Work experience and DD with men

Sounds like your DH is judging them by his own standards

Then you (or rather your attitude) is part of the problem.

It sounds like you wouldn't spot sexism if it punched you on the nose.

These conversations that schools have with their students before they go on WE, they're not just thrown out of the door with no preparations. Every student will have a number at school to phone if anything goes wrong or they feel uncomfortable, as well as their parents' numbers. Preparing for WE is a massive undertaking for schools.

Yes exactly, shame there's nothing to hold them accountable outside of work.

Do you know what I think I'm against the grain a bit too. I've heard of too many instances where teenage girls volunteered at smaller charities led by men and experienced grooming - one of which a very good friend of mine. It's obviously not going to happen everywhere but male violence is rife and most women I know have experienced sexual harassment in some form from older men.

I don't think stopping her entirely is the answer but I do think a good chat about boundaries, potential dangers and safety is really really important.

H needs professional help because he could affect DD’s life in the future. He sounds very controlling. Over protective is one thing, controlling and borderline creepy thoughts = therapy

But he is being very controlling and trying to say what she can and can’t do and is making a massive set of assumptions when doing risk assessments

she is 15, less than 3 years from being an adult and making her own choices - this is (as long as she herself is not uncomfortable) perfectly fine - and if there is something that isn’t right it is her instincts who should be followed and listened too

@greenpolarbear "Exactly, men are scared of HR departments and losing their job!" Well, as long as they aren't sleazy sexist harassers then they have absolutely nothing to worry about.

I don't know if this is overreacting but personally I'd never allow a teenage girl to have 1:1 lessons with a male music teacher or educational tutor in their home without someone else present. That's far too risky.

I feel like there's more nuance in OP's situation though.

This.

He is judging all men by his own standards? I would be worried as to why he thinks all men are perverts and can’t be trusted around a young female in the work place doing work experience.

Sums up how I feel exactly!
Totally bizarre

Exactly, men are scared of HR departments and losing their job!

@serialcatbuyer statistically you are more at risk from men you know rather than male strangers.

I am assuming if any members of staff had been sleazy/creepy in the past this would have been passed on from previous work experience students. Obviously, nothing is risk free, so DD can be briefed on what to do in various situations, which will come in useful wherever she is as she gains more independence.

I’d be absolutely fuming if DH behaved like your husband is behaving right now. What an absolute tool.

Is there any chance that it's coming from a more personal place? I actually was sexually assaulted on my school work experience placement and the thought of my daughters doing it next year and the year after makes me want to stop them but obviously I won't because they have the right to all of the experiences and I won't let what happened to me damage their lives.

Perhaps his reasons need to be explored more carefully? If he's otherwise rational (and not controlling) is it possible that there's a reason for this behavior and confronting that might perhaps make him aware of how unreasonable stopping her is.

I did my work experience with an urban archeology team at just past 16, pre dbs, so was out on site with 4 men for two weeks. They were lovely (ok, they did take me to the pub, buy me cider and teach me to play pool) and they deposited me safely at the station every day to get home, and couldn't have been nicer. My school had no issues with it, apart from not being able to find me for the check up as we were in the pub.....

Sure, I may have been lucky, but he's being ridiculous here. Do they check in on work experience these days?

He is completely over-reacting. What a twat!

Let's just say in my experience predators often more likely to go after girls that are isolated from family. And of course, he can't know for sure. She's still very young though.

Jesus. Your DH is being very weird....

Stop projecting your issues on other people and get yourself some therapy.

I hope your dd has a great experience and really enjoys it. This can lead to a great job in the future for her if that's what she wants to do and I wish her all the best. I hope her dad backs off as she'll end up resenting him for this behaviour if he keeps it up, it's not fair on you or your dd. He's clearly insecure about himself as that's how he would think or act around women. She's becoming a young woman and checks have been done on the people she'll be working with and she'll have her phone too so you've kept yourself right and your dd as safe as possible. I'm more wary of your H tbh. I really hope he puts his own ideology and unrealistic views to one side and for him to be a great supportive dad and husband that you both deserve and have yours and your daughter's backs. Trust your own instincts and stand your ground. Your daughter will learn true strength and success from you being by her side cheering her on and standing up for what you believe even when it's not easy. You've got this and so does she! Sending positivity, warmth and happiness your way ❤️🦋❤️🦋❤️

If the company is accepting children on work experience they should have a safe guarding policy in place. Have you asked - or has the school asked?

DD needs to learn to manage her own safety with support from her parents rather that being treated as if she is a hopeless victim-to-be to be treated without respect by her own father never mind colleagues or mentors.I hope this isn't a sign of how he treats the family in general. You can be sure that this isn't really a 'being nice' type of overprotectiveness.

I'm not sure how this helps? Does DH have some kind of sixth sense for abusive men? Will he know from a distance, or will he have to come into the building with her and shake the colleagues hand in order to work it out and put DD back in the car? Will he give him a hard stare, or will his very manly presence indicate that DD is the property of another man so shoudn't be abused?

I'm pretty sure that at 15 DD should be in posession of the facts of life, as she's about to go out into it, and she needs to know how to handle herself, around men, and around women, and be able to recognise inappropriate behaviour. Unless he's planning on accompanying her everywhere to do a sniff test. Maybe he is.

I don’t think dropping/collecting/introducing himself in a relaxed way is such a bad idea. I dropped my daughter off today and she already has a part time job. The fact is, she is 15 and that does make you vulnerable to a particular male, whether DBS checked or not!

The rest of your post has no relevance at all imo. If we did a thread now asking women to comment who had experienced inappropriate sexual behaviours from males in the workplace or any other “safe space”, it would be filled pretty quickly.

I do think the Dad is being OTT generally however, it’s illogical to suggest that this feeling is coming from nowhere at all.