To be hurt my parents have disinherited me?

Well it doesn’t much matter what they think, they have already disinherited you, you may as well pack your bags and get going.

This must have had a big impact on you, and on them.

I was thinking that too. My guess is that if you divorce him first then they will change their will to put you back in it. Ordinarily most of their money would go to you, with a much smaller gift to the children, with the expectation that the children will benefit get that money eventually anyway, when you die anyway. But if your marriage is rocky they don't want your DH making off with half your inheritance, so they've bypassed you altogether.

Just to clarify.....you want to leave your husband but won't, for fear of upsetting parents who have not only disinherited you because they don't like your husband, but would prefer see you remain married to him? That's completely fucked up. Live your life for YOU, not people who clearly don't have your best interests at heart.

Tell them you are divorcing him before they die, set the ball rolling and maybe they will let you inherit after the divorce.

You are going to divorce anyway so you might as well either inherit or alternatively piss them off by divorcing, either way, they can shove their opinions up their bums.

Before I read your post about divorce I was thinking that they perhaps wanted you to leave him but you wouldn't. I completely understand why they have taken you out of their Will, it's because they don't want him to get hold of any of their money, so they've bypassed you and left it directly to their grandchildren which I think is absolutely fine. I've actually done the same with one of my children because of a similar reason, however I would be delighted if they left their partner.

As they seemingly won't be reinstating you into their Will if you divorce, they clearly don't want to protect you, so why do you still care about their opinion and remain with your husband if you want to leave him?

Assuming your children are under 18 who are the trustees?

I don’t think of not cheating or gambling as major pluses, more minimum floor.

So they don't like your husband, know you want to divorce him, won't support you through that because 'vows', but will punish you financially for staying with him? That's bonkers OP.

Fucks sake! Sod them and do what YOU want. Don't resign yourself to a miserable marriage for 2 people who don't care for your happiness or wellbeing.

Perhaps they know you’re going to leave him after they’re gone and they don’t want him getting his hands on their money.

I'm sending you a hug, because that's really shitty behaviour from them. No wonder you're upset.

How do you know this, have they told you or have you seen the will?

If the will went missing you’d inherit everything.

Well that's fair enough, surely. If I didn't trust my son in law, I wouldn't want him swanning off into the sunset with half of the money I intended my DD and DGDs to have.

Basically they’ve worked out you’ll divorce him when they die and he’ll get half your inheritance

I presume they realise the tax implications. Here in lreland children can inherit a fair amount tax free but grandchildren inherit very little. They may be throwing their money away. Sounds like they are cruel enough to block your opportunity to have financial freedom to leave. That's shocking!

I can see why you're hurt OP. Take some solace from the fact that their money will go to your children. What else is there to do? It will eat you up otherwise

Well I’d limit my contact with them if they think that little of me. See if their GC will look after them in their old age

They don't like your DH to the point they have disinherited you but want you to stay married to him because divorce is a dirty word in their world?

Both your husband and your parents sound shitty tbh. If you want to leave your husband then bloody leave him! Doesn't sound like you'll make your parents happy whatever you do so you may as well make sure you are as happy as you can be.

so if they know you won't divorce while they are alive, they could be worried that they die, you inherit then 6 months later you divorce and your DH gets half. that is exactly what you (and they) don't want.

if you divorce him now, he can't ever get the inheritance and that is surely better for everyone?

They sound horrible and controlling. Have you read 'Toxic Parents'?

It seems understandable that they don't want him to benefit at all.

Less so that don't want you to divorce & presumably wouldn't help you even if they could.

Are there cultural issues at play here? I can’t understand a grown woman living unhappily married just because her parents would disapprove of divorce.

Please don’t let that stop you.

You shouldn't be hurt, it's their free will.if they would roll in the graves , should you pass before dh and he them inherits it all. Im sure that's understandable

If you currently out savings into your dc name, I would stop immediately as they will inherit enough to establish themselves,

Then put any spare money into a separate account your DH cannot touch so you can leave. Or into your pension. If you can save.

are there any other siblings? Who are they relying on in their old age for hospital appointments, life admin, caring duties? You, having disinherited you, or carers or other sibl8mgs,