My Dh just said I did drugs

Oh please do this.

A friend of my mum did this -

Group of friends having dinner & drink at their's, sat around the living room. The pissed husband throwing unfunny jibes at mum's friend who just absorbed it & ignored him till she'd had enough & said to him, across the room & calm as fuck, loud & clear in front of all their friends -

'Do you remember when you asked me to piss on you?'

Then carried on like nothing had happened.
Apparently he stfu hella quick.

Bemused would be a normal Al reaction, what had led from that to a total overreaction?

Clearly he's a bit of a knob but why the extreme reaction?

I get it: he misrepresents you in front of your dd. But here is the thing: you are upset . Why are you upset? You need to really think about that.

Because since you know its not true there is something else going on. Your dh is drunk and says stupid/false things then “forgets” and is hostile so you can’t ever get an apology. If he’d insisted that your favorite colour was green when its red would you be upset? Would you feel like you needed to do more than make fun of him tomorrow for being such a dope that he doesn’t know what you like? No! You could easily handle that sort of drunken error.

What makes this different? Its an insult—he means it that way. Its false—he knows that. It shamed you in front of your daughter—he meant it to. But because you and he have normalized shitty behavior you cant brace him on it.

The reason you are upset is that you can’t redress the wrong, you can’t tell him that you are upset since he will just pretend it never happened. Or you have no right to be insulted because he was drunk and its not true. What a catch 22!

You should care about yourself more and stop accepting “I was drunk” as an all purpose fuck off from your dh.

There must be a back story to this. Does he generally undermine you? Lie about you? If this was just some BS joke he was making up and the marriage was otherwise strong, and the lie wouldn't affect your career (teacher, police etc), then you could just say 'yeah love but at least I don't see prostitutes, watch porn etc'. Crying seems extreme. he must have done something else to really get to you.

Just say "well clearly I must've been on drugs when I married you" and shrug.

This sounds horrible OP. It’s ok to be upset about it and you’re not over-reacting. It would really mess with my head if my husband kept saying something about me that he knew wasn’t true. It’s gaslighting - something which is also happening on this thread, in my opinion.

Good for all the cool people on this thread for whom illegal drugs are no big deal but that’s not the case for everybody.

Does he often get this drunk and if so does he often act like this when he is? He
doesn’t sound very nice.

An ex would accuse me of all sorts, be adamant I had done X Y & Z, to the point I believed some of it.
He was an abusive, gaslighting wanker.
Does this describe your husband?
Or do you frequently disagree when you both drink?
Is there alcohol dependency in the relationship?

There's nothing worse than someone accusing you of doing something you absolutely didn't do and then doubling down when you deny it

Why is he that drunk though on a Monday night? Does he drink regularly? He sounds like a complete wanker tbh

Your adult dd will believe you. Your husband is just a drunk arse - you are taking this way too seriously.

Yes I would just brush it off as I’d know how ridiculous it is

That's pretty bizarre. What type of drugs is he accusing you of taking? Weed? Prescription? Ecstasy? Heroin? There's alot of difference between having a puff of a joint, being overly reliant on co-codamol or shooting up smack.

My mother in law accused me of leading her son astray with drinking once. She went ballistic!

It came about because she said she wishes she had more photos of us together, so I obliged and got my phone out and showed her pictures of us out for Halloween at an 80s night. We were drinking cocktails. Big deal!

She just went nuts. We aren't big drinkers at all! It was a rare boozy night out.

Anyway. Turned out she was worried because dh dad had a drinking problem and was projecting.

Is there any history of drug problems in your family? (Hard drugs like heroin etc)

Skeggie?

Tacky.

Slap him.

What's wrong with Windsor? You're too classy for a chavfest like Skeggie.

This!!!!

For heaven’s sake OP, either ask him tomorrow or forget it.

It wouldn't make me cry if DH said something like that (he wouldn't), but it would make me cross.

Exactly what I was wondering…

Sounds like the problem isn't your husband talking shit, it's that he's drunk on a random Monday evening.

You're also being very dramatic.

Do you both drink a lot? does he just drink a lot? Maybe time for a chat in the morning.

He sounds like an arse
Has he always been an arse?