Turning up to venue uninvited…Why?

She wanted a poncy hotel event and couldn't afford it, so she treated half of her family like dirt, and will have to live with the consequences.

Know her do you hmmm? OR perhaps the 'poncy hotel' (lovely bit of reverse snobbery there) were able to do all the stuff she required so she only literally had to turn up and it'd be sorted. And live with the consequences, come on, it's hardly crime of the century - parents have christening...and also relatives with more front than Blackpool, oh noes! The almighty consequences 😂

But why would you do it just because you can?

To teach someone a lesson about manners, etiquette and family relations

Who is she to think they shouldn't be at a public venue on her say?

Power trip

I would NEVER go somewhere I wasn't invited but I get it.

Oh so a christening. Well your friend is petty not inviting her sister in-laws, aren't they the aunt of the baby, so blood relatives to baby. Don't hold an event excluding half the family, seems like everyone was at the church anyway, so then went out to eat. Who the fff invites a person without inviting the spouse, ur friend should be embarrassed

Why do you think that they did it?

They wanted to have lunch out.

It was convenient to be at the same place as their spouse.

It's a public place.

I think it's pretty poor form to "gatecrash", to use your word, but I also think it's pretty poor form not to invite spouses, and indeed children to a baptism. FWIW, children definitely have a time and place and I'm all for child-free weddings.

So they were all a bit pissed off or upset. Call it quits.

Mission accomplished for them then. They wanted to disrupt her event. And they did.

You don't have to be invited to a public place. They were as entitled as anyone to go out for lunch in a hotel. Handy their spoused were going the same direction too. They could share lifts!!

She sounds petty. They sound like they had a bit of fun by showing up to a public place where all their relatives were gathered but they weren't seen as important enough to be there.

Imagine inviting your brother to something but not his wife? It also seems she didn't invite her own nieces and nephews? Tight arse. A public place. It was obviously coordinated by them all to attend anyway. With the knowledge of their spouses.

I hope they all had a nice day.

Did she, sorry, I must have missed that, I only read first few comments.
This is really bizarre then, to have no children at a child's event, and to exclude family from and events which is about being welcomed into God's family.

When we got married my husband invited a woman he worked with. Her husband wasn’t invited as other partners weren’t. He turned up anyway and stood outside drinking with others. My hub eventually said “you coming in” and he replied “no thanks”. It was a small hotel so we had the whole thing booked out, so it wasn’t like he could sit in another bar. They had originally planned on parking their camper van in the car park and sleeping in it but my husband had to tell them they couldn’t. So cringe!

Do you not consider the spouses of aunts and uncles to be uncles and aunts?

The spouses are still aunts or uncles. I sent all the birthday cards and presents to my DH's nephews and nieces. I'd have been hurt not to have been invited to the christening of one of them.

Then you are either not reading the responses or are wilfully choosing to not understand.

As has been said, very clearly, they chose because your friend was spectacularly rude. The others .might be rude, odd, embarrassing themselves or any of the other ways you see it but not to the same degree that your friend was rude in the first place.

You think they were making a scene. They wanted to! They were trying to make it uncomfortable for your friend because she deserved to know how ridiculous she'd been.

You might not agree that she was that rude but to say you can't understand their motivation after hundreds of explanations makes you ridiculous yourself.

The wife of an uncle is an aunt!

The husband of an aunt is an uncle!

This is not hard to understand.

My DF lost his younger brother. Is his widow no longer my DF's SIL? Is she not my aunt? Families are strange, but this thread is stranger.

I think you must be being purposefully obtuse here, or you are indeed the "friend" and can't see through the plans being not as you imagined.

I would almost certainly say these extra family members have not purposefully gatecrashed the event. They are doing perfectly normal things to kill time whilst their invited partners were at the event. That the host held it on the main floor of a public restaurant rather than in a private area is her own issue. If it were a coordinated effort to derail the event I'd have imagined they'd all be dressed up, say at a single table and be putting on a huge display of having a wonderful time, rather than largely minding their own business nearby.

I imagine the host didn't give a thought for the inconvenience of her event for others? Perhaps it necessitated lifts from family members, or juggling with other family commitments or staying overnight at the venue maybe? Catching up on work, going for a walk or, heaven forbid, feeding yourself and your kids lunch in a public area are all perfectly normal ways to kill time whilst waiting for someone to my mind. Maybe the "invited" wanted tonescape as quickly as possible back to their own families and do activities with them that they enjoyed and so it was more of a "drop in" to the christening and meal afterwards - I'd certainly have this sort of mindset if my nearest and dearest weren't invited to the christening of their own neice/nephew/cousin.

The host isn't in any position to complain, she acted like a spoilt brat dividing the family up in to those worthy and not, and quite frankly got what she deserved if she now feels foolish and embarrassed about her actions.

Look OP

What your mate did was fucking weird and rude. People were pissed off with her and were passively aggressively making their protest point.
EVERY Christening I have ever been invited to, my whole family were invited to.

@SweetSouberry you might not 'get it' but it looks like your mate has really riled her family up. She should have hired a cheaper venue and invited everyone.

I agree with the OP. It was weird and intimidating behaviour by the family. Presumably someone else got involved and sent out the message to others to turn up anyway, to make a point.

Yes, your second sentence answers the question posed in your first.

Btw, usually a brother's wife would be viewed as an aunt, not just the uncle's spouse.

The spouse that set up his laptop, don't think that's cringe, he probably needed to drive his wife there, instead of going back home and returning, he was able to work at the location whilst his wife is at the event.

The sisters that turned up on their own table, that's abit weird, if I was the host I would feel irritated and slightly embarrassed that I didn't invite them but here they are. But also would feel they have embarrassed themselves turning up uninvited when they could go eat a million other places

They weren't doing it to control their partners. They were doing it to make a point about their membership of the family to their sister in law.

@SweetSouberry do you have nieces or nephews on your husband's side?

Do you not consider yourself the child's aunt?

You are being obtuse by repeating "but why would they turn up when friend didn't think they mattered enough to invite them?"

Either their niece mattered enough to them that they wanted to be there - at the church to see their niece christened, adjacent to the meal celebrations. Or it mattered enough to them to show your friend exactly what they thought of her attempts to exclude them.

I wouldn't have turned up. But I admire their balls for doing so.

Very telling that five sets of guests did this.

Her own parents initially refused to attend.

She's obviously chosen a very strange option and upset many guests.

She ruined the whole thing and its ethos.

Hopefully she's learnt a valuable lesson.

I think the real significance of a Christening has been lost on OP's friend.

SweetSouberry

@Schoolchoicesucks but being in a committed relationship doesn’t mean you can turn up somewhere uninvited,

It doesn't mean you can turn up at a private house, a private party, a private function uninvited.
But a restaurant, church or hotel lobby - anyone can attend. Let alone the aunts of a baby being christened!

OP it has been explained in some detail what the most likely reasons for the relatives making this choice were.
They aren't particularly hard to understand even if you don't agree with them.