My wonderful Dh Cheated on me

I agree. Absolute misogyny. I can't believe anyone is that stupid 🤦🏻‍♀️

This is a great post. Your own behaviour is really toxic too.

RQ is either -

1. A man
2. An idiot
3. An idiotic man

@RedQuail

If you have a good relationship in all ways including physical then no need for them to look or feel they need to look any further.

Hear that ladies? Simply keep your man physically satisfied and he won't cheat on you.

Bloody hell.

Yeah, or you have just set your bar higher. Honestly, a good one?! Jeez

@BouquetGarni224 I find it really really depressing that the bar is so low

From your post, it sounds like you have a good one.

You must be reading a different thread from me.

No it's fucking not.

Mmm in my experience, although northern Italians like to think themselves superior to those from the South, there is not a lot of difference really in their attitude. Perhaps northerners hide it better and are more discrete, but really from top to toe the similarities are notable.

Did the northern Italians tell you this, or is it your own experience?

Honestly I don't really know what to say. There is a bit of a problem in Italy with men's attitude towards women. But I still think the way people are talking about "Italian men" as a class, extrapolating from a few incidents, wouldn't even acceptable if we were talking about other groups of people.

When i was sixteen i accepted a lift home from an Italian family friend He was 56 He kept on and on about how i was a woman now and how lovely i looked and asked me for a kiss. I said no. I became frightened and started to worry that he wouldnt take me home but to a deserted place somewhere, I was scared but luckily he dropped me home. I told my parents (Italian mother British father) my dads reaction was "what is wrong with that fucking idiot" DM instantly blamed me saying i shouldnt have got into his car and kept on about it convieniently forgetting she was happy to leave me round their house six years earlier while both my parents were at work.
When i was 17 a local Italian restaurant owner kept chatting me up going on about his big house in Brentwood and how much i would love it. Also over 50

Something also happened in Italy when i was 10 but i dont feel like going into that. So yeah maybe it has made me a bit jaded!

Alot of the young Italians I know are still being raised to this day like little Princes who can do no wrong.
I once dated an Italian man, absolute pig, never again. Despite having many Italian friends and holidaying in their homes with their families, there's just something about how they are raised which makes them think they are gods gift. Not so much Northern Italians but I've definitely noticed it alot more in those from Napoli and down.

Ok. I think a lot of people would disagree that it's a cultural expectation, especially if they're in their 30s or under.

Because its about Italian Cultural Gendered expectations and not the race of Italians.

How is it not racist to say "or is this just because he's Italian"?

This has evoked a memory from when I was in a relationship with an Italian where one married Italian was saying to another 'let's go out and find nice girls'. I thought they were joking but probably not. I also suspected my bf to have cheated on me, though I never had proof. We're no longer together but he still claims to love me (yeah right)

It's not racist to point out cultural norms. It wouldn't be racist to say that in the UK we tend to put our children to bed at 7pm instead of letting them stay up until midnight.

I know a socialist teacher from Turin and he says he hates men who behave like that, wherever they come from.

Racism 🤣 I mean to be fair, a lot of people who say they are Italian on this thread have stated that this is just how Italians behave and that their families accept it too.

@HaveAWordWithYerselfWouldYa It came out wrong, I was referring to when OP said she had a good husband or the family was telling her that. I am not saying that. I have already stated it is very wrong.

.

It's not cheating but it is disloyal to you.

Sharing with his family is over sharing though and out of order. As is the casual racism in this sentence "I don't know if this a cultural thing (they're italian) and normal for italian men to behave like this.".

@RedQuail if the post was the other way round - a husband saying that his wife had messaged a random guy for a meet up but that the guy hadnt replied, so no meet up took place, would you be telling him "Oh you are a lucky guy, you've a good wife there!"?

Actually I will answer for you - no you wouldnt. Not in any world is that the definition of a "good" spouse.

Would he message a car dealership and ask to make an appointment for a test drive if he 'wasn't going to really turn up' ?

Of course not.

He's reached the point in the relationship where other women are more attractive to him than you and he wanting to spend time with them.

It's a horrible thing to accept but one that should make you feel stronger in dealing with him and not taking any more lies or crap from him.

Coming from an Italian heritage myself, some Italian men are very loyal and some are cheating arseholes like any other. From your post, it sounds like you have a good one. Hopefully it was just a one off nothing was going to happen and he won't consider it in the future.

He's a 'good one'. Wut??? Seriously?
Jesus H Christ, some women have appallingly low standards for men.

From your post, it sounds like you have a good one.

Sheesh, that's your definition of a "good" husband?? I despair.

Raise your bar, please