To think you don’t ask for a present of this value…

Somewhat missing the point, but - you think a 5% mortgage is a high rate? Crikey. Until 2008 the rate was always above 5% and rates are still on the rise.

I think your issue is with your husband, not his gran.

YABVU for thinking a mortgage rate of 5% is ridiculously high… the average BOE base rate since 1971 is over 7%

My DH would just press the button without thinking, too.

I would send the 200 ml one back and buy the 110 ml one instead. Why on earth your DH order the bigger size is a mystery still to solve I guess.

I would definitely be very 🤔and someone, other than DC, requesting/suggesting a £70 gift and I am fairly well off - and I certainly wouldn't ask for one!

Assume that grandma has no idea how much it costs/assumed it was around £20/meant the smaller size.

This is ridiculous, all the metrics show it’s harder to afford a house now, and I’m an oldie so do remember.

Oh here we go. Bash those who scraped money together to buy a house in the 1980s and 1990s. Yes, prices were lower but salaries were much lower.

I could have bought a poky flat in a shitty area for less than 15K but I was earning £5K at the time. When interest rates shot up, I'd have been stuffed.

Just be honest- sorry that’s out of our budget for now. I was thinking of spending £20-£30 so is there anything we can get within that range.

So Grandma didn’t ask for a £70 bottle of aftershave she asked for one that costs less than half that. Then your DH chooses to spend more than twice the amount he needs to, yet you come on her and complain about Grandma? I think you need to look a bit closer to home for the problem.

I asked my daughter last week if she had a preference for a big birthday coming up. She sent me a link to some perfume - the website showed £170. That was the way it was displayed, but when I clicked on it and looked properly it was the largest size ( you’d have to be drenching yourself in it daily ) first with smaller and cheaper versions listed below, so I’ve got a more reasonably sized and priced one. We’ve talked before about her preferring smaller, more portable sized that aren’t going to go off if not frequently used - she likes to have a variety.

Maybe that’s what happened - the website showed the most expensive size prominently, and that’s not necessarily what the grandmother intended.

So you could buy 220ml for £60 but he’s bought 200 for £70-80?

But you don’t actually know for sure what he spent. Maybe there was an offer or discount code. I certainly wouldn’t blame his grandmother though.

Anyway it’s done now. If you don’t feel you can have a conversation about this and buy the smaller bottle, all you can do is focus on being on the same page in the future. So have a conversation, agree a rough budget for birthdays, and while you’re at it any other outgoing such as hobbies, lunches, socializing or whatever. Now is the ideal time with baby on the way.

Maybe they just asked for the after shave and didn't specify the size, but your dh chose the expensive size when he could have chosen the cheaper one? Or they could just have said "after shave" expecting a bottle of Old Spice or something

Your DH didn't have to buy it. His gran probably didn't know it was expensive. Send it back for a refund and buy something that's within your budget.

"...how is best to approach this without conflict?"

There's nothing to be approached. It's done.
Don't ask her to suggest a present again unless you suggest a price range.

This is why I'd never have shared finances with another adult. How utterly soul destroying.

Chances are, when she suggested it, it was the smaller bottle she had in mind anyway? Unless she specifically sent a link to the exact size, rather than "Ooh, he'd love a bottle of Old Spice"
Also, (light-heated, facetious remark incoming) he'd have got more bang for less buck if he'd bought 2 bottles of 110ml for £30 each! 😉

And I'd be even more annoyed if, after opening my post, you decided to send it back!

She probably didn’t earn what you did either. And yes people bought houses for that much then too.

We also didn’t have the kind of earnings that people have nowadays!

It was up to your DH to decide how much to spend (I agree it's an awful lot to spend on someone you barely know!). She probably didn't realise how much it would cost - I'm always shocked by the price of perfume etc and I'm much younger than your grandmother.

I agree with other posters - send it back and get the smaller bottle. It’s quite possible that the Grandmother didn’t know how expensive the after shave was.
However, if you thought the 5% mortgage rate is horrendous, I wonder how you would feel if you had to pay 15 - 17% as we did in the 80’s……..

Perfectly reasonable to be cross with your husband for paying more than you can afford. But I think it’s a bit much to be cross with his grandma, who probably just mentioned her husband’s favourite aftershave as an idea, without having a clue how much it costs.

For a lot of families (including mine), that would seem a pretty normal amount to spend.

But, it does depend on finances, so if you can’t afford it, make that clear.

I'd have been right annoyed if you opened a parcel of mine (could have checked by removing label, left it until he was home to ask if he was expecting anything etc) and then decided to judge me on what I'd brought!