Turning up to venue uninvited…Why?

And out of all the hotels and all the restaurants in the area, they chose that one.

Of course they planned this. Yes OP's friend made a really bad decision. But ganging up to deliberately trash the event was incredibly bitchy and spiteful.

No-one comes out of if it well, but in a fairly close contest, the plotting sisters in law win the spite trophy.

You haven't been on MN long, have you, @lowflyingtitties? Those terms are used to describe people quite regularly around here.

I would guess that most of them offered to drive their partners so they could have a drink. They then walked around the grounds or bought work to do until the event was finished

So she was telling you that your husband and children don't matter to her? And the same to her blood relatives?

I can see why people could have been pissed off, to be honest.

Most of The Uninvited who did attend seem to be family, so I can see how they may have planned this.

But how did the spouse of the friend end up in on the plan?

Presumably these relations were at the Christening first?
Do you think that they shouldn't have been there too?

You keep saying your friend, so your not a blood relative but you were invited over actual family members and can’t see why they would be pissed.

Shes your friend but she’s caused a rift in their family, they have a right to be pissed.

Blood relatives I.e cousins were not invited.

Your friend didn’t want to organise anything she just had a coffee with the maitre’d, so what’s so hard saying there will be 20 guests not 10?

I don’t think jealousy as you keep saying has anything to do with it. Her extended relatives were offended by her behaviour so made the decision to say fuck you and piss her off.

She’s reaped what she sowed.

Why do you think that they did it?

To make a point (en masse).

It's not something I would do, but then I wouldn't hold a family celebration and deliberately not invite half the family.

Was it you that was hosting OP? You're very defensive on someone else's behalf. The host did not choose wisely

Can we just straighten something up as well - it wasn't even a Christening. It's a hotel restaurant, not a church. It was a meal in a restaurant most likely after a Christening had taken place. Babies don't get baptised in restaurants.

I suspect there won't be many happy family gatherings in the future.

I agree with you there.

As one of the uninvited I would have done exactly as the OP maintains she would stayed at home and sulked. I however take my hat off to the brilliantly thought out plan of the uninvited in this scenario.
A reminder that they existed and of her appalling rudeness in a completely non confrontational way.

Your friend sounds absolutely batshit & I would bet any money that this isn’t the first time (or the last time) they’ve done something like this. There’s going to be issues with every single event going forward now they’ve decided to behave this way to family, because even though you’re saying they only invited family they’ve actually excluded family too & have essentially said yes you’re my family through marriage but you’re not really my family so I don’t want you around. She’s going to excluded from a lot of ‘family’ functions

I would not be amazed to learn that the OP is indeed The Friend.

The Uninvited is making me laugh though 😁

I'm not disputing that. I'm just saying they are perfectly entitled to be there, as paying members of the public, just like other members of the public.

They obviously went for a reason. And I think they accomplished what they wanted to. Whether you, I or OP agree with them or wouldn't do the same is irrelevant. There was nothing stopping them going. So they went.

If the mother and brother of the host were considering not going then I think it's fairly clear who the unreasonable person in this family is. I suspect there won't be many happy family gatherings in the future

@SouthLondonMum22

Yes, they did go on purpose. To passively aggressively show OP's mate how rude she was.

It wasn't just like others who were there at all. Those people didn't turn up knowing there was an event on that they hadn't been invited to but decided to show their faces anyway and make it known that they were there.

They went to the same venue for a reason. Come on now.

Those spouses ARE ALSO the child’s Aunts and Uncles.

But in a public place anyone is entitled to be there if they like. They didn't gate crash her party. They went to the same venue and had lunch. Just like others who were there.

No-one is entitled to an invitation? Fair point. Equally nobody is entitled to exclusive use of a public space and insist certain other people aren't allowed attend at their own expenses.

As for not getting future invitations, I can't see that bothering them too much. It's also one less person they need to add to their guest list too. At the end of the day everyone's happy 😉

Ultimately, showing up uninvited is rude behavior that puts the couple in an awkward position. Guests should always RSVP and get confirmation before attending.

Except they didn't show up uninvited to a private function.

They just went for dinner as members of the public, at restaurant, open to the public, where their sister in law/niece in law chose to book a table for a meal for their niece/nephew's Christening because she couldn't be arsed to arrange anything private and doesn't like them. It seems like they didn't even approach her. They certainly didn't expect her to pay or provide anything for them. They were paying customers like anyone else that day.

I mean, let's be honest here, there's most likely a massive backstory involving a prettier sister in law, brother in law that doesn't take her shit or her being so insecure that she's petrified of having another child present who might "take the shine" off their own...it's HER baby and HER day etc. She only wants the people there who are important to HER and she doesn't care about who might be important to THEM (like their own child ffs!), or those who might actually love HER child, she just wants people to be there for HER as you have to put yourSELF first when your child becomes a Christian.

Maybe they did it out of kindness to her. They understood that she wanted a posh hotel but clearly wasn't able to afford to pay for all the family to go. So they decided to ease her financial burden and attended but paid for themselves to have the meal and be with their spouses and family.

She probably should personally thank each of them for doing that so discretely and not making it into a big issue 😉

As a chatGPT user, I applaud this 😂

nice to see chatgpt has given its two cents @islababy22

Other patrons had no idea that they would be an event on. They also didn't turn up on purpose knowing that they hadn't been invited to make some kind of weird point.

No one is entitled to an invitation and no good is going to come out of it because they certainly aren't going to get any future invitations.