My Dh just said I did drugs

@FeatherBoas Ask him for specifics, since he is all-knowing.

DH "You did drugs"
"@FeatherBoas "Oh, did I? And when was this? What date? Where? Which drugs? How old was I? You were there, were you, to witness? Have you any evidence? Photos? No?"

I wouldn’t be upset and tearful, I’d be confused and/or annoyed. Mostly annoyed I think.

He sounds as though he has a serious problem with alcohol. Do you?

The bloke who swore blind I was a drug addicted alcoholic (when I'd take paracetamol about three times a year if I had a migraine and had probably drunk three alcoholic drinks in the previous decade) was, unsurprisingly enough, a drug addict and alcoholic trying to deflect away from his behaviour by attacking me.

Mind you, shortly after that, I also became like an alley cat on heat trying to escape the house in order to hookup with multiple strangers if I said I needed to go and buy some milk, according to him, so I guess you'll know where this is going:

He's an alcoholic using the principle of the best form of defence being attack - and making sure it's something where he can screech 'I'm not an addict, you're an addict, everybody knows it' and you'll get upset as he continues to humiliate and accuse you.

We're you just sitting quietly when he said it or were you having a conversation at the time?

Why is it really hurtful? He's got the wrong end of the stick about something or misremembered something and said it while he's drunk. It's something you can talk about in the morning when you're both sober if you think it's worth setting him straight on.

It’s not an overreaction. This is supposed to be the person you love, who loves you and you can trust completely.
To me it’s why he’s saying this and how, in what context that it’s important. My exh was an alcoholic and would accuse me of the most vile ( completely untrue) things when he wanted to hurt me.
This could be were it starts OP.

So he gets nasty when he drinks, and is so pissed on a Monday night that he won’t even remember what he has said tomorrow.

Is this really how you want to live?

I wouldn't want to be with someone who gets so drunk he loses control of critical faculties like seriously being unable to tell truth from fiction. Unsafe, unreliable, unattractive. Out.

I think we all understand how upsetting it can be. We just don’t understand how ‘you did drugs’ is a hurtful comment. It’s a bit bizarre, as you haven’t done drugs, but we’re not really understanding why that’s ‘hurtful’.

So, I’m sorry you’re upset, but I don’t really get it.

It reminds me of XH#2, who lied and bullshitted all the time while making me feel 'wrong'. I was so in love such a sucker that I didn't realise the extent or significance of his awfulness until, one day, he made a nasty remark that flew directly against my core values.

It was about not giving anything to charity. Donating is a part of who I am, much as not abusing substances seems to be for OP. It shook me so hard that I woke up to who he is (ironically, because he'd shown he didn't know who I am).

I get it, @FeatherBoas, and I think it'd be a good idea to try and answer some of the wider questions PP have asked.

You posted this in AIBU, so you need to accept that people will disagree with you.
I too don’t understand why this is such a big deal. He sounds like an annoying dick though and i certainly wouldn’t want to deal with him any more tonight.

How old is he, @FeatherBoas? You might want to have a word with the GP and get him checked out.

Why are you with this knob?

What drugs, when, how much and how often? A drag of a spliff many years ago or banging a cocktail of heroin and crack into his femoral vein for years? I am using extremes to illustrate my point but context is very relevant.

He’s hammered on a Monday evening and randomly talking about you doing drugs ….

He needs to get to bed.

OP, what is his temperament like generally? Is he a nice and loving husband? Or does he have form to act like this, drunk or not?

Seems like there is a wider problem going on.

Normally I would say you are overreacting, but... The "he won't remember in the morning" and "mis-remembers things I say" tells me UANBU.
Does he gaslight you often?

Hello! Her husband who is supposed to love and support her more than anyone is trying to gaslight her and mess with her head! Of course she’s bloody upset!

Yes. I'd say something like give over, you're talking shit.

Could he just be remembering an ex?

Why do you care so much what he thinks OP? @FeatherBoas

There are presumably wider issues here than him making something up/blatently lying - people don’t generally end up in tears when a drunken idiot talks shit unless there is more to it. Leave it for now, and discuss it in the morning, or a day or two.

No, dont say nothing.
Wait a couple of days untill you are both sober, and then ask him what he meant by it, and not to repeat slanderous accusations.
You are a separate individual and he has no right to make untrue accusations.
Of course its painful, I get that.