Turning up to venue uninvited…Why?

I agree with this. Well played by the Uninvited!

A christening is about the child and the people in its life who care for and are related to it, not just its narcissist mum and her desire to have a dinner in a posh hotel. So before I’d ask why people would turn up to that event if not invited, I’d be asking why the ‘friend’ had persisted in holding the event in that way at all, especially when the ‘friend’s’ mum and brother had initially refused to go. That’s what most normal emotionally intelligent people would do.

OP said they turned up to the church as well.

OP, you keep asking 'why would they do this, why not go somewhere else?' The obvious answer is because they're all really pissed off with her decision-making and have collectively decided to make a point. You may not agree with it, but that is the obvious reason!

They have an elder child did the uninvited go to their christening? Did they go to their wedding?

@OhMrPleasant
Definitely coordinated, which makes me think that OP's mate will have done other stuff in the past to her family to make them react like this.

I suspect she's a nasty person who excludes people on a regular basis

I think the real significance of a Christening has been lost on OP's friend.

Indeed.

@SweetSouberry the behaviour of the spouses of the “blood” relatives (I hate that term) was not ideal, but your friend’s behaviour was much worse. Ungenerous and hypocritical.

A very unchristian christening.

By the looks of it The Uninvited were actually more inclusive and organised than the actual host.

Top trolling by "the uninvited", and so well organised too!

They didn't gatecrash your friend's event, but they made a point of being on the periphery, just where the lack of invitation decreed they should be. At the next table, in the lounge, in the conservatory, patrolling the grounds and peering in the windows - your friend must have been looking over her shoulder the whole time to see where someone would pop up next!

This sounds like it has been highly co-ordinated, as I doubt one of them would have done it on their own. I'm interested to know what their partners, who were invited, thought of it all - they must have known this was planned. Either way, I find it very amusing!

@Gilbertwasawuss

People on here are so weird.

You don't have to invite every single person to everything. It isn't "petty".

To invite "blood relatives" but not their partners and children (who are also blood relatives BTW) is extremely odd and, yep, petty and small minded. Especially to what is traditionally a family celebration. I can well understand the 'uninvited' family members being very upset about being left out. I wouldn't have gone there but they made their point.

let me get tis right-she invited half of everyones family-so her brother but not his wife for instance?

is her name thanos

"Vengeance" seems a little dramatic. They didn't poison the food or walk in and start reading the hostess's diary aloud.

I don’t think she can say much. She invited people to attend brunch/lunch at a hotel to mark a lovely family event - her child’s christening. Her party was not in a private room but held in a public dining area. Instead of inviting complete families from both sides she picked out a few individuals from said families and disregarded spouses, kids etc.

That’s bound to cause a shit storm of offence. Sounds as if the excluded set up a Whats App group and decided to book lunch in the publicly available restaurant to prove a point. And why not bring your sister for lunch too? I wouldn’t have done it, but it is a bit funny. They certainly didn’t humiliate themselves, just her. She should’ve booked a private room.

If they were sat out of the way or outside I can’t see the issue

The spouses are also aunts and uncles. Your friend is sending out a very strange message about her own personal take on who is and who is not family.

Mumsnetters really do like vengeance, don't they?

This. I’ve never heard of spouses and DC not being invited as well as the blood aunts and uncles who are their spouses and parents To exclude them is absolutely appalling. If that happened to me, DH would have refused to attend.

So, yes, you could describe it as rude to turn up somewhere when you haven’t been invited, but the far bigger rudeness is the lack of invite.

And to prove their point, which they did very well IMHO.

I presume they've invited OPs friend, partner and DC to many different events and weee mightily pissed off that it wasn't reciprocated.

No you don't give to receive, but you do expect to be treated the way you treat others.

It is weird to ask some members of a family and not others to a family event particularly a christening. I am trying to imagine any of my siblings inviting just me and not DH and DC to a christening. Cannot imagine it. However, I don't think I'd bring them all along with me if they weren't invited. Maybe it was a nice day out for the families that all came together and the lone person invited didn't want to travel alone and they thought they'd all made a weekend of it.

People on here are so weird.

You don't have to invite every single person to everything. It isn't "petty".

Adults who can't handle not being invited to something are childish, immature and need to get over themselves.

All the people who turned up are quite pathetic and I would go as far as to say they are vindictive bullies.

Also, if they wanted a "Sunday day out" with their own families... I am SURE there are other venues where they live.

They did this deliberately to try and ruin the day.

Trash the event?

There was no event.

Members of the public ate meals at separate tables in the same public restaurant on the day a child was Christened.

Woman who didn't book private venue upset that people she didn't invite to share her table in public venue did their own thing and ate at the same public venue as other members of the public.

It would be a bit of a coincidence if all the blood relatives were believers but none of their spouses or children were. Why would you expect other children to support the baby's faith journey anyway?

So the cousins are close, good friends and they still weren't invited. It sounds crazy.
Your friend has been mean, deciding who is important and her DH needs to grow a backbone and tell her not to be so ridiculous.
The uninitiated (which is a horrible term) can eat where they want. She wanted to be nasty and those were the consequences.
She could have had catered party food at home for less and actually invited the family (or not but at least it would have been private which is what she apparently wanted).

I agree completely! I probably would have stayed home too but hats off to those who wanted make a point!!

Wow. So she didn't invite any of the family to a christening who wasn't a blood relation? I think she is the one who is humiliated. What an unpleasant thing to do.