Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Turning up to venue uninvited…Why?

385 replies

SweetSouberry · 14/07/2024 18:02

My friend made quite a controversial choice in hosting an event this morning/ lunchtime.

Traditionally the event would be more family orientated with kids running around and hosted in a more ‘domestic’ setting.

She hosted in quite a posh hotel and only invited blood relatives and friends. My husband and sons weren’t invited but I went as the event would hold no interest for them.

Her parents and one of her brothers initially refused to go as in-laws and nephews nieces weren’t invited. However, mother and brother did come in the end!

But a whole slew of the uninvited turned up anyway. Two sisters-in-law , one with her own sister came to the venue and had lunch in the same restaurant with their kids who kept coming over to our table.

A cousin’s partner walked around grounds with her own child while partner and older step-child were at event.

Mother-in-law’s sister sat in the hotel’s lounge and the spouse of another friend set up his computer in the conservatory type thing.

I was just cringing, why would they humiliate themselves like this?

I would not have done what friend did but even if I wasn’t invited somewhere and I was upset I wouldn’t dream of still coming to venue.

Why do you think that they did it?

OP posts:
SweetSouberry · 14/07/2024 18:16

It wasn’t a child’s birthday.

Why would you turn up to somewhere that you weren’t invited?

The one who walked around with her teenager did keep staring in as she passed.

if you were pissed off I could see going out somewhere to cheer yourself up, but why same venue that your spouse was at?

Why show your face, when that face wasn’t invited.

I felt we were in a zoo and couldn’t relax as the other guests were so distracted.

OP posts:
Poolstream · 14/07/2024 18:14

Was it a christening?
Your friend can invite who she wants, people can turn up at a hotel that serves food and drink.
Seems a petty family all round to me.

DinnaeFashYersel · 14/07/2024 18:13

Your friend has probably caused a decades long family rift.

dontcryformeargentina · 14/07/2024 18:13

Uninvited turned up as they don't give a shit - pushing/ disrespecting your friend boundaries.

Ponoka7 · 14/07/2024 18:12

It's to rub in her face that she didn't have the power to fully exclude them. She didn't get what she wanted. It isn't them being humiliated.

TemuSpecialBuy · 14/07/2024 18:10

If it was a childs birthday party (youve been coy so its not clear but is the only event i can think of that fits???) then to see the little boy/girl as its their birthday

And agree with @TinyYellow it makes her look incredibly petty to have a family party with an "exclusive" list

TinyYellow · 14/07/2024 18:10

What was the event? I don’t think it humiliates them, it highlights the hostess being tight and petty for not inviting them in the first place.

FatmanandKnobbin · 14/07/2024 18:09

It's Sunday, they wanted a family day, but also to show face at this event, and escape as quickly as possible.

Not sure its humiliating.

AmiShitsaline · 14/07/2024 18:08

I don’t think the one who walked round the grounds did anything wrong

Gymmum82 · 14/07/2024 18:05

They didn’t humiliate themselves. They did it to humiliate her.