Work experience and DD with men

OP your DH is absolutely right, there is no way it’s safe for girls to be unchaperoned in the workplace with men.

In fact I’m surprised he’s comfortable with her going to school, lest she be alone with a man, perhaps it would be better if she dispensed with the idea of an education altogether?

Much better she stay safely at home, away from the male gaze, no need to even leave the house for sport or shopping.

In fact is she does have to go out, maybe for emergency medical care (if you’re quite sure you can’t manage her symptoms yourself) do make sure she’s adequately covered up so no one sees her flaunting her femaleness. And for gods sick don’t drive her there yourself, hopefully you’ve got a young son who would be capable. Certainly once they’re about 10, they’re much better placed to know what’s good for you and your DD.

If he's concerned I think he should have a chat with her about what to do if her instincts are telling her someone is a creep.

She needs to learn how to try and keep herself safe rather than being stuck at home!

This is not normal behaviour! My 15yo DD is on work experience this week. We got it through friend of family member (we don't know him personally). I doubt anyone is DBS checked. It. Have no idea of the sex of the staff there and it never crossed my mind to check. It's a small company so only a few people. She's met the MD (no idea if make or female). She is doing a 1hr+ commute on the tube alone. DH was just very strict that she have her phone fully charged. She's very sensible and mature - you have to let them go at some point.

Is this 2024? I’m just in shock.

This is a place of work, what does he think could happen? Is he aware that in everyday life there will be situations where she will be around men only? Her team at a future job could have the same composition?

I’ve spent most of my working life being the only woman in the room starting from her age, and honestly, it’s been fine. Men aren’t caged tigers, believe it or not they are people just like you and me.

You probably need to understand what his specific concerns are.

I am always wary of overprotective men so I think your DH is an arse and I would be more concerned about his behaviour and motives than the DBS checked colleagues of your DD

Where has his fear come from? Being with two adults doing their job isn't a risky situation.

We have a young son, and I’m all too aware of that sort of thing happening to boys too, but no I wouldn’t expect a father to be as protective of a teenage son to go on WE with men. I can understand the logic of being more protective of a daughter though given that it is definitely more of a problem with men preying on teenage females rather than teenage males. IDK, I don’t think her husband is hugely sexist. Maybe slightly over protective. But also with good reason.

Then why does he think that men in a professional environment will be?

He needs to make it so he's approachable in the unlikely event there IS a problem

This^

This!!!

Absolutely this.

Exactly.

Your DH is a prick. What's he going to do when and if she has a boyfriend?

OP i would be really interested to know what else your husband does to challenge the threat by men towards women in society. Does he just deal with this by attempting to lock your DD up or is he an activist in other ways?

Weird and controlling. How would he treat a 16 year old woman ?

Massively over protective is what he is and yes that's a very sexist thing, unless he'd act the same way towards a son.

Let's not forget boys are sexually abused too.

Having been involved in WE when I was teaching I know the steps that schools take to ensure their students safety during WE. Even if a student came and said they had arranged their own WE the school would be responsible to carry out the checks, including visits to the new WE provider. Placements with animals were much sought after, encourage your daughter to enjoy it!

Still irrelevant to this girl's work experience unless you're suggesting her dad locks her away, or insists on a female chaperone everywhere she goes?

I’m not sure of the whole context here, but I’m not entirely convinced that is what’s going on. Since when was a father being protective of his daughter a hugely sexist thing?

Yeah I agree, but a warped perception of risk doesn’t mean they are a pervert or controlling. The rest of my post offers other things that could cause it.

It seems like your husband is telling on himself if he can't trust any adult men to control themselves around a 15 year old girl

Well I don't think it's just me this happens to

Which has nothing to do with the OP and the problem her husband is causing their daughter.

That's your perspective. It's nothing to do with this girl's work experience.

@Boreded

Op came here for advice and so far a good chunk of these have decided that her husband is either too controlling or a pervert…this place honestly

Its a simple question of a risk v benefit analysis.

Anyone who thinks the risk of a girl being sexually assaulted on a supervised conservation work experience placement with DBS checked people has, to put it as kindly as possible, a highly warped perception of risk.

The risk of this happening is infinitesimally small.

By contrast the risk of not being able to do this to the DD’s self esteem, confidence and ultimately her career is significant.

This is someone who is unable to put his daughter’s needs first due to his own neurosis. You don’t need to draw any sinister conclusions about why this is to arrive at the conclusion that his priorities are wrong. It’s just profoundly limiting and restricting to the OP’s daughter.