To think this is scandalous yet in plain sight because the patriarchy has no shame

😄 The story just keeps getting crazier with each post.

You carry a two year old in a full washing basket down the basement stairs? You must be the Incredible Hulk. There's no way that's safe either. One false step is all it would take.
You take a two year old in the shower with you? Also dangerous. They can easily slip and hit their heads.
Your kid never had tantrums if she was made to stay in a room she didn't want to be in? Congrats. You have the most well behaved kid in the history of the world.

Nothing personal, but in order to believe this is feasible I would have to assume the child was a wind-up doll who weighed all of ten pounds and with a skull made of titanium. What you describe is even more risky than leaving a child unsupervised.

You clearly are a man. Very nasty man.

"Where you live is it normal to just leave toddlers alone in playpens?"

We had one for our eldest and it was very handy when he was 12-24 months and needed a safe place to put him - e.g. taking a dump. I don't really have a problem with playpens, but i guess it depends on how long you leave kids alone in them.

Understandable but my comments was in response to comments to that effect. Which is why it was relevent

Of course super dad has a toddler who never tantrums.

I am not responsible for what other people say. It should be tailored to the needs of the child. A disabled child, for example, would cost more.

Sorry in advance as I’m not the person you were replying to.

Ours have always stayed in the kitchen while we cooked, no tantrums, our washing machine is currently in our basement, if I’m home alone I carry our daughter and the washing basket, if I’m not in a rush she does the stairs on her own while I’m in front of her, if she asks nicely she gets a lift down in the washing basket. If I’m home alone and want a shower she just comes with me. When I was a lone parent to my son there wasn’t any household work I couldn’t do with him there. Where you live is it normal to just leave toddlers alone in playpens?

My parents separated whilst my mum was being treated for breast cancer. He felt that her having a mastectomy made her less of a woman so got a girlfriend.
Dad was self employed. Mum had been previously doing the booking keeping and some admin for the business so lost her job.
He gave us next to nothing but did give us something.
I had to get a part time job to help support mum, younger sister and I.
It was awful but we managed.
Dad then got cancer and died.
Absolutely nothing was set aside to help bring up my sister who was still in primary school.
Mum obviously couldn't apply for widow pension but in terms of extra benefits we were really struggling then. I was a student and it was unbelievably hard.
My mum was a hero for managing throughout everything.

If different kids have different needs why is this thread saying all NRP should pay a set amount regardless of what they earn?

Yes court worked wonders. Couldn't forse mum not to move and count remove children from mum. So what the hell can you do. Keep going back to court and spending money ?

So mums get to have, affairs and second families but Dad has to just pau maintenance have no say and stay alone forever.

We managed and paid and never complained but making out that he is scum because he didn't hand over 100% of his wage isn't acceptable. He paid fair maintenance, he paid extra and provided for the children in full under our roof.

So? Different kids have different needs. Some people economize better than others. Your personal experience can't be extrapolated into a general claim.

That's not unsupervised then, if you can see and/or hear the child. My example was taking a shower or cooking dinner. The child is not going to want to stay in the kitchen while you cook, so there will be tantrums. Another example would be when your washing machine is in the basement, as it is in most North American homes. So would you carry the child down with you, as well as carrying the washing basket? Think about it.
If you have a small apartment it could be possible to do most household chores while still supervising a toddler. In a larger, two story home? No way.

Except going to court for more contact. And of course, more kids didn't help his finances or time constraints did they? Shouldn't be having second families if they can't manage the first.

He was doing as much as he possibly could seeing as mum moved away. Prior to moving away he was doing 50/50 was impossible.after the move but he did as much as he could do. Didn't change the cost of our home which was required to house them when they were 50/50 here we couldn't downsize and stick them under the stairs just because it was less than 50/50

So costs didn't go down, they still cost the same here in housing clothing and furniture. Food slightly less but not in reality as whereas our kids would eat non branded items, his children were only allowed to eat branded items according to mum.

"It is not safe to let a two year old wander around completely unsupervised and I'm appalled that you think it is. The hazards are too numerous to mention."

It's the living room, not the kitchen. I'm less than five metres away in another room with the doors open. It's perfectly safe for him to potter around playing with his Hot Wheels toys or watching a bit of cbeebies.

It's relevent because when his eldest was age 9 the cost to DH was X when out child was 9 the cost was far less than x
Same for every age. Because their cost at ours is fairly comparable to each other but we have additional costs with his children on top.

Well yes that's because he wasn't doing half the parenting. Hopefully his total contribution was close to half of what was needed to raise his children.

Age isn't relevant because year on year it's the same situation the cost of child A at 9 was more than child C at 9

Childcare aside, older kids are MUCH more expensive than young ones.

Good parents appropriately childproof their homes, a two year old shouldn’t be in a room that isn’t appropriately childproofed, supervised or not. If a room is so dangerous a two year old can’t be left there while you fetch something from another room it isn’t a safe room for them to be in at all.

I can't make out what you're saying here. The cost difference of older children versus younger children are relevant because...?

Okay, so you low-key neglect your two year old's safety? It is not safe to let a two year old wander around completely unsupervised and I'm appalled that you think it is. The hazards are too numerous to mention.

Nobody is saying men can't do it. We're saying they usually don't. Of course they can do it. It's not rocket science.

That's not accurate.
My DH has spent far far more on caring for older children with costs here and maintenance and the other costs (trips and other) than the younger children have ever had spent on them.

He's not paying more. He's only paying the equivalent (at best!) of what he'd be spending to keep them 50% of the time. The only difference is he is sending it to his ex instead of paying out of pocket on the daily himself.