I don’t understand why he wants me to stay

Cheeseandpickleroll, let him get on with it. His life is his responsibility .
.

Nah bollocks he doesn’t want to keep the family together as he was raised by a single parent - he’s using that as a stick to beat you with and add to his control.

If he was so concerned about parenting and raising his child in a great environment he wouldnt be watching you via cameras, threatening you and ditching out on any actual parenting!

@Diabla please get rid. If not for you, for your child, who will copy the adults in his life. That needs to be you he copies not his Dad. It is not normal to have someone control and monitor you in this way!

PP have nailed it, he wants you to stay because it’s convenient for him, he doesn’t have to do anything for himself. As for making you explain to DS what’s happening the guy is an absolute idiot! A 6yo has no understanding of how adult relationships work and doesn’t need to.

Turn of the cameras, relegate this prince to the Ex’s yard and enjoy your newfound freedom

Clearly state to him "This needs doing, this needs doing and this needs doing. Every day for the next 18 years. Why aren't you doing these things and/or your fair share of them and what do you intend to do about it?"

Listen to his answer if he has one and then proceed accordingly.

Does he work? If yes, why no financial contribution? If no, why not? And where does he go that he needs to spy on you?

All irrelevant, really, as you sound so unhappy and rightly so. Can you get him to leave? If not make plans to move yourself. You and your child will feel so free and happy once you do! Good luck 💐

Go.
Have a life for yourself and your kid.
You really, really don't need this massive lump of 💩 of a "husband".
Sorry.

My husband insists on keeping the family together because he grew up with a single parent.

This is just the pretext. If he cared about his son and family, he wouldn't be threatening to stop the only thing he does for his son (taking him to football).

Don't fall for it.

You answered your own question in your second line. He has it made - he's like an over grown child who won't leave home because mummy makes his life so easy.

It's actually hilarious that one the thing he thinks he can tempt you with is him doing the football pick ups - what a berk.

I'm not surprised you want to leave - how unattractive!

It's hard to make the jump, but when you do and you finally have that moment where you are so much more relaxed, feel safe and happy... You will be so glad you did it.
I didn't take in the camera part, but all of his actions sound controlling. Please get legal advice, then smuggle important things (documents, memories, etc) out of the house to a safe place. When you leave just get out and don't go back. When they lose control their actions can intensify. Wishing you all the luck in the world for you and your child.

That's easy to answer - because his life is about to get a whole lot harder without you there doing everything for him. His reaction to you telling him you want to seperate should cement this for you, he went straight to threatening to make your life harder.

Problem (for him) is you've already been living like a single parent but to two children instead of one so your life is only going to get easier and better despite his threats.

Carry on OP, get him or yourself out of there.

Get yourself some legal advice, find somewhere to stay (family?) and leave. You can't control what he says to your son but you can tell your little one that mummy and daddy are not getting along and have decided to live separately and that you both love him very much. That's all he needs to know at 6. The camera thing is really disturbing, why don't you just turn them off? Are you wary/afraid of his anger? Please keep yourself safe and get help from friends/family if you are worried about how to actually leave. You can ring Women's Aid for advice and support too.

Because you are his live in servant.

Why else ?

He wants you to stay because he’s got complete control over you. He makes you do all the housework and all the parenting, and he spies on you with cameras (do you seriously not realise how insane that is?) so he knows what you’re doing every minute of the day. If you leave him, he won’t be able to control you any more.

This is an abusive relationship, OP. His response to you saying you want to separate was a classic abuser’s response - emotional blackmail, using your son as a pawn in his game.

You need to get away from this man.

What a horrible cunt he is. Turn the cameras off and get rid of this dead weight.

He doesn’t want you to stay.

He doesn’t want to loose his housekeeper, childcare, cook and bottle washer. Big difference.

Get moving. Have the life you want.

Why does he want me to stay, and what should I do?

You are his housekeeper, cleaner, nanny and financial provider, of course he wants you to stay.

He doesn’t love you, he’s a controlling, lazy twat. Divorce him.

So the little things he does like pick up and football training he is using as a threat to stop? He isn't able to put his son and his relationship with his son above his anger for you! I think that says everything.

Carry on with your plan and get out. He has an easy life right now with you sorting everything for him, especially financially.

You deserve a partner. Not someone who uses your son as threat to make you stay.

Does he actually work, or does he just loaf around? At least throw his stupid bloody cameras out of the window.

If you separate from your husband, your son has the chance to grow into a better man if he doesn't see this sad excuse of one all the time.

To offer a word of caution, he seems the type to threaten suicide to get you to stay. Do NOT fall for it. If he does this call the police and get out of the house to a place or safety and stay out.

Tell us about the financial lack of pulling weight though - if you are working and he's at home, even if he does bugger all with the child, he could argue he's a stay at home parent and ask for more money from you - lots of women on here can be helpful if you tell us about the financial situation.

Be very careful op. The camera thing sounds very controlling and he sounds manipulative too.

Have a look at this:

www.gov.uk/government/publications/controlling-or-coercive-behaviour-statutory-guidance-framework

Don't try and reason with him or expect him to be reasonable. You don’t need his permission to leave.

Also you don’t need to understand why he wants you to stay or why behaves in the way he does. But it is probably because he sees you as a possession, and only is interested in what you are in relation to him, not as an individual in your own right.

When you do leave, this can be a trigger point for some men to become more obstructive and aggressive. He sounds like he might be this type of man. So get good rl support around you. Tell your family and friends what is happening. And rally as many helpers as possible.

Stay strong op. Good luck.

You are posting here, trying to understand his feelings because you are a decent person. And yet it sounds like he hasn’t considered your feelings in a long while, and when you have made them clear, he doubles down.

He wants you to stay and is tempting you by threatening to do less than the absolute zero he does already... What a catch. Well done to you for getting shot!

I would make sure I got my child into afterschool clubs, wrap around care and try to work compressed hours to ensure he got to his football practice, or even try and ask another parent to help out from the same football hobby if you can.
He’s trying to ring fence you into staying and control you through your child, carry on with your plan to leave. You can’t stay your very unhappy and it is affecting your little one’s behaviour. Hope everything gets sorted for you op all the best.