My Dh just said I did drugs

I suspect your more upset by the bare faced lying than the content of the accusation. You need to have a talk when he’s not drunk or hungover. It’s nasty to make up stuff like that.

If he drinks a lot, and as you said neither of you are getting any younger, I wonder if it’s the start of an alcohol related dementia.

Are you still under the influence?

So 2 slightly pissed people. 1 has form and accuses the other of doing drugs. Number 2 gets emotional at the accusation. This is all said in front of DD.

Tell you what the problem is.

Booze.

Crying to your adult daughter about this is fucking ridiculous, she deserves better from her parent(s). What a mess the both of you are.

Maybe you should hold both drink less. Its a drug you know and makes some people aggressive and fall into unnecessary domestic arguments.

Why? There is seriously something with you if you think this, yes I genuinely would suggest professional help if this is the case

You shouldn't be okay with this and neither should he.

No, I wouldn't be able to brush it off. People excusing it as just drunk talk ...well no. It's not acceptable and I wouldn't be accepting it. That is a shit way to talk to your partner. No way is it acceptable...people with a drink in them who are normal do not talk this way.

frustration at someone lying about you.

I had a "friend' like this. He would get pissed and just talk shit to put people down. He was a bully, essentially. Could be charming, but he knew exactly what he was doing when he did that. And it was nasty.

Bizarre behaviour from your DH. Gaslighting.

What is the rest of your relationship with him like OP?

When we were splitting up, my exH who was abusive claimed my mental health difficulties were because I took drugs…Only he had some kind of amnesia because while I did actually take some drugs in my youth, I hadn’t for over 10 years. He had conveniently forgotten he took way more than me and much more recently. He also forgot that most of the mutual friends to whom he berated about me to had also taken drugs.

Its actually quite funny when I think about the ridiculousness of what he said now.

It's sounds like his drinking is the problem. He's drunk enough to be talking shit on a Monday night? And drunk enough that you don't think he'll remember what he said tomorrow 😳

I don't think you're over reacting. Your husband has made a false statement about you in front of your daughter and is insisting its true. You know its false, he knows its false yet is insisting otherwise. That's both disturbing (what mind game is he playing and why?) and incredibly frustrating because you're right and can't get him to accept that. If people haven't been gaslighted like this, they will find it hard to imagine you might cry with frustration.
This behaviour as part of his heavy drinking is a concern OP because it means he's escalated to either not knowing fact from fiction, or to wanting to bully you in this weird way. Either way, it's not a good sign. He needs to stop drinking so much.

All sounds a bit bizarre.

hahaha ingenious

My opinion?

He's an alcoholic who knows he is drinking too much and is trying to make out that you are as bad as he is, so he doesn't feel as bad about being dependent on alcohol. His memory problems could be alcohol related as well.

You might love him but he loves drink more than he loves you.

Just my opinion.

He's a drunken twit.
Pay him no heed.

That was pretty nasty to read.

Presumably because her abstinent choices are so important to OP that she actually remember the two long-past times she took a single drag of a cigarette. She would rightly expect her husband to know this about her.

It's an assault on her core values or, in current parlance, her "identity".

Sounds like classic gaslighting

I don’t think you are overreacting @FeatherBoas I think you are under reacting.

Life really is too short for all this tedious alcohol fuelled drama. I wouldn’t be surprised if HE is taking drugs.

Is this how you want your life to play out? And you have children? Being single would be so much better than living with a dickhead like this.

I can understand crying with anger if someone is spouting a lie about you, but to be crying upset over something you know is a lie just seems extreme. If you know it's a lie, why let it get to you?