My Dh just said I did drugs

Firstly, experimenting with drugs when your younger is nothing for anyone to be ashamed of. Even if someone was an addict that sought help and got clean that would be something to be commended, not ridiculed.
But I understand it's touched a nerve. You know you haven't done it, and what's the worst that can happen if he thinks you did.
I'd just try and make a joke out of it. Like, haha, I wish? Why, have you got some?
He was being stupid. But please don't let it get to you too much. Don't let it become a running bone of contention.
I'm vaguely intrigued as to why he suddenly claimed that though. But I'd say just forgetting it is the best way forward.

This. A Monday night as well. Your poor kids. Get a grip.

Probably already been said and I haven't RTFT but maybe you both need to lay off the drink?

Well yes. If he called up her work and told them she’d done something that could wreck her career, then he might wreck her career. Also, if he smashed up her car he could damage her car.

In conclusion, if he did damaging things that he hasn’t done, then he could cause damage that hasn’t happened. But he didn’t.

Apart from being really damaging on an emotional level being accused of things that are untrue it can do other damage too.
I was a reception teacher and my alcoholic exh would say he was going to phone my head teacher and say I sexually abused the children. He was going to call the head and say I swore at the children. He’d phone SS and “report” me. Alcoholics don’t always sound drunk and while it was all utter bollocks of course such serious allegations would have had to be investigated, of course I’d have been suspended and told to leave school until I was cleared. It terrified me. Even writing it here makes me feel sick and it was decades ago.
Anyone, if their husband or partner says untrue things about them needs to think why, where this has come from and where could it go. And please never put up with it.

So, you think if a woman has lots of sex it makes her a slut? That's pretty offensive.

So your husband is saying you are a slut and you don't find it offensive?
How is that a joke.

It is annoying when someone says you did something you didn't as the more you protest the more you look guilty. I'd be annoyed especially in front of one of kids.

He sounds like an awful alcoholic. Why are you married to such a lout?

They are both drunk and need to sleep it off.

Now that's a comeback 😂

That’s okay my DH says I have slept with half of Skegness. He’s very much joking and I have never cried over it. Gently OP get a grip

This is a completely different scenario. OPs DH is not "very much joking" Gently, @JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam , your perspective taking skills could do with some honing!

If he's been drinking I'd drop it completely. Let it go. Don't bring it up again. Don't get into a fight.

Another one for this (and I don’t do quoting)

how can you try to reason with something that’s so wrong

I can understand you feel a bit gaslit. And you are getting a bit of a hard time on here, I think because the conversation just sounds strange and we all can't quite imagine it. What was being said before he came out with this? And did you all pursue the conversation? How did it end? Where is he now?

I can see it would be upsetting for him to accuse you of something that you personally feel strongly about and that isn't true. I think people probably feel you should be angry at him rather than tearful. But they are your emotions of course - you are allowed to respond however you respond.....

Hope you are ok. Maybe get some sleep, and see if it's possible to talk to him in the morning. You do need to assert a boundary here I think, even if it's hard. He needs to accept he shouldn't have done this, and undertake not to do it again. And quite possibly quit drinking, if it makes him a total knob!

You should STOP CARING about this person. Thats the point we are all making.

I agree it would be horrible if my partner of many years said something about we that Just Wasn’t True and then doubled down on it. I would be furious

Its normal to be upset that someone lies about you, especially if they refuse to believe you when corrected. There are also some negative childhood experiences that can leave you with a strong reaction to injustice.

I was going to post that this is the part I would find upsetting but you said it first! I know exactly what you mean. I had a relationship once where my boyfriend was convinced I had once had a thing with a friend before we met. We hadn't. If we had it wouldn't matter because it wasn't cheating. But it was the sense of being accused of lying when I knew I wasn't and worse, said partner feeling he had something over me because "we both knew" the truth. In that case, with the advantage of time, I do think he was not a nice person and actively enjoying putting me in a losing position. Especially around other people. In your partner's case - if he hasn't done this before he might just be drunk and his brain scrambled. If you can talk to him in the morning about it and he can admit he was talking crap that's fine. But it sounds like there are other "communication" issues between you...

Also - any chance he did drugs and is deflecting?

100%

He gets drunk as a skunk and then goes to work the next day? Ick!

It's bullying. He's nothing but a two-bit bully who knows what buttons to push, but if it was done to him, hell would rain down. As far as I am concerned, it's a form of abuse.

If my DH had ever done that to me when drunk, I would have been in the bedroom around 5 a.m. with a loud radio and pan lid cymbals, right above his head.

Is your DD crying about it too? Are you all pissed? Do none of you have work etc in the morning? 😂

I’m not justifying what he did but the best come back is to say you are pissed and talking shite. Take all credibility from him. You don’t try and argue your way out with a drunk person - especially when you are as well.

Yep--tell him you can remember when he nicked your black nightie and high heels (or panty and bra...dress, garter belt and stockings...) and he looked so funny!

Then, when he gets mad, tell him that he has dressed up in your clothes as often as you have done drugs.

Or, roll your eyes and tell him he is not a fun drunk, and he can STFU. Then walk away and ignore.