is this unforgivable in a friendship?

Wow. You should have blocked him the very first time there was overtones, nevermind admitting feelings. Poor poor move op.

Once youv got someone's
Phone number,it's tantamount to potential disaster in so many ways.remove his phone number,and put all your energy into your child or children.someone else who is unattached will come into your life.A fresh start.

His relationship with his wife, and hers with him, is absolutely none of your business.

And I have news for you. You ARE one of ‘those’ women.

Sort yourself out, grow up, and make some new friends who you are able to be loyal to and understand boundaries.

Your getting your dish served by karma. 😆

She knows and painting you as the scarlet woman is what makes it easy for her to stay with him, by blaming you not him. You should have blocked all communication with him from the get go!

Forming a close friendship with someone else’s husband is always going to ruffle feathers, especially when you don’t have your own husband 🙄

Just because she's stayed with him doesn't mean he's come up smelling of roses as you say. He might be sleeping on the sofa. They might be in marriage counselling. You have no idea the conversations they've had and no right to know either.

If he was single and available you probably wouldn't want him as much. If he left her for you, you too would then have to worry about him cheating.

It's a shame you might have lost your friendship group but I wouldn't try and explain any of this to the other mums in case you humilate this poor woman even more. Best thing to do now is distance yourself. I hope you have other friends.

Totally agree. Im part of a big friendship group male, female, single, married, attached and it would never cross my mind to flirt with or exchange personal messages with any of the attached men. Its such a horrible betrayal of trust.

It shocks me to see how many women on here say that their married male friends have come on to them. In all the years I’ve been single, none of my friend’s husbands has ever done anything sleazy and that goes for the other single ladies in our group - and yes we’ve discussed the subject.

I’m probably way older than you but have been divorced for 18 years so I’ve since been the single friend. I love my friends. Their partners will forever be off limits. I couldn’t do anything to jeopardise their relationships, no matter what might feelings might be. That would be the ultimate betrayal to those whose friendship's mean so much to me.

She's well within her rights to block you and she is also going to try and get through it with her husband if nothing physical has happened and they have kids together.
Sounds like you want her to leave him so that'll leave it wide open for you to swoop in.
We all know he has played his part down and blamed you for everything so who can blame the poor woman.
I'm a single mum. I wouldn't dream of telling any of my friends husbands that I had feelings for them.

unable to believe the feelings I had for him didn't just trump, but floored any feelings of guilt I had for his wife.

Come on now. Seriously.

Well what kind of friend are you really? Don't blame her in the slightest!! You wanted what she had, just say that. You CAN help who you fall for, if someone's in a long term committed relationship the boundaries should automatically be set. Of course he's not blameless, but she doesn't have a life with you. You will get the blame so she can justify it to herself, it was all you not him.

Just because she has blocked you doesn’t mean he is ‘coming out smelling of roses’. It’s a lot easier, at least practically speaking, to end a friendship than a marriage. For all you know she might be ending it. But there are loads of reasons- right or wrong- for not ending a marriage. The kids, shared finances, relationships with extended family. Since nothing actually happened she perhaps feels she should give the marriage another go. This isn’t a competition between you and him over who gets to come off worse. He’s got a lot more to lose than you.
Single parenthood isn’t a ‘card to play’ so you’ll have offended everyone on here who is one with that comment. It’s not even relevant. You aren’t being blocked and ostracised because you are some kind of scarlet woman who people see as a husband stealer because you are single! Take some responsibility. You allowed yourself to be in a situation where you essentially had an emotional affair with a married man whose wife was your friend. If you find yourself developing feelings for someone off limits you limit contact or go no contact, you don’t respond to messages, you don’t get involved in lusty conversations about your feelings, or any conversations for that matter. Yes he needs to take responsibility, he’s been out of order too, but that’s not your concern. Move on.

Yes I’d assume that’s how she found out. Doubtful he fessed up and unless others knew, then it means she saw the messages. So she knows

woncer if part of the op was hoping he’d get kicked out and she could run off with him.

Obviously we don’t know the full story but I do imagine she’s seen the messages, read him the riot act and made it a condition that the OP is cut from all of their lives.

It’s hugely likely she found the messages already.

I'm sure she's found out and he's fed her a pack of lies about how you came onto him etc etc.

You're totally in the wrong and certainly no friend of hers, but it would annoy me too that he was getting away with it. I'd probably send her screenshots of all the messages between you so she has all the information, and then block your whole friendship group and move on. Unless of course the messages aren't quite as one-sided as you paint, in which case just move on.

