use groups, pages etc to keep up with interests, local news etc.
I have relatives, a few friends, and random folk I've met through mutual interest on IG.
Despite unfriending a fair few local folk I still speak to them when I see them, because the friendship is more than FB.

A friend of mine commented more than once that he never saw my posts in his feed anymore, yet his partner saw them all the time. I said he might have accidentally hit unfollow. He checked and said he definitely hadn’t.

He mentioned it again a few months later. I said was he absolutely sure he hadn’t unfollowed me. He said, “Yes, look” and showed me my profile, pointing at the “Follow” button. He thought that meant he WAS following me; not that he had to click it to follow me.

I actually think it’s quite twattish and more than a little bit pretentious to unfriend someone unless you’ve genuinely fallen out. It feels very “Oh, I’m soooo important and busy; I couldn’t possibly take three seconds to scroll past your post if I wasn’t interested. Every second of my time is ultra-precious and your picture of your child’s first day of school is stealing that from me!!”

I also don’t get the argument of “I delete people if I don’t see them in real life”. Surely half the point of social media is that you can keep in casual contact with more casual friends?

Yeah that's the usual thing to say to stop any awkward moments.

I thought someone unfriended me, I mentioned it to them in a jokey way and they said they hadn't and thought I unfriended them. They could possibly be lying but they really didn't have any reason to unfriend me.

@Nikniknik she wasn't primarily a FB friend 😂 we have had trips together due to a mutual interest. She's known for being super dramatic. I was going to explain to you but can't be bothered.

Try not to take it personally. It is hard. I still feel a bit put out when I've been unfriended. I also find it annoying as it takes me a while to work out who it was. I wish FB would tell you who unfriended you.
I occasionally have a little cull as I can't stand people that snoop or are constantly online yet won't wish me a happy birthday. That REALLY pisses me off for some reason 🤦‍♂️😔🙄

Maybe its a security concern. My phone just got hacked and I went off on a horrible tangent, trying to batten down the hatches and delete contacts and connections. Irrational but it happens.

You “don’t have head space for drama”, but immediately jumped to “FUCK HER” about a friend of 20 years, just because she removed you from her friends list? 😂

It’s just social media. Being connected to someone on SM doesn’t mean you’re actually friends. Not being ‘friends’ on SM doesn’t mean someone isn’t still your friend in real life. It’s all so juvenile, I can’t believe adults get so worked up over this.

If it weren't for social media we would likely forgotten about each other years ago.....

This makes it even more bizarre that you're giving this any headspace.

I bet you were part of the Facebook group asking to bring back the original Facebook.

It's often not about you at all, but what the person is going through in their own life. The most iinnocuous posts can trigger feelings. I've hidden posts on MN not because the OP was annoying or anything, but just because the subject matter triggered some feelings.

I can get a bit paranoid when people unfriend me on FB but I also unfriend people. I unfriend people who I have had little contact with i.e. fellow students or past colleagues. I've only unfollowed a couple of people because they have done something to annoy me.

Sometimes it's nothing you have done, OP.

If I had never unfriended anyone on Facebook I would probably have over 2000 friends on there by now. I've passed through a lot of places in my adult life, met a lot of people, friended many of them on Facebook. Two or three times I've decided I had too many people I barely knew or had met once as Facebook friends and I've gone through my list and done a big cull. I still have over 500 left.

Some people I know have been even more brutal and have fewer than 100 people left, only genuine close friends and family.

Maybe this woman has decided that she only wants to keep people she's actually close to on her social media, and that's fine.

It's not about you.

When I read this I wondered if it was someone I’ve un friended a few days ago 🙈 I had a massive clear out and took lots of people off. I mainly use Facebook for health groups and sort of feel like if I wouldn’t message someone regularly for a chat then I don’t want them on my Facebook anymore, it’s like if I wouldn’t stop and say hello to them in the street why do I want them having access to all my family photos? (Although to be fair I hardly post anything at all these days). I think you’re over thinking it and it could be all sorts of things.

You're not being unreasonable, especially with people who you see IRL I think it's weird of them. I've had this recently, I've known this friend 20 years, went to tag her in something and she had deleted me lol. Did I want to ask her why? Yes I did but I just thought fuck her I've been through a lot the last year with illness and bereavement and I don't have the head space for drama. Try not to overthink it, don't analyse what YOU have done, it's not always you. Xx

Social media is not real and thinking this is odd, I have no idea who unfriends me

How do you notice? Takes me ages to realise, and I couldn’t check to find out when.

Basically it’s not about you it’s about them.

When I realise I’m not seeing things I want to see- good friend’s posts- and am seeing a lot of someone I’m not that interested in, I unfriendly that person.

If I comment on your bereavement post, I’ll see a lot of your posts for a while because I commented, and I’ll miss my nieces’ posts that I really want to see. So I increase my odds by removing you.

Thing is, there aren’t that many people I actually care whether they’ve had a holiday, been somewhere interesting or their DC had a birthday. The vast majority of people on FB are filler for the posts I really care about from family, friends who live a long way away so I can’t see them.

Same here! I have unfollowed everyone except a few relatives.

I rarely edit my friends on fb but last weekend an old friend who was pretty awful to me - subtle put downs, telling me she wouldn’t get out of bed for my salary despite having earned less a year previously. We’d been so close but she changed when my circumstances changed and I tolerated it for far too long. On Saturday I was out for lunch with other friends and she walked by with someone she was out with, said hi to one person on my table but totally blanked me. There’s a small chance she didn’t see me but I just thought - I don’t need this person in my life and unfriended her. My life is better without her.

You’re way overthinking and taking it too personally

I have had refused FB clear outs over the years when I delete people I don’t really see or interact with. If I don’t really have an outside relationship with them I don’t need to know what’s going on in their life and vice versa. I’d still say hello if I see them out though.

It’s much more honest than unfollowing which is a bit sneaky imo. Like you don’t want to see their posts but want to pretend you’re still interested.

It’s social media - it’s not to be taken so seriously.