Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To lend/give money to a friend....again.....

78 replies

TigerJoy · 15/07/2024 23:58

It's DH's friend.

Friend has mental health problems and has struggled to get started in life. He's finally, in his 40s, got a steady job, albeit low-paid. He asked DH for £100 last month, DH talked to me about it and we agreed to help - in this case it wasn't a loan but we "bought" £100 of Amazon vouchers from him (legit, apparently, although from the country he's in, where DH Is from....apparently he's paid partly in Amazon vouchers. Yes I know this sounds dodgy).

This time he's asked for £700...because apparently he owes his coke dealer. Who will break his legs if not paid. I know, I know. Friend is seeing psychiatrist more often, doing his best to get his life back on track apparently. He doesn't have anyone else he could ask, parents don't have much.

I think we should give him the money - it'll come out of savings, but we can afford it, even if we don't get it back. Having said that, we're having a baby soon. And I think we should tell friend this is the last time we can help him - due to baby etc.

Most importantly, I feel so sad for DH that this has happened to their relationship and I don't want this friend feeling he can hit him up for money every month.

Anyone got advice on how we handle this?

AIBU to lend/give him the money?
YANBU - don't give him money, he'll just keep asking, it won't help him in the long run

OP posts:
Walkacrossthesand · 16/07/2024 00:08

How long's he been on coke?

TigerJoy · 16/07/2024 00:03

No, but I just feel so sorry for him.

He's been friends with DH for 30+ years and never asked for money before.

OP posts:
DaniMontyRae · 16/07/2024 00:02

He's a drug addict. He's just going to keep coming back to you for more money every time you give in to him. Why would you rather your money went towards this man's cocaine habit rather than your baby?