To think this is scandalous yet in plain sight because the patriarchy has no shame

Who said anything about childhood trauma?

Bollocks. Childhood trauma makes it more difficult to cope as an adult, not less.

Okay, got it. It looked like she was accusing you of all that. Phew!

@Crazycatlady79 is taking about her ex-partner who pays her fuck all CMS because he's claiming UC but works cash in hand as a builder, drives nice cars and goes on expensive holidays, etc.

He's a criminal because of the tax evasion and benefits fraud (and, reading between the lines, maybe other stuff as well).

It was a bloody normal situation for me. And same for many of my friends.
If you don't have the " easy ride" in the first place then less likely to be stressed overall er the crap of day to day life

Lol par for the course om here. I suspect many people don't read what's actually said Just pick out a few words and invent the rest to fit their narrative

Did you forget your next post? You claimed not to be stressed by being a single parent on minimum wage and getting no support from the dad, which is inherently an extremely stressful situation for any person on this earth.
Perhaps you have a different definition for the word stress? It doesn't mean having a nervous breakdown.

What are you on about?

I simply pointed out that @Gogogo12345 was being accused of saying something, and then insulted based upon that accusation, that they'd never actually said.

How is that me demonstrating that I 'don't get it'?

Didn't say I never go stressed. Just don't get stressed over day to day stuff. Got stressed when one DC wrote off car and DGS died ( not connected btw) . Not over changing sheets and washing school uniforms

Deleted because this was supposed to be a reply, but the page hadn't refreshed correctly.

Not only that, they get judged far worse when they are the NRP compared to when men are the NRP.

@ThisOldThang yet again, you demonstrate you don't get it. It's not basic tasks like shopping and laundry that gets stressful, it's fitting all of it in plus random outlying one offs that are a constant stream. One thing as a simple example..phobias. One of my kids is terrified of the dentist, another of dogs. And yes I tried everything you'd likely suggest that I should do to solve it. That makes going for a woodland walk, to the beach, to the park even, a mission that needs thought and planning. The other one, a simple dentist check up is now weeks in the planning and prep and headspace. No doubt you or @Gogogo12345 will tell me how you'd sail through it and I'm just being pathetic but unless you can acknowledge others' truths that every person and situation is different and that in general, single parenting is bloody tough made much harder by the CMS system, there's no point continuing this further.

Are you really saying that poster is a criminal, or is that a joke?

Nope. Read his/her post expanding on it. S/he then went on to list things that would be stressful to any living, breathing human being and claimed to not be stressed by them.
I suppose it's possible s/he does not understand what stress is.
Since I have long experience with internet contrarians, that's always my first thought in these situations.

Sigh. Everybody knows that. Why can't women ever have a discussion about our experiences without somebody pointing out it also happens (much more rarely) to men, or that NAMALT?
Do you suppose men, on a site meant for dads, have people barging into their threads to do this?

"I call bullshit on you never being stressed. Not possible. Everybody gets stressed. Why are you lying?"

@Gogogo12345 said they didn't get stressed by basic life tasks such as food shopping or laundry. They haven't claimed that they never, at any point in time, got stressed by other things.

More likely it's just a contrarian who tries to use false claims about his/her life to "prove" people wrong. Their numbers are legion, unfortunately.

@Gogogo12345 I’m not saying you’re a psychopath, but psychopaths for example don’t feel stress. It’s dependent on your particular brain chemistry, not a moral strength. If you don’t feel stress, you’re the outlier.

I call bullshit on you never being stressed. Not possible. Everybody gets stressed. Why are you lying?

Yeah well to cover a few of those bits. Was basically on equivalent of minimum wage, no CM from kids father and he never said aw them except once in a blue moon .School had a habit of dropping " needs" the night before

Couldn't generally go watching nativity etc ( thank heavens )

Drove old banger and did my own cleaning. Bought lots of stuff secondhand

And 2 kids that's argued and fought every time they were together

Still wasn't particularly stressful. Mins you I was brought up with the motto " Life can be shit. Either sort it or put up and don't whinge"

@Jaxhog that has been covered previously...we all know that, but given that something like 98% of single parents are women it's not really surprising that these threads tend to focus on the absent fathers. I do t think anyone is suggesting it ought to be different if the NRP is female, they just so rarely are.

It isn't just women in this situation! My bro has the same problem with his ex. , who contributes absolutely nothing. ALL exes should be made to pay towards their kids.

You're absolutely right. Women invariably get the shitty end of the stick. Not only financially, but pretty much in every respect.

@Gogogo12345 literally no two situations are alike. The type of job you do, the money available to ease certain pressures, eg a cleaner, or a reliable car, the age and temperament and neuro profile of your children, the amount of help you get from the co-parent or other family. Does the school your kid goes to communicate well and in a timely fashion or just spring things on you? Is your employer understanding about absence or lateness or requests to watch the nativity? All these things and countless more will contribute to how one person handles parenting compared to another. Just because you have found it fine does not mean those of us who struggle at times are doing it wrong or could do it better.

Quite. Stuff gets on top of everyone at some point or another. Can only manage so many balls in the air.