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Original poster

My Dh just said I did drugs

137 replies

FeatherBoas · 15/07/2024 20:31

My DH just said I did drugs I never did, the worst was probably a drag on my mum's (stolen) cigarette when I was about ten, I once lit a cigarette for a boy friend while he was driving many years ago. I don't, never did smoke, never have done any illegal drugs, I had friends who did weed, I didn't, I once saw people doing heroin I didn't. I feel really upset why did he say this and when I said I never did he's still saying I did, ridiculous but it seems like he's talking about someone else, he has had a few drinks. We've been together for many years where has this come from? I was in tears with my adult DD.

OP posts:
Hairspray123 · 15/07/2024 21:03

If the conversation is still ongoing could you record it on your phone, not video just audio and ask him straight out why he said it? Dont argue just ask what you want to know and does he really think that etc etc. Dont argue or shout just ask. Then tomorrow when you are both sober ask him again. If he just admits he was trying to wind you up then you can deal with that then, but if he claims ignorance tell him you recorded the conversation as it bothered you and he knew you qere upset play it back to him. Its amazing what hearing something sober does.

Sidebeforeself · 15/07/2024 21:03

Why do you keep asking us where his comments came from? How can we possibly know?

Original poster
FeatherBoas · 15/07/2024 21:01

I wouldn't care if I did, as you say, not that unusual, but I don't and never did so where did it come from? I may be getting a bit worried about his memory recall etc, we are not that young, but why this?

And yes he can be argumentative and difficult, and mis-remember things I say.

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SwordToFlamethrower · 15/07/2024 21:01

So what? I have done a fuck ton of disco biscuits in my time. I regret nothing and certainly would never be ashamed!

Whothefuckdoesthat · 15/07/2024 20:59

I’m a bit confused.

Your drunk DH has said something about you that is completely, ridiculously untrue. I don’t understand why this would reduce you to tears rather than you just rolling your eyes, calling him a dickhead and telling him he’s had enough to drink?

Surely there has to be more to it? Is there a history of him saying stuff like this?

Sidebeforeself · 15/07/2024 20:59

Your reaction seems extreme though .. Crying and it hit you like a brick?! Maybe both sleep on it and when you both have a clear head in the morning tell him he was talking rubbish, wasn’t funny and not to do it again

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/07/2024 20:58

FeatherBoas · 15/07/2024 20:54

May be I'm over reacting, but saying that in front of my DD when it is totally untrue and from someone I do love, is just really painful and where did that thought even come from? He's known me forever and knows, I thought at least, that I never have done any drugs, not even smoked. Just hit me like a brick.

If he gets so drunk he says stupid things which are lies then forgets, he has a drinking problem. Address it tomorrow.

sweetpickle2 · 15/07/2024 20:56

Is there a backstory here? Does he have form for being argumentative or difficult?

As a one off it’s weird, but not something I could get upset over. Lots of people do drugs, it’s not like he said you murdered someone.

Original poster
FeatherBoas · 15/07/2024 20:54

May be I'm over reacting, but saying that in front of my DD when it is totally untrue and from someone I do love, is just really painful and where did that thought even come from? He's known me forever and knows, I thought at least, that I never have done any drugs, not even smoked. Just hit me like a brick.

OP posts:
brentwoods · 15/07/2024 20:53

Drunk people say stupid things. If he's drinking to the point that he can't remember the next morning, isn't that the bigger problem?

CheeseDreamsTonight · 15/07/2024 20:50

@Mongrelsrbeautiful agree re the children. Dd thought it was funny to ask if I was drunk when I had a sip of a drink so it got to the point I was nervous to have a drink as I would be waiting for the comments. All in jest but why? I hated it but he's stopped now and I told dd no more

Mongrelsrbeautiful · 15/07/2024 20:49

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 15/07/2024 20:44

It can be very disconcerting when someone you love and trust projects a distorted image of you out into the world. Even knowing it's not true, you can still be left shaken by it. You are not being unreasonable.

I second this - particularly if this accusation is shared with your children. It could affect your relationship with them, if they don't know who to believe,oe if they believe him.

CheeseDreamsTonight · 15/07/2024 20:47

I get that this can be upsetting as my dh went through a phase of calling me an alcoholic as a joke. My dd then repeated it a few times. I have a single drink maybe once every 3 months but it is then I get the comment. I know it's not true. They know it's not true but it grates on me!

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 15/07/2024 20:44

It can be very disconcerting when someone you love and trust projects a distorted image of you out into the world. Even knowing it's not true, you can still be left shaken by it. You are not being unreasonable.

Original poster
FeatherBoas · 15/07/2024 20:44

Hangerslip · 15/07/2024 20:41

Just wondering if that's what's caused your over emotional response. Talk about it in the morning.

Show quote history

He probably won't remember it in the morning and that will be another argument. I will say nothing, but it hurts.

OP posts:
veritusverity · 15/07/2024 20:44

Well he's clearly pissed and talking bollox, I'd just ignore and maybe go out for a walk if it's not pissing down where you are.

MarpleCake · 15/07/2024 20:43

No idea. As PP said maybe talk about it in the morning.

Original poster
FeatherBoas · 15/07/2024 20:42

MarpleCake · 15/07/2024 20:39

Oh right. Have you asked him why he’s saying this?

I said what are you talking about, but he just repeated that he knew it, I was baffled really, I know he's had a drink or maybe one too many, but where did this come from?

OP posts:
Createausername1970 · 15/07/2024 20:42

Years ago I was having a "heated discussion" with my partner and I brought up something from the past that had always niggled me. I finished off with a flounce to be reckoned with, and as a parting shot as I went through the door I said "I don't know why I married you". Slightly unfortunate, as I then remembered that what I had been referring to had happened with my ex-husband, and DP and I weren't actually married. We are now.

So maybe he was just getting confused.

Hangerslip · 15/07/2024 20:41

FeatherBoas · 15/07/2024 20:39

I had a drink too but what the hell!

Show quote history

Just wondering if that's what's caused your over emotional response. Talk about it in the morning.

Roundeartheratchriatmas · 15/07/2024 20:41

Presumably you then say “don’t be ridiculous” and laugh at him ?

PoopedAndScooped · 15/07/2024 20:41

This is so odd and so not an issue

You know you didnt, so why does it matter?

Even if you did, so what

Original poster
FeatherBoas · 15/07/2024 20:39

Hangerslip · 15/07/2024 20:38

Have you had a few drinks too? Seems like something to talk about in the morning.

I had a drink too but what the hell!

OP posts:
MarpleCake · 15/07/2024 20:39

Oh right. Have you asked him why he’s saying this?

Original poster
FeatherBoas · 15/07/2024 20:38

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 15/07/2024 20:37

This feels like half a story

I wish.

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