Yabu to think he's coming up smelling of roses. Most likely they're trying to salvage what's left of their marriage for the sake of their kids so they kind of have to do that by putting a brave face on to an extent. And while I understand you have distanced yourself, quite frankly when I was in a similar situation I blocked the guy first time I got an inappropriate message. You chose to keep that channel open knowing it could lead to further messages and knowing that would be hurtful to his wife if she found out. Now I fully hold him to amount- he's married, he's the one who's supposed to be faithful and protecting his marriage and he's the one who let her down. But as far as I'm concerned, if you knowingly continue contact when the relationship has crossed a boundary and you know there's a wife and kids in the mix then there's also a degree of responsibility in your hands too. So I'm not sure what else you'd expect really. She's able to hold you to account in this way because you mean nothing to her. She's not financially dependent on you, you haven't broken her heart, she hasn't built a life and a family and had children to you. Why would you expect her to just cut him off just as easily when it's really not that simple sometimes. He's probably totally in the dog house, her world has imploded and she's reeling trying to figure out what to do with him. One thing is for sure though, I'd block him now because he's not exactly come running to your door given life is so unfair. He's used you and you've let him. You need to focus on having better boundaries in future op.

Emotional affairs rip hearts out. Ruin relationships and you’ve done it to a friend. I’m glad you’re not my friend.

The mistake you’re making OP is that you are - wrongly - thinking of yourself and the man as a ‘team’, like you should share blame ‘equally’ like kids who have done something wrong. You’re not at primary school, and his wife doesn’t need to be ‘fair’ in her response. She can decide she wants to make her marriage work, and still cut you out.

Similarly, the bloke can just bin you off and work on his marriage. It’s not a particularly nice way to treat you, but it makes sense doesn’t it? To end a marriage requires huge amounts of emotional, financial, and practical upheaval and when actually facing it he has probably decided that, to be brutally honest, you aren’t worth doing it for. I don’t even say that to be mean, it’s probably just what is actually happening in their home at the moment.

Move on and don’t make this mistake again!

Your situation is very different, he tried it on you told him to fuck off, the wife misunderstood. Or understood but decided to get rid of the comp.

the op however was telling this man she’s feelings for him. When very clearly he was just playing her for the ego boost.

No sorries needed. Its 2 different view points due to our different interactions with friend groups.
My friend group both male and female are great, I'm lucky to have them.
I feel for the friend she's been betrayed by her husband and her so called friend and of course she's going to rally her friend group for support. I have no idea what Op thought the outcome would be, but im genuinely wondering if she has done this before as she honestly doesnt seem to graspe she's done anything wrong, she calls him a drug and justifies her actions.
Sometimes i can be too blunt but i'm too old for some peoples shit lol.
Keep your circle small and loyal.

Once he started to come on to you you should have told him that your not interested in getting involved with a married man. I would have told him as well if you continue to annoy me I will tell your wife. I would have blocked him on your phone and social media as well.
Your now in the position that your former friend knows that her husband has been in contact with you and maybe has seen messages between you. No wonder she has blocked you.

I know men like him who get board of what's at home. They can find it hard going when a child or children come along because they are no longer 1st in the relationship. They resent the fact that they have to grow up, have responsibilities and they are getting older.
Then some enjoy the thrill of the chase and like to think they still have it to get another woman. Some will go looking for another woman or try to have a woman on the side who listen to him, tell him he is great and have sex with him.

Your friend might be aware of what her husband is like and maybe he has behaved this way in the past. I know a lot of married women with kids and they will try hard to keep their marriages together. A marriage brake up is hard on everyone concerned.
She won't be friends with you again after what happened.
You need to realise that going forward any friends partners or husbands are off limits despite what ever bit of smooth talk they give you.

Once he started to come on to you you should have told him that your not interested in getting involved with a married man. I would have told him as well if you continue to annoy me I will tell your wife. I would have blocked him on your phone and social media as well.
Your now in the position that your former friend knows that her husband has been in contact with you and maybe has seen messages between you. No wonder she has blocked you.

I know men like him who get board of what's at home. They can find it hard going when a child or children come along because they are no longer 1st in the relationship. They resent the fact that they have to grow up, have responsibilities and they are getting older.
Then some enjoy the thrill of the chase and like to think they still have it to get another woman. Some will go looking for another woman or try to have a woman on the side who listen to him, tell him he is great and have sex with him.

Your friend might be aware of what her husband is like and maybe he has behaved this way in the past. I know a lot of married women with kids and they will try hard to keep their marriages together. A marriage brake up is hard on everyone concerned.
She won't be friends with you again after what happened.
You need to realise that going forward any friends partners or husbands are off limits despite what ever bit of smooth talk they give you.

The title of the post and the actual post don’t really synchronise. It seems to be bragging post about how you, a single woman, are just totally irresistible to married men…

Honestly, it sounds like he likes flirting, and you’ve taken it to heart. He probably doesn’t come across many single women other than at work, and you were new and shiny. I don’t think you’re soulmates. She probably found out that he’s a player and felt like a prick that she married someone like that.