To be hurt my parents have disinherited me?

I am not going to enter in the discussion about if what they doing is right or not because how you said is them money and if they like they can burn it better then give it to you , also leaving them to your childrens deffinetley showing that they are good people that care about them relatives so the discussion about them being greedy or selfish people is over before can start .
What I want to say is that in my life I saw many many situations like yours when the parents of a person don't agree with that person choice for marriage and not even once that marriage worked out till the end so if I would make an educated guess probably yours is not going to work either .
What parents unfortunately do not understand is that trying to force a woman not to marry someone is like pushing her in that man arms , women are quite fragile emotionally and cannot make them own decisions but they live under the impression they can by basicly choosing exactly the opposite of them advicers this in psyhology is called reverse psyhology , there is a hudge probability that if your parents would have said this man is the best make sure you will never lose him he is too good for you , you would have probably never married him . Same like when a man wants a woman needs to show as less interest as possible and then 90-95% he will make her crawl for him while by chasing a woman you generally push her away .
You should try to get some personality sit with yourself and think simple are my parents stupid and I am smart or the other way around and please don't make me puke by mentioning love here because woman don't work like that they are just controlled by basic instincts like a guy that don't want me don't want me because he can do better so logically he is a good catch so I will chase him harder and then ending up in a abusive relationship where you as a woman become a slave and justify to friends that your heart don't let you take the right decisions .
Fix your relationship with your parents leave the bloody money apart money don't matter that much but to lose the people that gave you life for pen.s is just ridiculous

Your parents sound bloody awful tbh. I agree with this. They are clearly messed up in some way to do all this

Your marriage is not really any of you parents' business. Why protect their feelings? You owe them nothing.

Your parents are being unreasonable to disinherit you and trap you in marriage by it You are being unreasonable not to divorce him for their sake Not divorcing isn't benefitting you so in your shoes I'd do it ASAP but noone gets to control me

There is something about this that feels wrong. It feels very controlling and manipulative on your parents part to be honest with you.

Maybe your husband is a waste of space. I don't know. Either way, this does not feel right. People in families will use money as a means of control, power and one upmanship. This is how it feels to me to be honest.

@PyongyangKipperbang Glad I'm not the only one baffled by such batshit logic!

@Plantbasedpeanuts I agree with PyongyangKipperbang stop being on the end of the phone and doing stuff for your parents and when they ask why you aren't simply reply they have made their bed now they need to lie in it because you can be sure they will expect you to be the dutiful daughter and go along with their bullshit, demands and expectations, they can't have it both ways.

Also fuck what they think of divorce you are a grown adult and can do whatever you want their disapproval and beliefs are theirs and their opinions aren't needed. Stop thinking of their reactions and do what you like if they don't like it tough. Its your life not theirs.

I don’t bloody blame them then. You’ve chosen to be with a man-child who doesn’t think he has to be a parent. Why should he benefit at all?!

you put this much clearer than I did!!

They are worried he will benefit from it or maybe leave me and take half of it.

but I wouldn’t leave him whilst they are alive as it would upset them and they’d be embarrassed. They believe once you are married you honour your vows.

Wow - so your parents are in charge? of you? the adult?

No - they are not, you do not need their permission to leave your husband - if he is an arse and you dont love him any more you will be damaging your dc MORE by staying with him.

Go no contact with your parents, LTB and have a wonderlife

You just said you wanted to leave your husband. So why on earth would your parents want to give you any money when he will gain from this.

Fuck the parents, fuck the husband and fuck the money. No one not even my parents would be controlling my life like this and using threats of being disinherited to do so.

You want to leave and are staying because of your parents?

They have zero compunctions about keeping you miserable in life, and ensuring your children grow up in a home witnessing your miserable relationship?

Just leave. You cannot live your life for anyone except you and your kids. Your parents will do or feel as they want, but if YOU want out of this marriage, then get out. You matter.

Talk about having a low bar. I suspect your parents are right.

Edit; read your update and your parents are perhaps not so nice not supporting you in divorcing him.

How twisted are they! I'd be helping my DD financially so she CAN leave.
Horrible people.

Can you explain why it's sensible to leave 330,000 to a 6 year old rather than to his mother?

