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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take dc on holiday by myself?

37 replies

SixEggOmellette · 15/07/2024 19:35

DH has a habit of making plans for the family to go away and then changing his mind at the last minute. This means that DC has never been on holiday, and while I know that not everyone gets to have holidays, it's something we thankfully can afford and that I would like to do.

Again this Summer we discussed various holidays with DH very enthusiastic about making plans and again, DH finds he is now unable to go for dubious reasons. I feel really frustrated, especially as DC has been aware of holiday plans (against my better judgement!) and will be disappointed if things fall through yet again...SO I said I will take DC away on my own. DH now in a sulk and angry that I want to do this.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MulberryBushRoundabout · 15/07/2024 19:57

Go for it! How many times has DC been aware of this? It is not ok to let kids down repeatedly with something like this.

Honestly my DH can be a bit similar - will agree to stuff then back out closer to the time. It’s a bit of social anxiety/introversion and a preference to do fuck all when he’s had a long week. So I either just plow on with the plans and expect him to keep up, or arrange stuff for me and DC if I think it’s something he’ll genuinely struggle with.

SajtosPogacsa · 15/07/2024 19:55

Do it. I did it several times when the DC were younger. We had a nice, relaxing beach holiday in U.K. without DH moaning how he hates the seaside. We also went to Ostend and had a few days in Brussels on the way back. So easy and relaxing.

MissUltraViolet · 15/07/2024 19:52

Book it! Go have a blast and let him sulk.

What's up with him? what have the reasons been over the years? what do you think the problem is?

madameparis · 15/07/2024 19:51

Book that holiday today!

He is being totally unreasonable. If he can’t go….or doesn’t want to go on the holiday for whatever reason, then the consequence is his. Don’t let him ruin the fun for everyone else.

Tell him you are booking for you and child to go on holiday, last chance if he wants to join you, otherwise you are 100% booking it without him.

SuziLikeSuziQ · 15/07/2024 19:49

I have a DH who struggles with public transport. Therefore, I take the DC away by myself. We just went to Paris for a long weekend and it was fabulous! I'm not going to let DH's anxieties prevent my DC from experiencing the world.

I think you should just do it. I think your DH is then more likely to see the impact of his decisions not to go more clearly, and can either continue to cry off or actually join in.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 15/07/2024 19:48

What reasons is he giving for changing his mind? When you talk about it and agree it, why don't you book it at the time?

Lippylemon · 15/07/2024 19:48

What an arse, I would have done this the first time

CuriousGeorge80 · 15/07/2024 19:46

You are definitely absolutely not being unreasonable. He sounds like a dick

Sunnydiary · 15/07/2024 19:46

YANBU in the slightest.

He doesn’t want to go but you do. He doesn’t get to spoil your fun or dictate what you do. What’s his reason for not going and why is he being arsey about you going with DC?

Shaketherombooga · 15/07/2024 19:45

Go! I would. Maybe take a friend or relative??

Mrsjayy · 15/07/2024 19:38

Your husband sounds horrible who promises children they can go on holiday then changes their mind ! Book something and go

Maray1967 · 15/07/2024 19:37

What are his reasons? What possible reason could there be to prevent you and Dc going just because he can’t? What has he said to explain his weird view?