My wonderful Dh Cheated on me

The wife does that's why they was on the receiving end of the bs.

She's still not as undignified as their son.

And they raised this specimen .... So who really gives a fuck what they think.

Italian family also it was all very discreet in my family. My grandfather was rich my grandmother spend like crazy and nothing more was said

I know plenty that are not like that.

Mmm just by being me I can back it up. 100% Italian family, I only know a few that haven't cheated. Even then those that haven't are probably hiding it well. Oh and that includes the women too!

At first I was a bit omg that the op had put the screenshot in a family group chat but thinking about it men that cheat would probably be more horrified of his family finding out than his wife so maybe this wasn't that bad a thing to do if she is planning on staying with him but if it was me I'd be out op, he was more than up for cheating on you, wonderful husbands don't do that

I've heard that said about most southern European nations - Spain, Italy, Greece (!!!), Turkey, etc. It's weird. I think it's a way of not acknowledging that men cheat.

By the way his family won't be shocked, despite what they said to you. They are probably encouraging it behinde your back and having a good laugh at your expense. Because that is what Italian families are like. Yes really!

Why though? I don’t get it- how would it benefit them to have their son cause issues in his own marriage? Especially if kids are involved.

Good thing my Italian boyfriends are in the past I'd say.

Really? Families encourage it and have a good laugh?

@Confusionn that's quite a generalisation! Do you have any stats or proof to back up your claim that even the nicest of Italian men cheat

YANBU to be upset at the fact he sent the message.
YABVU to send a screenshot to his family.

They will think the wife undignified because she's not announced her exit from the family she's simply airing dirty laundry dragging them into crap. It wasn't sorry guys we are getting divorce here's why it was isn't ya son trash lol.

I would find it a lot harder to accept had it been a “normal” attainable person , not a model where his chances are likely 0.

It's hard to believe so few posters on here know that some Instagram models are often also Only Fans "models" who are sex workers ..... Either by photo, video or meet ups.

I don't believe for one minute this is the only time. What if the model said yes?
Why on earth go to the family? Is he 5? This itself is bizarre

Most Italian men stray at some point. It is just a cultural fact. Even the goody two shoes butter wouldn't melt one's. The one's that don't are an exception to the rule. I speak as an Italian.

I am pretty sure you were kind of aware of this before you married him?
By the way his family won't be shocked, despite what they said to you. They are probably encouraging it behinde your back and having a good laugh at your expense. Because that is what Italian families are like. Yes really!

He is what my Italian best friend calls uno stronzo. (Massa fecale solida di forma cindricale).

@Mrsttcno1 wrote: I'm not sure if I'd call it cheating. Probably only because she didn't reply and he got nothing out of it.

I'd call it exactly that. The thought is father to the deed, after all. His head is in that space. He is up for a shag, make no mistake about that. FFS. As women we don't have to have standards that are on the bloody ground or lower!!!

Flirting is accepted in "Italian culture" - puh-leeze! Like I said, uno stronzo.

You could have just quoted my whole comment in your first reply...

It is possessive behaviour. If my husband was logged into something I would just logout and use my own account. My first instinct isn't to check his messages. I haven't done that once in over 10yrs. I mean, her instincts were right... but what does that say about their marriage? Their were cracks to begin with. So the thread title means what?

I'm sure they'll recover.

And I'm sure there were interested in everything else in op and her h's life, their kids etc.
You don't get to cherry pick what you want to know about your child's marriage. Especially when they are trashing it.

She clearly felt his parents should know about how he's behaved, and she's justified in that.

As I said, if you're a big enough boy to try to cheat on your wife & mother of your kids; you're a big enough boy for people to know about it.

They told me that they understood my anger but he has not cheated as he never met this woman and that the conversation never went further. I don't know if this a cultural thing (they're italian) and normal for italian men to behave like this

This behaviour is no more normal or acceptable among Italian men than it is among British men. Whether or not you want to call it 'cheating' is irrelevant, but I would not be happy if my hypothetical husband did this. Nor would I expect him to be happy about me running to a family chat group to tell them about it.

Someone I knew said his reason for cheating on his wife of 18 years with a sex worker was 'I wanted a different body'.

That's what it boils down to for lots of men. It's not acceptable and nobody should be taking his side. If he didn't do this, the op wouldn't need to have told his family.

Don't want to not f* all different people? then the best thing to do is don't get married and don't have children who also get hurt.

I would highly doubt that this is the first time he’s done such a thing. What are the chances that it’s the first time and you coincidentally stumble upon it? Close to zero I’d say. At best he’s a letch.

If she’d replied with a time and place, he’d probably have cheated. When this has died down he may try again with someone else.

Personally, I would also be very angry but I would also be embarrassed for him. I would find it a lot harder to accept had it been a “normal” attainable person , not a model where his chances are likely 0.
it does however show he is lusting after another which some may not have a issue with but it’s down to each individual. I would find it hard to believe he wouldn’t look at other women again.

Its unacceptable behaviour on his part... and who knows if its his first attempt? I'm sorry to say it, but it would be a bit of a coincidence if the very first time he attempts to connect with another woman, you should discover it.

That said, what was the purpose of sending a screen shot to the family?

Everyone has their own boundaries and if you are married you should each know each other's boundaries. So whether it's cheating is for you two to know. Personally, I wouldn't have had a problem with that message alone.

I think you were unreasonable to bring his family into your argument by sending them a screenshot. Why make them feel upset and awkward for something he has done? That would cross a boundary for me!