The parents sound controlling and callous. Why are posters saying that disinheriting their only child is helpful or sensible?

Husband is wealthy anyway so won't get this money in a divorce - more likely he would have to give OP some of his money.

Children are young and don't need a house deposit etc at the moment. What if they get unsuitable spouses too?

OP is a dutiful daughter who obeys her parents and they clearly have no respect or care for her whatsoever, wanting to chain her to a man they don't even like, just to save face

Leave the husband and don’t give a fuck what your parents think. They’ve already disinherited you, what else can they do?

Save yourself and your children from what sounds like a bit of a shit show.

Hang on. You say your husband is much wealthier than you… why is your husband’s wealth not your wealth too? Is he financially abusive?

And you say your parents despise him but have also expressed total distaste at the concept of divorce, and they’ve disinherited you because they hate him, but also to make it harder for you to leave him???

It sounds like you’re being abused, roundly, from all angles.

Are there cultural influences at bay @Plantbasedpeanuts?

Don't stay in a relationship with a wealthy guy who does nothing for you and whom you don't love any more.

It doesn't matter what your parents think. This is YOUR life and you only get one. If he's slightly less crap than other husbands big wow, he's still crap!

Dump and move on. Take half his money as you're entitled to. But before you tell him make sure you get all the financial info photocopied or screenshotted. Just in case he tries to hide it later.

Maybe your parents will be proud of what you've done after all when they see everyone is happier separate and you're doing ok.

It's not the 1950s any more.

@Plantbasedpeanuts kindly, you need to find a way to live your own life. You are in an j happy marriage and you do not need to stay because your parents say so.

Think about this. They would rather you were unhappy to save their embarrassment.

And would rather remove from you a means of leaving or improving your life.

I think you need to have some counselling so you can see the extent of their control. It’s very hard to come to terms with but this is what it is.

You get one life. Take ownership for it. No one died of embarrassment.

It is sensible for your parents to leave money to your children, you should not feel hurt by that. You should feel hurt - and tell them - that they do not support you leaving an inadequate husband. Dont stay in an unhappy marriage for the children, it is a bad example to set. Teach them to value their own happiness.

However - you havent made it clear why you are so unhappy with your husband you need to leave. Can you have marriage counselling with your husband and work on the problems? Maybe if your parents see you've tried to make it work they will be less opposed to you leaving. You dont necessarily have to divorce, you could have a legal separation.

Your parents don't have to live in a marriage to your DH. They don't get to decide. Most women thrive after ending an unhappy marriage. Your parents would get over it.

@Plantbasedpeanuts

From the 'financial security' point of view, I can see why they've done this. It protects your children from having their inheritance taken away from them by your DH. I assume that the money is going to be in some sort of trust until they reach a certain age. And I assume they wouldn't change this if you left your DH.

The thing is now that they've cut you out, in actuality they have freed you to leave him. You've 'lost' all you can lose (their money) so what do you have left to lose? Nothing, unless you think they'd give the children's inheritances to the Dog's Home or something. And since you and DH are married and he is wealthy, as his wife you'd be entitled to a share of that wealth, assuming that it is in his name and not in some sort of family trust.

I think it would be a good idea for you to speak to a good solicitor. Tell them as much as you know about your DH's 'wealth'; where it comes from, how it's titled, etc. Let them advise you as to whether or not you'd be entitled to anything. Certainly you'd be entitled to child maintenance, possibly he'd have to buy you out of the marital home. Depending on what the solicitor advises, you may find that you are able to leave. Perhaps your standard of living wouldn't be as high as it (seemingly) is now, but would that really matter if you were happier without him around?

As far as your parents, my parents were very religious, too. But when I told them I was divorcing and the reasons why, they took my side and supported me. I don't know what the religion is (and I am not asking) but do you think you'd be able to speak to a priest/pastor/imam about your marriage? Perhaps they would agree with you that you'd be better apart.

In time they may well come round and support you.

Don't bank on this. People are generally very set in their ways, the more so the older they get.

It's crazy that you won't divorce your husband because of your parents. Surely you already know that.
If I were your parents I'd consider doing the same as they have done. I wouldn't want your DH to benefit from the money and I wouldn't want the money being wasted on a divorce.

If you divorced him they might change the will back to how it was before.